Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Millionaire Celebrity To Wed Ramsgate Woman

Isle of Thanet Gazunder World Exclusive

Local celebrity millionaire Mr Richard Eastcliff has announced his engagement to a Ramsgate woman. The mystery bride-to-be is 30 hum-ti-tum estate agent Frances Oapen.

The couple, who are set to be the toast of Thanet, met on the internet. A delighted Mr Eastcliff told The Gazunder: 'It was love at first byte. When I saw Frances had started a new blog, I just couldn't resist getting in touch with her.'

He continued: 'I popped the question over the weekend, and I'm happy to say she readily accepted the invitation to be my gorgeous new beard, er bride.' Ms Oapen was unavailable for interview as the Gazunder went to press.

The couple are now believed to be planning a fairytale wedding somewhere in the South of France. Bidding for the exclusive rights to cover the nuptials is expected to start at upwards of £1m. (All offers to Mr R. Eastcliff, Cliff Top Mansion, Victoria Parade, Ramsgate, Kent)

8 comments:

Jeremy Jacobs said...

I'm devastated.

Lucy Mail said...

I'm a little alarmed that you're holding an air-horn and a glass of champers in the same hand.
What HAVE you two been up to???

Frances Oapen said...

What is this freekin BS? You email me a few times and we're engaged? I've never even met you what the fuck are you playing at you moron your some kind of sad sicko or what?

Anonymous said...

Congrats. Always knew U2R1

Anonymous said...

The toast of Thanet? Burnt to a cinder then.

Heather said...

Hope you've made a prenuptial sweetie otherwise you wont have a leg to stand on in court

Eastcliff Richard said...

Erm, I may have been a bit hasty with this one. My 'beloved' doesn't seem too amused.

Apologies Frances, perhaps I've overstepped the mark a bit. Would a candlelit supper and a couple of bottles of vintage Dom make it up to you?

aussie bloke said...

I see she's given you the horn mate!