Beau Diddley

Cripes! Look what's just plopped into my box! A letter from Dr Beau Webber, Roger Gale's Manston mouthpiece, to the new majority owners of the former airport!

Dr Beau is, er, far from congratulatory. In fact, if you ask me, his tone is slightly menacing. But that's just what you'd expect from a campaign that hasn't exactly held back from using personal threats by its henchmen against anyone who dares to utter an alternative view.

Anyhoo, take a gander and make up your own mind (click on the pics to big 'em). I couldn't possibly comment, considering the restraining order I'm under... but I'm sure you lot will! Pip pip!

Annie Get Your Gloags

It can't have escaped your attention, dear reader, that there was an article in The Observer at the weekend questioning Ann Gloag's intentions over our dearly beloved former RAF London Kent Manston Margate Tracey Emin Chas 'n' Dave Maggie Thatcher Schipol Skyport Poundland International Airport.

You can read the Observer piece by clicking here.

The story was written by The Observer's Jamie Doward, who, I can reveal, lives in Whitstable. It seemed to be based on a single source - Cllr Simon Moores, friend of Sir Roger Gale and one of the island's high profile pro-Manston campaigners. Doward had previously written a positive piece about Simes being questioned under caution concerning the ongoing social media kerfuffle here on the island, so you can imagine why Simes would view the Observer hack as his new best chum.

And indeed, the Manston article did seem very pro-Manston, despite an unnamed source at the end (clearly Cllr Biggles) admitting that Thanet Council wouldn't have the dosh to take Ann Gloag all the way through the CPO process. It also perpetuated a number of Wiki-myths about the airport, such as it 'was designated as an emergency landing strip for the space shuttle', 'building homes on a graveyard has appalled some local people', not to mention leaving out the fact that it was losing £10K a day.

Would it be too much of a, er, flight of fancy to suggest that Doward's poorly researched article was motivated more by a desire to keep planes from flying over Whitstable if Boris Island was built? Perhaps, like the Save Manston Campaign which, I understand, has been hijacked by Rochester-based anti-Boris Island protesters, he needs to stop letting personal nimbyism get in the way of the facts. Kuh!

Meanwhile here's some more baloney about Manston by a fag-puffing dipsomaniac from West Kent who's been in the news recently...

Three In The Bed, And The Little One Said...

Unholy alliances! It seems that Thanet's two Tory MPs have now jumped into bed with our beloved council's new Labour leader to form a threesome aimed at compulsorily purchasing defunct Manston airport!

Quite how Sir Roger Wind managed to seduce lovely Laura and, er, Labour Iris into taking part in his fantasy, lord knows! Although as you can see from my montage, he was a bit of a charmer back in the day (1943). It's also beyond the wit of any ordinary person to imagine why a Thatchersaurus like Sir Rog is willing to pour oodles and squoodles of public money into what is not much more than a hole in the ground.

And as usual, poor old Windy has got his facts wrong. There is no planning permission for an airport at Manston. Never has been. Unless Iris, who was apparently on the blower to the site's owner last night, has offered to deliver one in the post.

Furthermore, as I understand it, a CPO has to be demonstrably in the public interest. There is no public interest issue at stake here. None of the higher-ups that Windy has been appealing to have shown any desire to keep Manston as an airport in the 'public interest'. Au contraire, they have tried to educate him about the commercial realities of 21st century Britain, rather than the Dambusters dream world that exists between his ears. Ann Gloag's commercial lawyers would make mincemeat of a CPO, and charge us poor council taxpayers a few Bentleys for the pleasure of doing so.

As for the failed bidders having 'every chance of succeeding', well that's just plain laughable. A consortium composed of asset-strippers, people who have failed twice before to make a go of Manston, and some chap the High Court has labelled a dodgy geezer, offering a miniscule percentage of what the place is worth as a development site, does not constitute a viable alternative.

Anyways, here's Windy's statement in full...

North Thanet`s MP, Sir Roger Gale, is supporting  calls for the compulsory purchase, by Thanet District Council, of Manston Airport.

Speaking following a weekend of discussions with local and national political leaders Sir Roger has said:

'Laura Sandys and I are of the view, which I have reason to understand  is shared by the new Labour Leadership of Thanet District Council and by the Conservative Opposition, that with the closure of the airfield the best way to secure a new future for aviation at Manston will be for a Compulsory Purchase Order to be placed upon the site which has, at present, planning consent only as an airport. This is detailed in the very recent draft of the local plan so there should be little difficulty in establishing existing use and thus for the local authority to acquire and then perhaps lease out or sell on the site at a sensible price.

'Clearly the Council will wish to prepare its own study of options based upon legal advice but the opinion that we have been offered is that a bid to place a CPO on the airfield would succeed and that it could be readily funded. If that is so then it ought to be possible to remove the airport from the hands of those who clearly have other objectives and to restore Manston to its rightful place as part of our airport capacity in the South East.

