Headless Chickens Coming Home To Roost?

Holy brown envelopes! Today's Isle of Thanet Gazunder reports that PC Plod is carrying out a wider investigation into corruption at Thanet Duffer Council in the wake of former Tory leader Sandy 'Shagpile' Beach's public misconduct trial!

The woodentops are said to be particularly interested in the 'property deals and personal interests of politicians and public servants, past and present.' Crikey! That should get them quaking in their Gucci boots and revving up the old Land Rover V8s ready for that long overdue trip to Malaga! Talk about brarn envelopes! More like brarn trousers!!???!!!!!??! (Geddit?!!!?!???!!!)

And given yours truly's extensive and, er, insightful coverage of Fannit events during the years under investigation, it's only natural that Inspector Knacker should come knocking on my door for the inside goss. Of course, I have been more than happy to accommodate him. If you have any juicy tips, just email me at the address on the right and I'll pass them on.

Meanwhile I see the great and good have been lining up to vouch for Our Sandy at Maidstone Crown Court, where the jury is still deliberating after two days. (I hear the jury room at Maidstone is well heated, and the tea and biscuits exceptional.) Norf Fannit MP Sir Roger Wind, local booze emporium magnate Sir Frank Thorley, and high-flying, chopper-loving, China Gateway-developing Sir Ken Wills have all stepped up to the plate to testify what a stout-hearted and honest fellow the former Tory leader, famed for his petition tossing at the Margate branch of Edinburgh Woollen Mill and portrayal of the Mayor of Margate as a 'fucking tosser' at a black tie do, is.

Carpet shop proprietor and ex-boxer Sandy denies the charges of misconduct relating to property deals in Margate's Old Town. M'lud.

Which reminds me, where did I put that Tesco bag?!?!???

Update (12:52 Friday 1 March): Sandy and his co-accused Phillip Emanuel have both been found bang to rights! Hurrah!

China Gateway Bigged Up In Property Week

Ooh! Somebody's spent a bob or two on this flashy CGI fly-thru of the putative China Gateway over at Manston, which was given planning approval two years ago amid Tesco bag accusations of freebie trips for councillors, and since when has come to, er, sod all.

It's part of a puff piece in yesterday's Property Week which begins: 'Building a 3.3m sq ft business park by the north Kent coast might seem like a risky idea in present economic conditions, but developer China Gateway International says it's entirely viable – if it can obtain investment from the Far East.'

Sounds to me like a case of which will come first, the 1000 year old chicken or the 1000 year old egg! It's worth watching the thing right through to the finish (if you don't end up airsick first), when you'll see night descend and the entire array of sheds glowing in the Thanet countryside like a freshly minted uranium rod.

England Expects...

Although it's probably going to take more than a hand from god and a nose full of sugar boogahs for England to get through this afternoon's World Cup crunch match with Slovenia (thanks to reader Puffinman for the pic).

Still, if the number of plastic England flags flying from the Thanet terraces and local builders' vans is anything to go by, the real winners are China!

Thanet Lad Gets His Willie Out For England

Football fever isn't something I indulge in more than once every four years, but I'm pleased to see local tunesmith Lonnie Donegan Jr has re-worked and re-released his dad's 1966 World Cup Willie anthem for this year's footie fest in South Africa. Who knows, perhaps it'll do the trick again 44 years later.

Meanwhile it seems a bunfight is brewing between Thanet's cabbies and our beloved council over whether they'll be able to fly the (made in China) England flag from the roofs of their P reg Peugeots while the tournament's on. One annoyed taxi driver told me recently it was his right as an England supporter, and that there'd be a riot in Cecil Square if the jobsworths put the mockers on patriotic displays of footie fervour!

Chinese Whispers

Despite not building anything, and therefore not renting out anything either, it seems that Manston based China Gateway International (Commercial Group Properties in old money) have returned to profit! Hurrah!

Our Ken's company went from a whopping pre-tax loss of £8.875m last year to a modest profit of £299,000 for the year to 30 November 2009. Not being of a financial bent, I ran that past Cyril my accountant during our meeting to discuss him flogging me some Lehman Brothers shares, and he says it's pretty impressive!

