Psychic Dick

Well, I can't delay blowing my own trumpet and showing off my crystal balls any longer.

Yep, you read it here first. On the 18th of November last year to be precise. Our beloved council's' legal beagle Harvey Patterson is off to pastures new.

The story was splashed all over the front of Friday's Isle of Thanet Gazunder. Harvey's departure is part of a shake-up that will see The Duffers' Chief Exec, Dr Sue McGonigal, relinquish some of her power, but not any of her £100K+ per year salary. As I wrote at the time: '(Harvey's departure) could mark the start of an admin shake-up at Duffer Central'. We've yet to be told whether Harve'll be collecting any dosh as he passes 'Go'.

You know, it's hard being so right all the time. But I do it all for you, my dear readers!

Click here to read my exclusive scoop from last November.
Click here to read The Gazunder's story, which came out two months later.

Before They Were Famous

I'm indebted to one of my eagle-eyed readers for this.

A long time ago in the year 2000, in the beautiful Buckinghamshire hills, there was a council. And this council was called Chiltern District Council. Now, the good councillors of CDC wanted to save some money, so they decided to create a trust and hive off their three leisure centres, which meant they could avoid paying business rates. They called their not-for-profit trust the 'Chiltern Leisure Trust', and off it sailed, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Well, not quite.

Four years later, the trust had run up almost £1.2m in debt. More than half of that was owed to the council itself. So the poor councillors were left with no other option than to write the money off. They were very sad, as the amount represented roughly 10% of their council's annual income.

Does that story sound familiar? A little like writing off the £3.4m that Thanet Council idiotically allowed the decrepit TransEuropa Ferries to run up before it went bust?

Well it may not surprise you to learn, then, that one of the directors of Chiltern Leisure Trust was none other than Thanet Council's very own Corporate and Regulatory Services Manager Harvey Patterson, star of my previous post. Not only that, but HP was also Head of Legal Services for CDC during the same period.

So, now you know what Harvey was doing before he was famous!

Click here to read the full story of the Chiltern Leisure Trust debacle on the Guardian website.

Happy Bunny?

Word has reached the perfectly formed Eastcliff lugholes that Thanet Council's Corporate and Regulatory Services Manager Harvey Patterson may be heading for pastures new.

If the rumour is true, and I have to emphasise that I'm only running it up the old flagpole, it could mark the start of an admin shake-up at Duffer Central. Mr P has been the legal mandarin in the eye of many a recent Thanet storm, including the loss of £3.4m in the secret Ferrygate deal, the ongoing Pleasurama eyesore, and the recent row over the Royal Victoria Pavilion.

Of course, the head honcho in all these dubious doings has been Chief Exec Dr Sue McGonigal, and in my ever-so-humble opinion it should be her who's throwing in the towel. But then who am I to explain the Machiavellian machinations of the Margate machinery?

If the rumour proves true, I wonder if, in time-honoured Cecil Square tradition, Mr P will be offered a huge wodge for walking away? I think we should be told!

Meanwhile I see that the four independent members of our beloved council's Standards Committee, who are all members of the public rather than politicians or apparatchiks, have today reported that 'there is a local suspicion of secrecy, corruption and distance between the Council as it is perceived in the offices in Cecil Square, the reality of people’s lives and the needs of the district'.

They can say that again!

In fact, I think I'll say it again! 'There is a local suspicion of secrecy, corruption and distance between the Council as it is perceived in the offices in Cecil Square, the reality of people’s lives and the needs of the district.'

You can read their tut-tuttings in full by clicking here.

Update: After a, er, lively meeting of Thanet Council on Thursday, the Standards Committee report was rejected by our arse-covering councillors, following which the four independent members of the committee resigned en masse. Nuf said.

Update Feb 2014: My scoop about Harvey Patterson's departure finally makes it to The Isle of Thanet Gazunder. Quite why they get paid to print 'news' that I've already published two months earlier is beyond me. Kuh!