'From the work that has already been done we have good reason to believe that those who wish to re-open the airport and have the capacity to do so have every chance of succeeding where others have seemingly chosen to fail and we hope and expect that TDC`s senior officers, acting on instructions from elected Members, will take a very robust line.

We have to dispel the impression given, arising from discussions that apparently took place with TDC officers earlier in the year, that housing is a “done deal” and that anything other than airport use is on the agenda. As Iris Johnston has made publicly clear, it is not'.

That Rejected Airport Bid In Full

Just How Naive Is Roger Gale?

In just a couple of hours' time, Thanet North's Tory MP Sir Roger Gale will step up to the parliamentary plate for an adjournment debate in the House of Commons on Manston Airport.

Whether there'll be more than one man and a dog listening is less than certain. In fact Sir Rodge may find himself talking to thin air, as I'm not sure David Blunkett counts saving money pit airports as one of his priorities.

Looking increasingly like Neville Chamberlain waving around worthless bits of paper whilst standing next to a plane, Roger's latest mutterings during the 'packed' meeting of 300 airport supporters at Margate's Winter Gardens on Saturday saw him make this statement: 'Half an hour ago, I held in my hand a letter from a significant potential investor, who I am satisfied - and I may be naive - has the money to make the bid.'

The key word there is 'naive'. Yes, Roger, you may well be naive, if your unwitting advocacy on behalf of a bunch of Thanet VAT fraudsters who have just been thrown into prison for a total of 27 years is anything to go by.

For this, dear reader, is where it gets interesting. In 2006 Sir Wind was standing up in parliament asking this question, according to Hansard: 'To ask the Chancellor of the Exchequer when HM Revenue and Customs expect to be in a position to repay the sums owing to Amber Communications Management Ltd. of Margate.'

To which Dawn Primarola, then Paymaster General, responded: 'Section 18 of the Commissioners for Revenue and Customs Act 2005 does not permit HM Revenue and Customs to disclose information relating to the tax affairs of individual taxpayers.'

Fast forward to 2014, and it appears that Amber Communications Management Ltd. of Margate was nothing other than a vehicle for a colossal VAT carousel fraud based around mobile phones, which ended up costing the public purse some £27m. It was such a whopper that HMRC even gave the investigation its own handle - 'Operation Chert'. You can read the full report in GoMoNews by clicking here.

Now of course nobody in their right legal mind, least of all little old me, is suggesting that Windy was in cahoots with these fraudsters. Far from it. Everyone agrees that Roger is a fab constituency MP, and he was probably just doing what he thought was best for his constituents.

But without a due diligence check or two? P..l...eeeeeeeeze! He's been an MP around here for 30 years, you would have at least thought he might have wondered why he hadn't heard of this amazing, hi-tech Thanet business that was turning over millions and was 'owed' significant sums by HMRC, wouldn't you?

Meanwhile Ann Gloag, the airport's Scottish squillionaire owner, is apparently so on tippy-toes to receive Roger's next piece of paper that she's taken leave in Africa to spend time with her charities. Nuff said.

Click here to vote on Save Manston blog against overturning the night flight ban

Terminal Decline

Holy airports! With just 24 hours to go until the big 'Save Manston' meeting over on the seedier north side of the island, news that he's a 'confirmed guest' appears to have come as, well, news to Councillor Biggles, the island's self-styled resident expert on all things aviation.

In response to a story in The Gazunder alleging that he'd be attending along with usual suspects Sir Roger Gale MP and Laura Sandys MP, Simes sent this rather sharp tweet back to the hacks: 'I have not confirmed anything other than I am working on Saturday!!'

In all likelihood he'll be up in his teeny-tiny plane, hand on joystick, tugging a banner over Old Trafford. Which seems to be his regular gig these days.

Hey-ho. Support for the 'Save Manston' campaign has hardly set the tarmac on fire. I've seen only one 'Keep Calm and Save Manston' poster displayed on the island (in Westgate, natch!), and the mini-mob in the photo seems to be composed of a few old gippers and some embarrassed children who've been dragged along by their grandparents. Do they really think they're going to fill the Winter Gardens? I expect some of you will tell me tomorrow!

Meanwhile it's been revealed via one of those Freedom of Information thingies that Kent County Council couldn't be arsed to even look at the legals when the current owner, Scottish squillionaire Ann Gloag, bought the place for a quid off Infratil last year. Neither, indeed, did KCC's Tory leader Paul Carter, aka Sir Paul Ruddyfaced-Man. And they're not even bovvered about casting their glass eye over any of Sir Rog's current 'negotiations'. Here's what KCC's FOI response says:

I can confirm that neither Mr Paul Carter, nor any officer of Kent County Council (KCC) holds any information relating to the Heads of Terms or the sale by Infratil of Manston Airport. Also, neither Mr Carter nor any officers of KCC were they shown any Heads of Terms either by the buyer or the seller or any third party. Furthermore, KCC holds no information on how many and which businesses who asked for the closure of the airport were prevented from taking it over and in response to your third question relating to negotiations reported in the media, KCC holds no information that you requested. KCC has not been and is not a party to any of these negotiations.