You may remembrane that there was a bit of controversy concerning a Tesco bag and a jolly to China by senior members of the Thanet Council team round about the time CGI were applying for planning permission to build a Chinese themed business park at Manston in 2008. Well, that's all behind us now, as Ken's sidekick Rob Bolton says in his chairman's report:

My prediction that we would be in a position to commence construction at Manston could not be fulfilled due to the lack of any available development finance in the market place.

Er, no, wait. It's all on again:

However your directors have put into effect a plan to finance the venture through the sale of 'seats' to the Chinese end users of the development and the terms of the contract for the first of these seat sales have been agreed as China still enjoys the levels of annual growth that the West can only dream of during these difficult times. I would like to thank our Bankers and shareholders for their continued support and also our executive directors for their hard work and extensive time and travels within China that has brought about these developments and allowed the project to move forward.

So that's alright then! The plan is now to sell these 'seats' to Chinese investors, who would get the chance to hold promotional exhibitions and have a 365-days-a-year marketing presence in the UK by sitting in six, 150,000 sq ft, industry themed 'hubs' out at Manston. Mind you, that doesn't sound like the job-creating industrial and commercial work our beloved council were sold when planning permission was granted.

And as far as I recall, planning permission was only granted for one such 'hub'. So where are the other five going to be built? And when will planning permission be, er, rubber stamped?

Click here for CGI's results statement
Click here for more on the 2008 planning decision in yourfannitinnit
Click on the label below for my previous drivel on CGI

Ken Lets The Train Take The Strain

Tooling back from the old London pied-a-terre to the old Ramsgate pied-a-mer, I find myself sitting in the same carriage as Our Ken, of China Gateway fame!

Times must be hard if he's taking the rattler. What's happened to the chopper and the V8 Range Rover? Shall I tool over and ask him?

Sent from my iPhone

Why I Won't Be Voting Today

Well let's face it, it's a rum choice on the Ile de Thanet.

I usually vote on local rather than national issues, which makes the Tories round here unelectable. Besides, I can't help thinking that bum-faced Dave and his Bullingdon chums cooked all this up back at Eton and Oxford twenty years ago. They're still the Nasty Party in my book, and nothing I've seen emanating from their slavering Thanet adherents has convinced me otherwise. Quite the reverse in fact.

Our incumbent Labourite, Dr Steve Ladybloke, might be a better choice. But I'm haunted by visions of that £25,000 donation to his constituency association by the island's uber-millionaire Ken Wills, just ahead of Our Ken getting planning permission for China Gateway. Dr L seems hell bent on 'JOBS!' at any cost, not least to our lovely local environment. Then there's the small matter of him calling me a liar over that Eurof*****s debacle last November (we're still waiting for their ship to come in, Steve!)

Ordinarily I would vote Lib Dem. But the candidate here has been parachuted in from god knows where and clearly doesn't have the foggiest about local issues. He's the only one of all the major Thanet candidates who didn't rule out Manston night flights like a shot in my Election Question Time. Clearly he's out of touch, or, more likely, was never in touch in the first place. He would, however, provide me with endless comedy material for the next five years, simply because of his name.

UKIP? Nah.

So I'll be writing STUFF THE LOT OF YER! on my ballot paper when I toddle round the corner to the polling station later on. When the booths close at 10pm I'll have full analysis of my election poll, and be telling you who you'll be waking up to in No 10 tomorrow morning!

China Gateway Sold For £5m

Haha! No, not that China Gateway, silly! No, the one in Dover.

Reuters reported late on Friday that China Gateway International PLC (formerly Commercial Group Properties, prop. Ken Wills) had exchanged contracts for the disposal of its properties at Western Heights and Farthingloe, Dover to Dover Gateway Limited for a cash consideration of £5 million. Proceeds will be used to reduce the company's indebtedness to Israel Discount Bank Ltd.

What that means for the future of our very own China Gateway, which was granted Phase 1 planning permission in 2008 after much controversy, only Bertie Biggles and his Tesco bag of goodies can tell. Perhaps with another five mill in his pocket, our Ken can now afford another junket to China for Sandy Ezekiel, Roger Latchford and Richard Samuel? Or perhaps not, as 'Dover Gateway Limited' appears to be 40% owned by Ken and co anyway, with 60% owned by something called Priory Land Ltd, registered at a Regus business centre in Bracknell.