Wetherspoons Rank Outsiders

The result of my latest 7 day poll is in - and it's an overwhelming vote against Wetherspoons taking over the Royal Victoria Pavilion here on our lovely Ramsgate front! For the record, here's how you voted:

Question: Which future for the Royal Pavilion?

Wetherspoons Pub: 36% (35 votes)
Market And Community Space: 63% (60 votes)

So that's that, then. We should be getting our foodie market and community space any time soon! Hurrah!!!

Meanwhile, up on the grimmer west side of town, I see that the Project Motorhouse initiative to, er, create a community space in the old Motor Museum has been re-christened by the mandarins over in Margate. Riffling through the 240 pages of guff about 'Key Performance Indicators' and 'Summary Outturn Positions' that's being presented to TDC's cabinet next week, I came across this gem (click on the pic to big it up):

I know that nice, Australian, Dr Who lady who's spearheading Project Motorhouse won't mind me saying that she can be a bit gobby, but 'Project Motormouth' is going too far, I'd say!

Meanwhile a building has collapsed on Ramsgate High Street, not completely of its own accord, it has to be said. Oh well, nothing new there then.

Separated At Birth?

Reader Samantha writes:

Has anyone else noticed the striking similarity between Thanet Council's website banner, advertising their consultation on the latest Local Plan, and the popular board game Monopoly? Have Messrs Hasbro, the owners of Monopoly, been told?

Board game

Bored game

Ha! Well, Samantha, I'm sure The Duffers have paid something in the region of £3.4m out of our community chest for the rights to rip that off! If not, they'll probably end up going to jail, and that'll be the end of all the free parking round here!! (Geddit??!!??!?!?!!!!!!!????!?!?)

And while we're on the subject of lookalikes, another reader has emailed me to ask me whether anyone has noticed the similarity between Eric Pickles, the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government who has just given Tesco permission to build a 19,000,000 square foot supermarket on Margate seafront, and the Sontarans, the stocky, warlike aliens from Doctor Who? Hmmm, let's see...

 Sontaran

Pickles

History Lesson

With the news that Thanet Duffer Central has offered the 'developers' of the Pleasurama Eyesore aka Royal Sands aka Titanic Towers more time to cough up the sponds to avoid further 'scrutiny' (ooh, they must be really scared!), I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane and see if history can teach us a lesson here.

So settle down, and please do pay attention at the back. Poole - stop playing with McGonigal's calculator. Yes, it does spell 'boobs' if you hold it upside down, put it down. Thank you.

Now, it all starts back in 1986 with Thanet Council leasing the site to the late Jimmy Godden. Yes Poole, you're right, that is nearly 30 years ago. Well done.

Jimmy didn't much like running amusement parks, but he did like burning them down, collecting on the insurance, then applying for planning permission to build luxury seafront apartments. In 1994, Jimmy and his chums at Thanet Council cooked up a scheme to redevelop Pleasurama which would retain the listed building at the heart of the site. It was agreed that a mixed retail and leisure development would be completed by 31st December 2000, and the council would be paid £500,000.

Then in 1998, before work on the development could start, what happened? No McGonigal, the council didn't receive lots of money and live happily ever after. Bayford? Hart? Any clues? No? I'll tell you then. The site burnt down, and despite the fact that the council could have insisted the insurance money was spent on the new development, they allowed Jimmy to trouser the lot. He then trundled off in his Rolls-Royce to burn some other seafront heritage sites down, leaving Pleasurama to rot.

The council's Chief Executive at the time argued that no further dealings should be had with Mr Godden, and what happened to him? Yes, McGonigal, you're right! He received lots of money, retired early and lived happily ever after!