Which is quite surprising really, given the kerfuffle KCC and Sir PR-M have made about Manston. What with their talk about a new railway station, planes 'flying straight out to sea', 'longest runway in Britain', and the like. Not to mention all the lovely taxpayers' lolly they've lavished on it over the years.

The words 'washing', 'their' and 'hands of it' spring to mind. You do have to wonder whether they were just using the place as a stalking horse to chase off Boris Island, thus keeping their lovely, northwest Kent cottages nice and peaceful at night.

Needless to say, Paul Carter, like Biggles, is not a 'confirmed guest' for tomorrow's meeting. Happy landings!!

Smokin' Future For Manston?

The results of my big poll on the future of Manston are in! And the winner is.... well, it's a dead heat actually.

Asked what you thought RAF London Kent Manston Etc Airport should become now that its days as a runway are rapidly coming to a close, 22% of you went for 'leisure', while another 22% of you opted for a '700 acre cannabis farm'. Hmm. I suppose the two aren't incompatible. And when you add in the 15% who wanted the airport to be returned to agriculture, I think we have a pretty darn good consensus!

That should please Councillor Ian Driver, our appropriately Green local representative who is campaigning for a cannabis caff to open up on Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula. I mean, cripes! With 700 acres of the stuff on his doorstep, he could open up a cannabis superstore!! Here are the results in full:

Question: What future for Manston?

700 acre cannabis farm: 22% (32 votes)
Leisure: 22% (32 votes)
Renewable energy: 16% (23 votes)
Agriculture: 15% (22 votes)
Housing: 12% (17 votes)
Industry: 10% (14 votes)

Personally I would have voted for renewable energy, which came in third. But then, what do I know? Well, what I do know is that it will almost certainly become a mammoth housing estate, which came in second to last.

Meanwhile airport champion Sir Roger Guff has been meeting with airport owner Annie Get Your Gloags today in a bid to save the place. Initial reports are that Sir Rodge has said there is no offer on the table. Believe me, Rodge, there's not only no offer, there's no table, no chairs, not even a room to put them in.

Still, one cloud hanging over the future of the airport as a non-airport, which may in the end prove to be the ace up Roger's hole, is the very well-founded rumour amongst the fly boys that there are unexploded pipe bombs on the site, left over from the war. But then again, if they've been landing planes on them for decades, I can't see it's much of an argument really. Anyone for a housing boom?!?! (Geddit??!!!!!??!?!?!)

Unhappy Landings

In Memoriam 
RAF London Kent Manston
Margate Tracey Emin
Chas 'n' Dave Maggie Thatcher
Schipol Skyport Poundland
International Airport

So farewell
Then, RAF London
Kent Manston
Margate Tracey Emin
Chas 'n' Dave
Maggie Thatcher
Schipol Skyport
Poundland
International Airport.

You had the
Longest runway
In Britain
According to
Roger Gale MP.

And planes flew
'Straight out to sea'
According to
Paul Carter
Leader of
Kent County Council.

None of which
Was true.

You were supposed
To create
'10,000 jobs'.
That wasn't true either.

Now you have gone
To that great
Airport in the sky.

E. C. Richard (29)

Click here to read more about airport consortium pulling out on KM website.

Gale Warning

Cripes! I would sooooo like to turn this into a caption competition, but my wolf pack of highly trained legal beagles have advised against it. Hey-ho.

With the St Jude storm about to hit our septic isle and mash everything to a gelatinous pulp, one of my correspondents has alerted me to another blast of dreadful wind which emanated from Sir Roger Gale, Member of Parliament for Fannit Norf since 1874, in the House of Commons this week.

As usual, Sir Rodge was guffing on about the airport in his customary, swivel-eyed manner (anyone recall his plan to turn Manston into the London Olympics Airport? Nope, nobody does, as it never happened.) Here's the entire text of his latest meanderings from Hansard:

I am delighted to see you in the Chair this afternoon, Madam Deputy Speaker. I am grateful to the hon. Member for Liverpool, Riverside (Mrs Ellman) for generating the opportunity for us to debate something of absolute national importance. Finally, I am pleased to see my hon. Friend the Minister on the Front Bench and welcome him to his new job. I look forward to welcoming him to Kent in the not-too-distant future - he does not know that, but it is going to happen.

I do not want to rerun yesterday's debate either, but during the debate on air passenger duty, the hon. Member for Blackley and Broughton (Graham Stringer) referred to the loss of business to Schiphol and Charles de Gaulle - he might have added Frankfurt - and several other locations in Europe. This is crucial for the economy of the UK. We cannot gainsay the fact that the economic hub of the nation is in London. There is much good business in Manchester, Birmingham and Scotland, but the place that people have got used to interlining through, and therefore also doing business in, is London.