Ah, but then Priory Land are providing an interest free loan which will be repaid at some future date. So CGI net three million mazolians! Hurrah! Treble Maotais all round!

Update: The Priory Land Ltd website's now working. I've updated the link. Thanks to MC Bookman for the update!

Click here to read CGI press release

Everybody Needs Good Neighbours

Noticing that Thanet ranks 50th out of 370 UK authorities on my iPhone's ASBOrometer, with 214 ASBOs issued and a moderate 26.4% level of anti-social behaviour, it got me wondering about some of our larger neighbours.

After all, getting an ASBO slapped on the meat cleaver wielding, crack crazed maniac next door is a piece of cake these days. But what about council sponsored developments such as Chas 'n' Dave Margate International Airport, China Gateway, the two huge offshore windfarms, and the Ike and Tina Turner Centre? Are they behaving like good neighbours?

To kick off this occasional series, I thought I'd take a timely a squiz at Thanet Earth. After all, the Beeb are running a controversial docco tonight about immigrant workers, and the more xenophobic Thanet blogs have frequently whined that this massive uPVC conservatory on the eastern edge of the patio of the garden of England only employs foreigners. Indeed, 500 jobs were promised when the project was announced back in 2007. But their recruitment agency, Kent Staff Services 2000 here on the East Cliff's Bellevue Road, seems permanently unstaffed whenever I walk past. And it doesn't exactly imbue confidence to find that, according to their website, they think they're on 'Belview' Road.

So as far as I can make out, none of Thanet's 4,372 unemployed are queuing up there.

We were also promised a visitor centre, but that hasn't materialised either. Thanet Earth's website says: 'We have planning permission for a visitor centre which is still very much at a drawing board stage.' They're not too keen on giving talks or tours to local schools and societies either: 'We very much regret that our capacity for evening talks in 2009 and 2010 has now been reached.' Donations to local charities and voluntary groups? Not a dickie bird.

Then there's the light pollution, very ably captured by this pic on Bertie Biggles' blog recently. What do they have to say about that? 'The two glasshouses which are scheduled to include artificial lights will not be lit until around midnight. In addition to this, those glasshouses are fitted with a system of electronically-controlled blinds which exist to trap the light inside. We have no desire to light up the night sky either! The blinds are designed to retain around 95% of our artificial light within the glasshouses.'

That's not the way it looks when you drive down the Thanet Way at night. The sky's lit up like a U2 concert! And what about the water they're using which doesn't find its way into our lovely aquifer?

So, Thanet Earth. Here's my Good Neighbour rating:

Economy: 2/5
Environment: 2/5
Community: 1/5
Overall: 1.6/5

Bonfire Night Of The Vanities

I managed to hobble round to my 76 year old neighbour Betty's bonfire party last night. After the whizzbangs, she got to telling me that her poor old pussy is losing its fur and feels quite dry sometimes. Apparently it's also rather twitchy at this time of year and tries to slip out, so she spends most of her time pushing it back in through the flap.

I then happened to mention that the Tory Mayor of Margate, Ted Watt-Ruffell, was hauled up on a charge of maltreating kittens at the Cecil Square magistrates' court yesterday. I wonder if the kitty-fiddling accusations are related to the story in today's Gazunder about two sick little moggies found dumped outside a hotel in Cliftonville in September? The poor purrers have now been rehomed by the RSPCA, but it does all sound a little coincidental.

Anyway, Betty then went off like a rocket. 'The bloody Thanet Tories!' she fulminated. 'I'd like to put the whole f***in' lot of them on the f***in' bonfire! That f***in' Ezekiel he's been scolded by the standards people twice for calling the mayor a f***in' tosser and upsetting that f***in' petition! And as for f***in' Latchford and all the other f***in' cronies and hangers on. And that f***in' freeby trip to China that Wills paid for! And what about the f***in' planning department letting people build whatever they f***in' want wherever they want. What about all the f***in' burnt out holes that Jimmy Godden's left rotting for years, they've done f*** all about those! And now they want the f***in' airport to fly all night, those f***in' planes rattle the f***in' windows all day as it is!'

Well, after that rant, I was quite glad to limp back home and play with my own pussy!