By 2001, Ramsgate's residents were so unhappy with what was happening to their lovely seafront, and the incompetence of their council, that they called in the District Auditor. Does anyone know what the District Auditor does? No Bayford, he doesn't check bus passes. He's a scary man with a big stick who goes around asking lots of very awkward questions. In 2002 he produced his report, here it is. It concludes that the biggest single impact of what had transpired was 'the lost opportunity to-date of developing a key area of the district for the overall benefit of local residents', and that 'a considerable amount of (council) staff resources were expended on this scheme (615 hours) for very little tangible output'.

What's more, he chastised (it means 'told off', Hart) the council for lacking project management skills, carrying out negotiations with the developer in secret, failure to approach alternative developers, failure to get a proper valuation for the site, failure by council employees to provide proper reports to councillors, and failure to take proper minutes of meetings and keep proper records of costs incurred.

Now, Poole, Hart, Bayford, McGonigal - what do we learn from this? Poole? What's that, you say? Keep secretly negotiating for ten years with one 'developer' you know nothing about, and offer to change the pathetically sketchy agreement you have with them to suit the requirements of their 'bankers'? Stupid boy! Go and stand in the corner!

Ferrygate - Separated At Birth?

 

Reader Samantha writes:

Has anyone else noticed the striking similarity between the £3m Thanet Council was hoping to get for the freehold of the Pleasurama eyesore in Ramsgate, and the £3.3m it has lost in the Ferrygate debacle? Talk about funny money!

Haha! Well, Samantha, if you are saying that the council's book-cooker woke up on Monday morning this week, saw that the three million sovs would be unforthcoming from the 'developers' of the Pleasurama site, and realised that, as the £3.3m ferry hole it was intended to fill would therefore remain unplugged she had better fess up, you may have a point.

I'll get my accountant Cyril on it straight away!

Ferrygate - Inside The Secret TDC Committee

Hands up who's heard of Thanet Council's 'Ramsgate Port and Marina Cabinet Advisory Group'? I certainly hadn't. But apparently it does exactly what it says on the tin.

The minutes had, until a year ago, been published on TDC's website. Then the powers-that-be decided that what they were discussing was way too confidential for the likes of you and me, the people who actually pay their wages, to be privy to.

Councillors who are or were on the committee, according to those minutes that have been published, include Bayford, Campbell, Gideon, Huxley, Roberts and Watkins, with occasional appearances from D Green and Poole, and TDC officers such as Maritime Operations Manager and Harbour Master Rob Brown, and Corporate and Regulatory Services Manager Harvey Patterson.

Now, what is interesting is that on 26th January 2012, the last meeting where the minutes were published, the committee decided to spend a £20K EU grant that had to be used up by June 2012 on hiring a consultant to see what could be done to attract new business to the port. And here's the clincher. The reason? Because 'no-one within TDC was expert enough in this field'.

So, by their own admission, by the beginning of 2012, when TransEuropa's debts were already piling up, no-one at TDC was competent enough to run a maritime business in such a way that alternative shipping lines could be attracted to take up the slack. Un-flipping-believable!

Of course, we'll never know if a consultant was indeed hired, or if anything was done to attract any alternative, viable business. Because the minutes end with this killer punch: 'AOB: The Ramsgate Port and Marina Cabinet Advisory Group agreed that all future meetings would be private.'

Ferrygate

Following my exclusive revelation last month that TransEuropa Ferries had sunk without trace, we have now been presented with the bill by Thanet Council - a whopping £3.3m!

Yes folks, that's 3,300,000 of your English pounds pissed up the swanny, without so much as a 'by your leave'. That's your council tax, that's my council tax, that's money that should have been going towards funding decent public services in Thanet, not propping up a failing foreign business.

So what did we get for our mulah? The answer to that has to be: 'Chuff-all'. I've seen councillors on other blogs justify their actions by saying TEF was a major business that couldn't be allowed to fail. Really? Are they actually suggesting that it was a worthwhile exercise to clandestinely syphon off our money into a Slovenian firm, owned by a couple of Maltese barristers, for the sake of protecting, what, ten jobs down at the port? That's £330,000 per job!