Frequently people just change planes, but equally frequently they stop over. Because they are coming through London, they take the opportunity to take in a show or do business in the City of London. It is not just the thousands of jobs at Heathrow or Gatwick that are at stake and which we could lose to mainland Europe; this is about all the other, ancillary jobs, and the tourism and business that go with them. The cost to the country from the loss of aviation business in the south-east to mainland Europe is almost inestimable.

A long time ago, I upset my right hon. Friend the Member for Saffron Walden (Sir Alan Haselhurst) when I championed the cause of the airport at Stansted. I remember saying then, "It's not Heathrow or Stansted; it's Stansted or Schiphol." That is even truer today than it was then. If I need to underscore that point, KLM Royal Dutch Airlines and Air France are now flying from Manston, in Kent, twice daily to Schiphol, as they are from a number of other regional airports. They are not doing that for fun; they are doing it because they can see there is business to be taken, from the south-east of England in particular, to Schiphol to interline and to go on to all the other places in the world - literally, anywhere that it is possible to fly to from Schiphol. We cannot afford to sacrifice that business.

This debate is about aviation strategy, but my worry is that there is no aviation strategy. There is a commission, and Sir Howard Davies will do his job and report by 2015. Then there will be a debate and more discussion, and there will not be another strip of tarmac or another building, or a Boris island, for 20 years. That is how long it will take. We are losing business today - not tomorrow, in a year's time or in five years' time, but today. As we speak, business is transferring from the United Kingdom to the mainland European airports. We cannot afford to sustain that loss.

On the doorstep of London there is a place called Manston, in Kent. It has the fourth longest runway in the country - it has taken Concorde and wide-body jets - and it is available now. I am not suggesting for one moment that Manston could or should be another London airport, but I believe it could have a major role to play. In, I think, 2005 - I stand to be corrected - the right hon. Member for Edinburgh South West (Mr Darling) published his White Paper on the future of aviation in the south-east, but since then nothing at all has happened in any meaningful or constructive form, apart from perhaps another terminal at Heathrow. I put it to him at the time that Manston was available, and I was told, "No, it's too far from London" - 76 miles.

Let us think about that. Manston is quite a long way - it is further than Gatwick and Heathrow. Actually, it is not, at least not in time. I hope we will eventually finish High Speed 1- my hon. Friend the Minister might have a hand in that. Indeed, I have travelled on the existing line, with old rolling stock, in under an hour from central London to Manston, and if that was possible then, with High Speed 1, it is even more possible today. We can get the journey time down to about 50 minutes. It takes more than 50 minutes to get from central London to Heathrow and almost as long to get to Gatwick. Therefore, in terms of time rather than distance, which is what matters to the traveller, Manston is viable.

So what do we have? We have an airport sitting in Kent, out on the peninsular, relatively out of harm's way in terms of overflying, available today and under new ownership - Manston was sold and bought last week. Its future was in a bit of doubt because it was on the market, but it has now been bought, so it is secure, at least for the foreseeable future. Manston is there and I say to my hon. Friend the Minister and the House that we have to buy time if we are not going to lose more jobs. Manston is never going to be another London airport. What Manston can do is take traffic from Gatwick to release capacity, allow Gatwick to take traffic from Heathrow and free up the capacity there, which is what we need in the short term while the Government take long-term decisions. Manston is a national asset - not a regional or local asset - and we need to use it now. This country cannot afford to waste it.

If you haven't died from a boredom-induced stroke (quite how Our Roger kept the bright young things tuned in during his stint as a pirate DJ in the 60s is beyond me!), you'll have seen that he perpetuates one or two inaccuracies there. Did you spot them? No?

Well how about '(Manston is) relatively out of harm's way in terms of overflying'? Oh well, perhaps geography isn't his strong point. 'Is secure for the foreseeable future'? Business and commerce not a strong point either, clearly. Unless by 'foreseeable future' he means the end of next month.

'Fourth longest runway in the country?' Er, it's the 14th longest, actually.

No wonder the bigwigs in That London don't take Sir Roger seriously. They've twigged he's about as reliable as Michael Fish!

Speaking of which, I'd better tool off and batten down the hatches here at the old cliff top mansion. Let's hope nothing blows off during the night!!

Breaking News - Manston Sold For A Song

As recently predicted here on the big blog, RAF London Kent Manston Margate Tracey Emin Maggie Thatcher Schipol International Airport has been sold by its Kiwi owners Infartil - for a quid!

The new owners, who made their millions by founding the Stagecoach transport empire, seem more likely to be more interested in buses than planes.

Thanet North MP Sir Roger Wind has trotted out the same trite statement welcoming the new owners that he's trotted out for the previous two, neither of whom could make a go of the place, viz: 'We now have a company taking over the airport that recognises its potential.'

Talk about flogging a dead duck!

Click here for more info on the BBC News website.

Wind On Radio

I'm not usually up this early on a Saturday. But as I was snoozing under the Hungarian goose down doona, drifting in and out of consciousness to the tones of the Today programme on Radio 4, an item came on which caused the old shell-likes to prick up.