Banner Ban

Quite why Councillor Moores is complaining on his Thanet Life blog about not being able to fly his advertising banners over the 2012 Olympic games is a mystery to me. He writes:

'Our Government will shortly be enacting secondary legislation to "protect" the commercial interests of the 2012 Games sponsors. In a nutshell, you need to think back to the Beijing Games and the heavy-handed approach of the Chinese authorities. This legislation will be 'catch-all' to prevent, 'Ambush Marketing' within broad geographically defined areas and the airspace surrounding them.

So, let's say you try and wear a Pepsi-branded T-shirt within that defined area of London or perhaps Weymouth or Manchester or any other sporting venue. You could, in principle be arrested. Try flying a banner or displaying a flag or a travelling road-sign with the same and you certainly will be and if it's a 'Free Tibet' flag then I suspect that will be caught under the legislation as well.'

I've got nothing against the man personally, and he seemed quite nice on the couple of occasions I met him. But wasn't it his kow-towing Tory administration here in Thanet that suppressed the news of a flying visit by Chinese delegates in August, and blocked off Margate old town precisely so that no 'Free Tibet' flags could be waved in front of their China Gateway chums?

Sxx

Government Legalises Shooting Immigrants

Good morning my lovelies. I do hope you all had a smashing weekend. No you are not having a waking nightmare in which the BNP have taken control of the country, it's all about the hoo-ha in the papers over the government's decision to allow Green Parakeets to be culled.

We have quite a sizeable population of these birds here in Ramsgate and I for one find them an attractive addition to the landscape. Certainly they are more attractive and much less trouble than the indigenous white population, haha I'm talking about the seagulls there. They also seem to be very hard workers and much less likely to live off hand outs i.e bin bags than the locals. Please do not misunderstand me I am not being racist and I think it's a good thing that all the jobs created here in Thanet eg Thanet Earth, Manston Airport, China Gateway etc etc go to foreigners as they are much more industrious than the local dross who just moan all the time and look as if they spend most of their day pissed or banging six inch nails into walls with their deformed foreheads.

The decision has apparently been called racist and 'eco-xenophobic' by somebody at Sheffield Hallam University (that doesn't sound like a real university, does it? Probably one of those jumped up polytechnics.) Anyway you can look at that story from Saturday's Telegraph by clicking here.

Sxx

The Things They Say...

We've had the worries of lead-painted toys from China and you may have heard that many Chinese health remedies are equally contaminated. Now its the turn of clothes, with news that cheap clothes made in China have been found to contain high levels of Formaldehyde to protect clothes that have to be shipped great distances against mildew.

Long-term exposure to the chemical in high levels can be harmful, causing problems ranging from minor skin rashes to some types of cancer.

Let's be frank though. Given the way the Chinese treat their own population and pollute their environment, does anyone really believe that in the pursuit of "Golden grease", factory owners are really going to pay too much attention to our European health and safety laws? I rather think not.

Thanet Council Cabinet Member Simon Moores, 21/8/2007

9/10/2008 - Thanet Council grant planning permission for China Gateway
29/8/2009 - Thanet Council close Margate old town without notice to schmooze Chinese officials

Biggles Knocks One Out

I guess it wasn't going to be long before Daily Mail Man started flexing his, er, blog muscle and started firing both barrels in the latest Thanet Blog War. In today's post he returns to his broken record of attacking anonymous bloggers as 'cranks', 'paranoid', 'disturbed' and 'graffiti merchants'. As well as cranking out the same old, same old 'defamatory language' and 'personal abuse'.

We heard it all before in the Thanet Blog War of 2006, the Thanet Blog War of 2007 and the Thanet Blog War of 2008. Now he's trotting it out again in the Thanet Blog War of 2009, aided and abetted it seems by his new and presumably useful (for the time being) but nonetheless strange bedfellow, Bignews Tony. I'm surprised he hasn't rolled out 'welfare sponger with a political axe to grind' but it's early days yet, I suppose.

