Friday, November 03, 2006

New Measures Ordered By Council Planning Chiefs


by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Staff

Stationers and DIY stores across Thanet have reported a rush on rulers and tape measures after bungling council experts were fined for saying a three storey building would only be two storeys high.

The knob-knuckled bureaucrats have already been described as one of the worst planning departments in the country. Now they stand accused of not knowing their roof from their basement.

Other developments which are thought to have been affected by oversize oversights are:

• Pleasurama development. Planners say that the new, £200m development of 1400 luxury apartments and five luxury hotels will be no higher than the crumbling East Cliff, but a source told the Gazunder that he'd seen drawings which 'made the Empire State Building look like a kiosk'.

• Turner Centre. Far from coming 'onshore', according to the Gazunder's source plans drafted by the department show it covering much of the Thames Estuary.

• Dreamland. Again, our source says that the council's planners have included huge new rides and attractions to rival the likes of Disney World! Shurely shome mishtake - Ed.

6 comments:

Snailspace said...

That looks like part of a Hendge Industries 30 Megalyth Circle

Lucy Mail said...

Looks more like the mock up of Stone Henge from that wonderful film, This Is Spinal Tap. Right down to the "inches instead of feet' balls-up.
Thanks ECR, I may have to go and dig that out for my viewing pleasure on my one friday night in, this year!

Eastcliff Richard said...

Don't forget to nip out to Netto for a couple of gnomes to complete the experience!

Lucy Mail said...

Do they do ones of that horribly ugly Gnomey from 'stenders?

Jeremy Jacobs said...

I think one of the best things TDC has ever done was allowing that plastic "veil" full of lights to cover that ugly Regency building by the Clock Tower in Margate.



"Margate, UK's failure capital"

Eastcliff Richard said...

JJ, I'd advise you not to believe everything you read in 'Margate: The Chav St. Tropez' on ChavTowns.co.uk.

Although some of it does ring true, I suppose, viz:

Walking home after 9pm on most nights is a bit dangerous, particularly if you meet the eyes of someone in a group of chavs, many of whom will be assembled round a car which is revving its engine for no apparent purpose. You will be alright if there is only one or two of them, but if there are any more then you have just started a fight. It’s also pretty hard to avoid eye contact with chavs, since they are everywhere in Margate.