Booming out of the B&O was our very own Tory MP for Fannit Norf, Sir Roger Wind!

Roger, if you recall, recently made a successful claim to recoup more than £2K in expenses which he'd been told to repay by the Troughsniffer General, Sir Thomas Legg. The, er, 'idea' of the radio item was to gauge the mood of the angry mob in his constituency. Of course, once the reporter discovered that 68% of his constituency are over 90 and would vote for a small piece of cheese as long as it was blue, it was game over. Despite a plucky attempt by the lovely editor of the Gazunder to waft letters of complaint under our intrepid's nose, the vox pops said it all. 'Roger? Nah, he's a lovely bloke!' 'Expenses? Piss off back to that London, you pinko liberal twot!'

What never ceases to amaze me is that even Labour and Liberalites on the seedy north side of the island privately stick up for Roger on the basis that he's a 'good constituency MP'. When you ask why, if that's the case, his constituency has crumbled and burnt to the ground in the 27 years he's been presiding over it, they often mutter something about his passionate concern for animals (but not humans, as he wants to execute those), or the fact that their Auntie Gladys got a Christmas card from him once.

Perhaps the Today reporter could have opened her eyes, taken a look around, and asked the question why he's been claiming exes at all, seeing as Margate has gone to the dogs (Newfoundlands, of course) under his stewardship. But then Radio 4 and BBC reporting in general is just a shadow of what it was when Roger was producing the Today programme. Or that's what they say in Margate, anyway!

Click here for today's Today on BBC iPlayer. Roger's at 1:44.30.

Pig's Ear, And A Snout In The Trough

As you know, I am no fan of the local Blue Rinsers. Or, indeed, that bum-faced old Etonian who heads up the Tories at a national level.

So two causes for celebration this week. First, the 'news', as brought to you by the Blue Rinse candidate for Thanet South, that 'the life saving air sea rescue service based at Manston is set to be relocated to the Midlands at the end of this month.' Er, 'what air sea rescue service based at Manston?', you may ask. Clearly, however, that was not a question the intrepid reporter at yourfannitinnit could be bothered with.

And this afternoon came the news that Sir Roger Wind, Tory MP for North Thanet since 1876, is appealing against being told to hand back £2,100 in expenses claimed against mobile phone bills, plus another £400 in rent. Sir Rodge says they were 'entirely proper'. As ever, he entirely misses the point. Which is not that he could claim them, but whether it is 'entirely proper' that he should.

While the gruesome Tory twosome have been busy shooting themselves in the feet, the caff-crushing, car-crushing Mayor of Ramsgate, Councillor Green of the Red Party, has announced he is perfectly happy to have his allowance slashed by a third and set an example in these tough financial times. Good on yer, Dave!

Click here to see how in touch Laura Sandys is with her 'constituency'
Click here to read about Roger's Gale's piles
Click here to read about the Mayor of Ramsgate taking a slash

Margate Mauled In The Guardian

Cripes! It's been a bad couple of days for our septic isle! On Saturday, a restaurant review in the Independent described Ramsgate as 'blighted'. Today it's Margate's turn to get kicked in the proverbials by the Guardian.

Writing about his quest to find the muse of T S Eliot in the Nayland Rock shelter, which was recently listed by English Heritage for being the place where the poet wrote part of his epic The Waste Land, Stephen Moss writes:

I had hoped that coming here to pay homage might move me to write my own state-of-the-nation epic as part of my stuttering campaign to be Oxford professor of poetry. But the words will not come. It doesn't help that I had three pints of Kronenbourg in a forlorn bar on the front last night, and that my head is spinning. The cars on the roundabout next to the shelter sound like . . . damn, I can't even manage a simile in my befuddled state.

Perhaps I can blame the town itself rather than the lager? Almost every shop on the front is boarded up; even the potentially inspiring store selling racy lingerie is closed; and Dreamland, the town's nightmarish leisure park, is derelict. Margate desperately needs a new attraction, and this shelter could surely be it. I can see it now: the Eliot Trail, Waste Land Walks, the Ezra Pound Shop. I may not have written a poem, but I think I have the makings of an urban regeneration plan.

Mind you, he's got a point. Perhaps he should ask Margate's Tory MP Roger Gale, who's presided over more than 25 years of dereliction in the town, what he's done to improve things? After all, him and his missus seem to be getting no end of publicity now that her £40K a year job as his secretary might be at stake. Has he ever put the same effort into hauling his constituency off its knees? I think not!

Click here to read full story in the Grauniad
Margate's Turner Centre on tonight's Inside Out (BBC1, 7:30pm)

North Thanet MP Plans Wife Swap

This article in yesterday's Mail on Sunday caught my eye. Apparently Roger Gale, the Conservative MP for North Thanet, is planning to swap his wife with another MP's to get around the new rules that ban family members from working for right honourable members. Here's an extract:

'It's ironic you can shack up with an MP, but if you are married to him or have a civil partnership you get the sack,' says Suzy Gale, who licks envelopes for her husband, Roger Gale, Tory MP for Thanet.