As part of his diatribe, he characterises Thanet's blogs as little read and little cared about, and given greater emphasis than they deserve by local papers 'desperate for stories; any stories, true or false, given their own limited and shrinking resources.' What the good doctor has conveniently forgotten, however, (something he's quite good at) is that without these blogs, and just off the top of my head, we would never have heard of:

- Inconvenient truths about Tory councillors' academic qualifications
- Mad Pleasurama plans that embed people's heads in concrete
- Jollies-for-planning-permission trips to China by Thanet Tories
- Secret Tory plans for a Thanet blogging protocol
- Tory councillors who prefer to spend all their time in Panama
- Pollution of our water table by local companies
- Proposals to fly 747s over Ramsgate all night
- On/off/on/off again fast ferry services to Boulogne
- Council planning department disasters

To name but a few. But he wouldn't want to remember those, would he, as they all involve his corrupt and incompetent administration.

So obsessed is the man with getting some dirt on troublesome anonymous bloggers that during the last blog war he went to the extraordinary lengths of sourcing a photograph of one such 'annoyance', and running it past possible acquaintances for confirmation that he'd 'got his man'. If that's not the actions of an 'unhappy', 'paranoid' and 'disturbed individual' expressing 'the darker and more unpleasant side of human nature', I'm buggered if I know what is!

Click here for more guff from the Master of Convenient Political Truths

Update: At the suggestion of one of the few remaining Thanet bloggers I still actually have any respect for, I've hidden the comments on this post. I don't give a whatsit what people call me, it's water off a duck's proverbial, but I draw the line at anonymous name callers using my blog to insinuate named bloggers are paedos, even if they're the sort of bluggers I wouldn't ordinarily stop to relieve myself over if they were on fire. I've said this before, and I'll keep on saying it until you (and you know who you are) have got the message.

Chinese Whisper

Thanet Council and I don't see eye to eye very much. Er, that might be a bit of an understatement. So I see absolutely no reason not to publish this 'strictly embargoed' press release from the council that has come into my possession.

It details a 'civic delegation' from China that's arriving here tomorrow (Saturday) to tour their new island territory, which seems only fair. After all, we occupied Hong Kong for quite a time there, so it's only right and proper that we hand over the Isle of Thanet as reparation!

I imagine this press release has been embargoed at the request of the Chinese, or some Thanetian squillionaire, in the hope that word wouldn't get out. After all, they wouldn't want all those frightful Free Tibet protesters and people who moan about freedom of speech in the People's Republic to turn out in force and piss on their parade, would they? Still, this has bollocksed that up, hasn't it! Maybe the Cliftonville whinger could get off his fat bot and wave a banner. He's always banging on about freedom of speech!

STRICTLY EMBARGOED UNTIL SATURDAY 29 AUGUST, 15.00

Photo opportunity

Date: Saturday 29 August

Time: 11.00am

Place: Margate Town Hall

Chinese dignitaries will be visiting Thanet this weekend to meet a civic delegation.

The dignitaries will include Madam Li Xiaolin, who is the Vice President of the Association of Friendship with Foreign Countries and the Honorary President of the China Friendship Foundation for Peace and Development, and Chairman Hu, the Chairman of the United Nations Industrial Development Organisation (UNIDO).

Amongst those who will be greeting the delegation are Thanet District Council's Deputy Leader, Cllr. Roger Latchford, Chief Executive Richard Samuel and the Mayors of Margate, Broadstairs and Ramsgate.

£38,786.29 The Pair!

And a right pair they are too, if you ask me. Yes, £38,786.29 is the amount claimed by Sandy Beach and Deputy Rodge from the council in expenses last year. Just imagine how many wheelie bins we could have had for that. And the wheelie bins would almost certainly have done a better job!

It's quite incredible that the Tory leader and deputy leader could rack up nearly £40K in the pursuit of pottering around our lovely island (because, of course, as we all know following last year's Tesco bag revelations, their sightseeing jaunts to more exotic climes like China tend to be freebies from local developers). But there it is.

Our councillor's expenses were published by TDC in the Thanet Extra classifieds last week, but not in any other papers I clapped my minces on. So in the interest of public interest, here's the list in full (click the image to enlarge):

Expenses

Sitting here diddling filling out my expenses for Smell the Profit, I thought I'd see if I could pick up any tips from my local MPs. As you probably know, our democratic representatives' claims were published online today, but with all the juicy bits censored.