Someone, somewhere has dropped a massive bollock. Or worse, there's been enough council collusion and corruption going on to make even a crook like Sandy Ezekiel blush. Who ordered this unlawful secret subsidy? Councillors? Council officers? Why aren't they in jail too? Wasn't Brian White, the former Head of Regeneration and Planning, in charge down there at the time? Why did he get a £70,000 pay-off for this, er, sterling work? And why was the port accountant, the only person with the bottle, experience and nouse to flag up this monumental misappropriation of public funds, suddenly sacked in 2011 and told that all the number crunching would, in future, be done at Duffer Central in Cecil Square?

In order to pay for this ferry fiasco, we are now told that, amongst other things, £1m will be taken from something called the 'New Homes Bonus', a government grant aimed at helping local authorities build affordable homes and bring long-term empty properties back into use. So to line a few pockets, people are going to lose out on much-needed accommodation. Kuh!

The whole thing stinks worse than Margate Harbour when the tide's out. I think Eric Pickles should be told!

Meanwhile, in other Ramsgate seafront news, TDC have concluded that something needs to be done about the Pleasurama eyesore, and that they're now not entirely happy with the decade and a half of dereliction they've been promoting down there. Call me a cynic, but releasing this 'good news' straight after their Ferrygate revelations strikes me as a rather obvious attempt at media manipulation.

And to be honest, it ain't all good news either, as it's going to cost us council taxpayers several more millions in legal fees to undo that particular mess. You couldn't make it up, could you?

Trains And Boats And Planes

Trundling around the old Millionaires' Playground earlier, I thought I'd snap a few off. So here goes. I'll start with the trains...

Well, you would have seen trains there 100 years ago, as it used to be our lovely Ramsgate Sands station. Now it's a delightful row of, er, concrete sticks, part of the ever-to-be-constructed Royal Sands (aka Titanic) development of luxury dwellings, sanctioned by The Duffers. If you pop over to the developer's website, and have a spare two grand handy, you can put down a non-refundable deposit and look at an artist's impression of your splendidly appointed apartment. Which is probably all you'll ever get for your money.

Next some boats...

Oh dear! There don't seem to be any there either! In fact, as I've said before, I haven't seen a TransEuropa ferry in ages. Never mind, there are still some boats in the marina...

Then to cap it all, this thing flew over...

Hey-ho! Just another day in paradise!

Ask Sister Assumpta - Banged Up Special

Yes, she's back by popular demand! Our holy mother of all agony aunts, Sister Assumpta, tackles your incarceration problems!

Dear Sister Assumpta, I woz talkin' to me BFF Phillip the uvver day an' 'e sed there's no way we're gonna be doin' bird for this 'ere property mullarkey but now the beak's sent us darn an' I'm staring at 18 munfs in chokey. Is it true that I shood of told the carncil I loaned me mate the money fer the 'arse? S.

Sister Assumpta writes: Yer feckin' eejit, yer a cute hoor and no mistake! Yer made a terrible hames of running the feckin' council yer feckin' gobshite, so don't be giving me any of yer guff. Yer've made a holy show of yerself, so hump off before I give yer a puck in the gob!

Dear Sister Assumpta, I woz talkin' to me BFF Sandy the uvver day an' 'e sed there's no way we're gonna be doing bird for this 'ere property mullarkey but now the beak's sent us darn an' I'm staring at 12 munfs in chokey. Is it true that me mate shood of told the carncil that 'e loaned me the money fer the 'arse? P.

Sister Assumpta writes: Jaysus! Feck yer, yer feckin' bollocks. If yer gonna do everything arseways, yer bound to make a bags of it, yer mentaller. Now shut yer cuntin' cakehole yer dry shite or I'll chuck a gollier at yer knackers!