I presume, as well as a long, licky tongue, that a good bark, a wet nose and a propensity for scraping your arse along the living room carpet are also prerequisites for the post, Suzy. On no, haha, my mistake, Suzy's the one on the left! Sxx.

Click here to read more in the Mail on Sunday

Blowing A Gale Part Trois

The story so far... Hufty-tufty Thanet Tory MP Sir Roger Wind has distributed an email complaining at the cheek of the local blue-top in questioning his expenses. After a bit of an old moan, the former Radio Caroline DJ and BBC producer's blistering missive reproduces the impertinent questions the hack asked (see previous two items). Now read on...

Domestic Costs

After seventeen years the furnishings, provided at my own expense, in the London accommodation that I was occupying at the time had become dilapidated. When, in 2004, I determined that I would fight the 2005, 2010 and, probably, further general elections I sought pre-approval from the House of Commons fees office to purchase replacements. The cost of £509 for redecoration, which does not include materials, was considered reasonable as were the other items listed. The total cost averaged out at about £150 per year. This claim has subsequently been examined, along with all other Additional Costs claims, by the Conservative Party`s Scrutiny Panel and I have been requested to make no repayments.

The Isle of Thanet Gazette is wholly aware of the circumstances surrounding the purchase of a television set for professional use. Its sister paper, the Thanet Times, recently ran a plagiarised version of a story published in the Herne Bay Times which was itself lifted from a 'Gale's View' that I wrote for the Herne Bay Gazette and the Thanet Extra in July 2008! That column has been posted on my website ever since - as the Gazette knows full well. The bottom line is that following the demise of my 15-year old, analogue TV, I again sought advance authority to purchase a new TV set in a Comet Warehouse (Margate) sale. The price was 50% lower than the cost of hiring an equivalent set over a six-year (two years remaining of the current parliament and potentially four of the next) period. It was approved as value for money and also cleared by the Scrutiny Panel.

Following a car accident that left her wheelchair-bound for two months, my wife and I decided that I would move from a basement flat (down some steep steps) to the room that I now occupy when in London. In order to make this viable certain adaptations were necessary and these one-off costs were again approved by the Fees Office and have also subsequently been cleared by the Scrutiny Panel.

My Additional Costs claims for rental, utilities and sundries are now amongst the lowest for Members representing out-of-London constituencies and, when the 2008/2009 figures are published will be revealed to be below £6,000 out of a potential £23,000.

Office Costs

The 4,000 posters purchased in 2005 were for 'advice surgery' advertising. These are provided, at the rate of about 1000 a year, to voluntary groups, doctors’ surgeries and dentists, schools, hospitals, businesses and other outlets for notice board use.

Had the Gazette taken the trouble to check the claims more thoroughly they would have learned that I did not pay '£50 to become a Friend of Herne Bay Festival' but bought a £50 advice surgery advertisement in the festival programme. I have also purchased similar space in parish magazines and other such outlets and find it a cost-effective way of reaching my constituents and informing them of the services that we offer.

I regard the money spent maintaining my website as also cost-effective. Not only does it allow me to post press releases, photographs and other information (such as this) that might otherwise be ignored or edited by the local press but, judging by the number of requests for assistance that I receive via the website it helps many people to make contact with me when they most need help.

The computer and broadband costs referred to are in excess of the three office computers installed in my main parliamentary office in Birchington and enable me to access my full office records from the office in my home at any hour of the day or night. It may surprise the Isle of Thanet Gazette to know that many Members of Parliament work what is, effectively, a seven-day week.

The £130 Olympus digital camera and memory card were purchased, with advance approval, for office use. This is not a 'top of the range' camera but represented, at the time of purchase, the best value for money to generate press-quality pictures. We have found that local papers, including the Isle of Thanet Gazette and the Thanet Times, are frequently unable to send reporters and photographers to cover local events (and in my case sometimes parliamentary duties with the armed forces, police or overseas) and have been grateful to receive the pictures and copy that we supply to them free of charge.

The Isle of Thanet Gazette may again be astonished to learn that we deal with a large volume of correspondence. All of my mail and most of my e-mails are opened by me, personally (I arrive in my office at 06.45 and my wife, who runs my parliamentary office, is ordinarily at her desk before 07.00), processed by me and sent by express delivery to Birchington for typing and onward transmission.

We have large numbers of constituents who either cannot afford or do not choose to use e-mail and therefore deal with most post by letter. We are currently turning around between a hundred and a hundred and fifty communications a day and, although we do not always succeed, we try to respond to enquiries within 48 hours.

I am fortunate to have the services of two excellent and dedicated audio typists. After fifteen years one of our Dictaphone systems became unfit for purpose, inefficient and, potentially, a hazard to aural health. I believe that my team have a right to decent office equipment and this machine was replaced. I also bulk-purchased a supply of dictation cassettes to get best value for money: at any one time we may well have six tapes in circulation and although these are re-used they do, of course, wear out and become inaudible after excessive use.