Now, this is not meant in any way to be a slur on Dr Ladyman or Sir Roger, both of whom are generally regarded as good constituency MPs. Yes, Roger does have some bonkers idea about building a train station at Manston to serve fewer than 12,000 passengers a year. And then there was that iffy £25K donation from the China Gateway people to Ladychap's South Thanet Labour lot. But nobody's perfect (present company excepted).

A quick trawl through the Gale books elicited piles of bills for BT, Vodafone, postage, food... all the usual stuff really. I'm not sure I'd be able to get away with fitted bedroom wardrobes, though, or nearly £3,000 for a website. Let alone £300 for the annual use of Birchington Methodist Church's car park and £60 for advertising in the local parish magazine. And £340 for a bust dunnie. Still, it's my £137,337 and he can do what he likes with it I suppose.

Moving on to Our Steve, he frequently tells us he publishes his expenses on his website, although I'm buggered if I could find them there earlier. His 2007-8 claims also cover the normal-for-an-MP costs like, er, mortgage, utilities, council tax, insurance and publicity, including £300 for a half page appearance in Ramsgate FC's footie programmes. Indeed, he seems to have spent a remarkably similar amount to Roger - £137,559. If I was a cynical sort, I might even imagine these MP chaps were putting in claims based on some kind of mythical annual 'allowance' rather than actual expenditure. A monthly claim for precisely 250 quidsworth of petty cash from Steve does nothing to dispel that notion.

Hmm. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stiff the Polish Cheese Board with any of that lot. But then the old Eastcliff fridge is currently stocked to the rafters with Oscypek so there's always a silver, if somewhat whiffy, lining!

Roger's expenses
Steve's expenses

Thanet Gets UN Aid

Leafing through the latest edition of Property Week, I came across an item headed: 'Commercial Group Properties plans 'China Gateway' conference centre in Kent'. Here's the first par:

Commercial Group Properties has signed a memorandum of understanding with the United Nations Industrial Development Organization (UNIDO) to set up a joint venture to construct, fund and let an exhibition and conference centre at Manston Business Park in Manston, Kent.

The article goes on to explain that 'the exhibition centre, which will also include an ‘industrial hub’ building, that is designed to encompass a very wide range of activities, businesses, organizations, and ‘cultural and visionary entrepreneurial concepts’. Yes, not very well written, I know, but presumably the thumb-texting sprog who wrote this is barely familiar with vowels, let alone grammar. Anyway, there's more:

The centre will, in particular through representation of various Chinese organizations, promote ‘Chinese business in all its myriad guises’ to a UK and EU clientele. It will also promote Chinese arts and culture, Chinese tourism and natural beauty; and the benefits of investment into China. The centre will be managed, promoted, developed and maintained by Commercial Group Properties or a subsidiary or nominated company. It said that Chinese organizations will have the benefit of the exhibition, conference, meeting and office facilities within the centre.

Commercial Group Properties said it is anticipated that Chinese provinces and cities will be able to secure seats in the centre and which will entitle them to use of those seats for specific periods each year.

All sounds pretty UN-inspired to me!

Property Week
UNIDO in Wikipedia
UNIDO website

Wen Will We See You Again?

With Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao spending three days in Blighty this week, I was rather expecting him to pay a ceremonial visit to Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula. After all, he's here to promote trade with China, and here we are - 'The Home of Chinese Globalisation'.

But no. Alas, Thanet has been snubbed. Perhaps the TDC cufflinks, glass paperweights with Thanet scene at bottom and Turner picture enlarged as a scroll of Margate seafront weren't enough to tempt him after all!

Click here to read about warm welcome for Wen on BBC News website

Srippery Srope

Holy helter-skelters! My thanks to reader Sally who points out that you can now buy shares in CGP, the company that brought you China Gateway, for 7.5p! That means that, as of today, you'd need five CGP shares to purchase a small packet of crisps.

The graph shows how the price has plumetted since CGP was launched on the AIM stock market back in February 2007. The red line at the bottom represents how the FTSE 350 has performed over the same period. At one point the shares were trading at more than £3.40, meaning they're now worth little more than 2% of what they were in their heyday.

At this rate I'm going to have to downgrade Thanet squillionaire Ken Wills, who's the brains behind the business, to a mere millionaire!