Dear Sister Assumpta, I am the leader of the Conservative faction of a certain local authority in the South East of England. In the past few years my members have suffered a series of misfortunes, including convictions for misconduct in public office and drink-driving, police investigations over collusion with property developers, castigations over foul-mouthed and unseemly behaviour in public, allegations of falsifying records, absenteeism (Panama), homophobia and cat killing to name but a few. For the life of me, I can't understand why we are no longer in power. Is there anything we can do to make ourselves more popular? B.

Sister Assumpta writes: Feck me backwards through a threshin' machine, yer great arsin' tool! Yer goin' around like a constipated greyhound! Yer think yer the cat's pyjamas, but yer got a face like the the Earl of Hell's arse! Go lick it off a scabby leg!

That's enough Sister Assumpta - Ed.

Breaking News - Sandy Bagged!

My spies (er, everyone on Twatter that is), are reporting that the jury at Maidstone Crown Court has found Our Sandy (former Tory TDC leader Sandy Ezekiel) guilty on all four charges of misconduct whilst holding a public office, with his co-accused Phillip Emanuel found guilty of aiding and abetting. The charges related to iffy property dealings in Margate Old Town, and failure to disclose his property interests to the council.

Not that anyone who overheard Sandy's frequent boasts about how he was 'going to make a fucking mint' by buying up property in the Old Town once the Turnip Centre had been given the green light can be in the least bit surprised.

Full details are now running on the Isle of Thanet Gazunder website. Including a quote from Will Scobie, the Mayor of Margate, saying he is 'shocked' and can't remember a councillor being found guilty of misconduct in public office 'in his lifetime'. Bless. He's only 14.

By the way, full marks and a bottle of bubbly to the dauntless Louise Oldfield for sitting through the entire trial and keeping us all up to date via Twitter. Margate doesn't deserve you Louise! Hurry up and defect to the sunny side of the island!

Right, I'm currently redeveloping the old cliff top mansion into 497 luxury apartments, so I'm off to buy some carpets I can afford from Cyril Fraud (one for the oldies there!). Pip pip!

Update: Shagpile's been sentenced to 18 months of Her Majesty's Porridge for each offence, to run concurrently. So that'll be his second all expenses paid trip to somewhere with a big wall in just a few short years! No word yet on whether he's appealing (insert your own joke here).

Headless Chickens Coming Home To Roost?

Holy brown envelopes! Today's Isle of Thanet Gazunder reports that PC Plod is carrying out a wider investigation into corruption at Thanet Duffer Council in the wake of former Tory leader Sandy 'Shagpile' Beach's public misconduct trial!

The woodentops are said to be particularly interested in the 'property deals and personal interests of politicians and public servants, past and present.' Crikey! That should get them quaking in their Gucci boots and revving up the old Land Rover V8s ready for that long overdue trip to Malaga! Talk about brarn envelopes! More like brarn trousers!!???!!!!!??! (Geddit?!!!?!???!!!)

And given yours truly's extensive and, er, insightful coverage of Fannit events during the years under investigation, it's only natural that Inspector Knacker should come knocking on my door for the inside goss. Of course, I have been more than happy to accommodate him. If you have any juicy tips, just email me at the address on the right and I'll pass them on.

Meanwhile I see the great and good have been lining up to vouch for Our Sandy at Maidstone Crown Court, where the jury is still deliberating after two days. (I hear the jury room at Maidstone is well heated, and the tea and biscuits exceptional.) Norf Fannit MP Sir Roger Wind, local booze emporium magnate Sir Frank Thorley, and high-flying, chopper-loving, China Gateway-developing Sir Ken Wills have all stepped up to the plate to testify what a stout-hearted and honest fellow the former Tory leader, famed for his petition tossing at the Margate branch of Edinburgh Woollen Mill and portrayal of the Mayor of Margate as a 'fucking tosser' at a black tie do, is.

Carpet shop proprietor and ex-boxer Sandy denies the charges of misconduct relating to property deals in Margate's Old Town. M'lud.