I frankly do not think that it is up to the Isle of Thanet Gazette to try to tell me, or my staff, how to run our office or what equipment we should use. We do, of course, receive complaints from time to time but the general level of customer satisfaction with the speed and efficiency of our handling of constituency casework is amongst the best. (Source: theyworkforyou.com)

My office, like most businesses, uses pens! The special-offer purchase of 100 Regal pens (the 'gift boxes', cardboard containers, were thrown in free) represented good value for money, last longer than slightly cheaper throw-away items and we still have a good supply of them for necessary future use.

Standards of journalism

As a pedant with the glimmerings of a classical education I sometimes use long words. My staff are diligent and we take trouble to try to ensure that our correspondence is literate and grammatically correct, that the right words are employed for the right purposes and that the spelling is checked. We do not always succeed but our standards are high and the office copy of the Oxford English Dictionary assists this process.

Had the Isle of Thanet Gazette staff scrutinised my published claim form properly they might have been better informed. In their eagerness to imply that I have used expenses to buy Rutherfurd`s (excellent) novels for personal use they have clearly looked at the receipt for the dictionary which contains, also, these three books that were bought at the same time. An elementary study of the supporting form shows, however, that only the dictionary was claimed for.

If my constituents believe that I have been either excessive or improper in my use of what we consistently recognise is their taxpayer`s money then they will no doubt tell me so in the usual manner.

Here endeth the email.

Blowing A Gale Part Deux

Here's the next, um, thrilling instalment of that Roger Gale email! After banging on about 'probity' and responsible journalism (see item below - I mean, how dare a journalist be so impudent as to question a member's expenses!), Rodge regurgitates the email he has received from the Gazunder hack asking for clarification on some of the items he's claimed for. Here it is:

To: GALE, Roger
Subject: Expenses

Following parliament publishing MPs expenses last week we have trawled through MPs expenses and wondered if you could explain your reasons for purchasing the following items/services:

What were the 4,000 A4 posters in March 2005 for?
Is £358 a year for your website worth the money?
Why did you spend £97 on 100 Regal pens and 100 gift boxes?

Taxpayers might be interested in your reasons for spending money on the following items…

£365 on a dictation machine then following year spent £104 on cassettes
£695 on bedroom furniture
£125 on towels and bedding
£509 on decorators
£875 on a new computer system
Books - The Forest by Edward Rutherfurd , Sarum by Edward Rutherfurd, Russka by Edward Rutherfurd - 7.99 each
Oxford dictionary £36
£129.99 on a silver Olympus camera + £34.99 on a memory card
£63 in 2006 on curtains re-tailored
£549.99 on a 26" Phillips TV
£1,700 for plumbing, electrical, redecoration and installation of handrail September 2007
£50 to become a friend of the Herne Bay festival

I wondered why you went for a tape Dictaphone over a hard-drive based one? As it means extra expense on tapes?
Did you need the new bedroom furniture as your home was empty?
Why did you claim for the books you purchased?
Why did you become a friend of the Herne Bay festival and then claim it back?
How do you go about getting the best value when it comes to technology, for example £550 for a TV, £875 on a computer?

We’re running the story in this week’s Gazette.

Isle of Thanet Gazette, Thanet Times and Thanet Adscene
Suite 1, Third Floor, Mill Lane House, Mill Lane, Margate, Kent.
CT9 1JU
Phone- 01843 578152

Tomorrow - what Roger said next!

Gale Blasts Gazunder Over Expenses Story

Holy claim sheets! It appears our Tory MP for Norf Fannit has got the right royal hump with the Gazunder over its MPs' expenses story last week. A Sarf Fannit reader who wishes to remain anonymous has sent me an email that Rodge seems to be circulating. It begins:

I have received, from a reporter acting on behalf of the editor of the Isle of Thanet Gazette, the following e-mail. My response is published beneath the e-mail and I leave it to my constituents to judge both the probity of my own actions and the probity and motives of what has hitherto been regarded as a responsible local newspaper.

For my own part I am saddened by both the tone of this approach and by the fact that the newspaper has failed to properly check its questions and assertions against facts that are in the public domain.

I regard with disdain the threat implied in the statement: 'We`re running the story in this week's Gazette'.

Roger Gale MP
House of Commons,
25th June 2009

There's loads more, including a long list of queried expenses from the Gazunder, and Sir Roger Wind's blustery riposte. But rather than bore you to distraction in one go, I'll publish it as a partwork over the next day or two. Once you've collected all of them, there's a free duck island on offer!

Expenses

Sitting here diddling filling out my expenses for Smell the Profit, I thought I'd see if I could pick up any tips from my local MPs. As you probably know, our democratic representatives' claims were published online today, but with all the juicy bits censored.

Now, this is not meant in any way to be a slur on Dr Ladyman or Sir Roger, both of whom are generally regarded as good constituency MPs. Yes, Roger does have some bonkers idea about building a train station at Manston to serve fewer than 12,000 passengers a year. And then there was that iffy £25K donation from the China Gateway people to Ladychap's South Thanet Labour lot. But nobody's perfect (present company excepted).

A quick trawl through the Gale books elicited piles of bills for BT, Vodafone, postage, food... all the usual stuff really. I'm not sure I'd be able to get away with fitted bedroom wardrobes, though, or nearly £3,000 for a website. Let alone £300 for the annual use of Birchington Methodist Church's car park and £60 for advertising in the local parish magazine. And £340 for a bust dunnie. Still, it's my £137,337 and he can do what he likes with it I suppose.

Moving on to Our Steve, he frequently tells us he publishes his expenses on his website, although I'm buggered if I could find them there earlier. His 2007-8 claims also cover the normal-for-an-MP costs like, er, mortgage, utilities, council tax, insurance and publicity, including £300 for a half page appearance in Ramsgate FC's footie programmes. Indeed, he seems to have spent a remarkably similar amount to Roger - £137,559. If I was a cynical sort, I might even imagine these MP chaps were putting in claims based on some kind of mythical annual 'allowance' rather than actual expenditure. A monthly claim for precisely 250 quidsworth of petty cash from Steve does nothing to dispel that notion.

Hmm. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stiff the Polish Cheese Board with any of that lot. But then the old Eastcliff fridge is currently stocked to the rafters with Oscypek so there's always a silver, if somewhat whiffy, lining!

Roger's expenses
Steve's expenses

The Train Corridors Of Power

Photo: Michael's Bookshop

Regular contributor Mr Dickens of Broadstairs writes:

Good morning Dick,

Mrs Dickens of Broadstairs was taking the kids to London for a day trip this morning via Broadstairs station. Who should get on at Margate but Minister for Transport Lord Adonis, who is on a five day journey on the railways to experience travel from the punters' perspective.

His first unpleasant experience, familiar to us all, was being approached by an old nutter who started jabbering on to him about Manston airport. No problem with flights, planes come in over the sea, very little housing blighted etc. The old gipper carried on in this vein, saying that South Eastern railways were reluctant to put in a gateway station from Manston because of their franchise being rather short etc. The earbending continued until the geezer got off at Faversham (probably worried about ticket inspectors) and his Lordship could finally enjoy his latte in peace.

Fortunately the wizened earbender gave away his identity by leaving behind his rolled up copy of Sporting Life with 'R Gale' scrawled in the top left hand corner. I thought they had a large building in London where this sort of thing gets discussed, not a public carriage for all to hear. Perhaps the signs saying 'No personal stereos', 'No feet on the seats' etc could also have an extra line, viz: 'No boomy-voiced local MPs pushing Manston'.

Your rail correspondent, The Fat Controller

Well Mr D of B, it seems Lord Absolutely-Gorgeous had his lughole well and truly chewed off there by Sir Rodge. Shame most of it was probably twaddle!

Lord lords it on the trains in The Times

An Ill Wind

I'm publishing this map for the benefit of the Blue Rinser for Norf Fannit, Sir Roger Wind, who yesterday told the House of Commons this:

Fifty miles from where Boris wants to put his island is Manston. Manston has one of the longest runways in the country, and its take-offs and landings are currently, and will remain, over the sea.

Wrong Rodge! The runway is roughly where I've parked my Bentley Continental Flying Toss on the map above. Presumably you haven't noticed in the 78 years you've been the Horrible Member for Thanet North that there's quite an attractive Victorian seaside town, with reputedly more listed buildings than Bath, before you get to the sea, just to the right of my front bumper. It's called 'Ramsgate'. Or don't you venture down to the Millionaires' Playground that often? Really! First that ruddy-faced man from Kent Council, then the peroxide Mayor of London, and now one of the island's own MPs who should know better!

Sir Wind continued to bluster on in a similar vein:

You'd think that my colleague Mrs. Laura Sandys, who represents the Conservative interest in South Thanet and will, I trust, be its next Member of Parliament, and I oppose the creation of a hub airport—a London airport—at Manston... Yes Roger, I would. I really would! - Ed. However, we believe that as a regional airport Manston has a great deal to offer the south-east, via Gatwick to Heathrow, and to the wider United Kingdom. We see the potential within the next three years for creating London’s Olympic airport. We have the opportunity, if we choose to seize it now — and it must be now — to ring-fence Manston. It is potentially the most secure airfield in the country. It would offer a complete, secure package for the coming and going of all those taking part in the Olympics and those who wish to watch them, and it is on the right side of London.

Olympic Airport? Putting a large fence around it? Has Roger finally lost the plot as well as the map? And would that be the Laura Sandys who goes around telling everyone the island 'has natural beauty, unique architecture and great historical significance. Combine our grand history with our green environment and we can play to our strengths instead of our weaknesses'?

If want to read more of this tosh, click here to go to Hansard