Which reminds me, where did I put that Tesco bag?!?!???

Update (12:52 Friday 1 March): Sandy and his co-accused Phillip Emanuel have both been found bang to rights! Hurrah!

The Writing's On The Wall

Lord luvva-bleeding-duck!!!!! I go away for a mere year or two, and return to find that our beautiful Great Wall of Ramsgate has been whitewashed by some numpty with a roller and a pot of Wilko's finest! Priceless works of art ruined in less time than it takes to jackhammer a Banksy off the side of Poundland. Grrrrr! And harrumph!

Of course, this being the Ile de Thanet, the most important thing now is to find a politician to blame. My personal preference would be to crucify the duffers who allowed a bunch of faux developers get their grubby mitts on the Pleasurama site in the first place. Once they've been dealt with, we can move on to tarring and feathering the twit with the paint pot, finally reserving the full Edward II treatment for the feeble-minded who think that selling the freehold for the site to SFP is going to lead to any result other than rows of concrete sticks eyesoring our lovely seafront until we're all long dead and buried. Kuh!

Click here for more photos of the desecration on our local Bibliobloke's blog.

Schadenfraude

Lorks! I see my old Fannit Council chum and former Tory Chief Duffer Sandy Beach has been charged with fraud and misconduct in a public office! Who'd have thought!??!?!??

Senior Crown Prosecutor Ken Goss told the Isle of Thanet Gazunder: 'I have today advised Kent Police to charge two men in relation to fraud and misconduct in a public office. It is alleged one of the men improperly used privileged Thanet District Council information in relation to the purchase of two properties.'

Brarn envelopes and wall-to-wall carpets all round!

Dreadful Dredging Drives Dosh To Dover

While the whole of Margate is so excited about Tracey Emin's visit that there's barely a dry gusset in the house, here in Ramsgate the news ain't so pant-wetting.

Riffling through my copy of Dredging Today this morning, I clocked an item about a former Shirley Temple Yacht Club commodore who's had to switch his allegiance to Dover because there's not enough water in our lovely Royal Harbour to float his boat:

Former RTYC commodore John Barrett says he's berthed his Beneteau First 35 race yacht Stiletto in Dover because Ramsgate’s harbour authority could not guarantee Stiletto’s keel would not get stuck in silt. Mr Barrett said: 'They are unable to accommodate Stiletto as they cannot guarantee the 2.5 metres of water that the boat safely needs.' Dover Harbour Marina has welcomed Stiletto with open arms, as they can guarantee the depth in their marina, and will undoubtedly use this problem in Ramsgate as a marketing aid.

Click on the pic to go to the full story. What with our marina losing one of its Yacht Harbour Association Gold Anchors recently, and the news last week that this year's tall ships race will be avoiding the harbour because of all the silt, it makes you wonder whether there's any reason why our beloved council's Director of Regeneration (and Acting Harbour Master) Brian White shouldn't be keelhauled!

Council Tries To Ruin Local Business

Of course, it's a given round here that everything Thanet Council touches turns to rubble. You only have to look at MC Bookman's brilliant exposé of the rubbish job that was made of our crumbling East Cliff facade to know that.

But word has reached me today of an attempt by the council to boot out a business that can trace its roots in Ramsgate Harbour back more than 60 years. Alan Booth, boss of Marlec Marine Ltd, has emailed me in apoplexy over his treatment by The Duffers. He's refused to sign a new lease on his arch opposite the marina as they've removed his right of tenure. Now they've given him notice to quit.

Alan writes:

I am still in shock that TDC can treat us like this. Ron Cannon next door has been told he can keep his tenure because he has been a 'long term tenant'. I've been here 12 years and Marlec Marine has been here since 1992. Before that it was Walkers Marine which was incorporated in 1947. How long do you have to be in the harbour to be a 'long term tenant'?

We have been ringing and ringing the council but with no response. We are at our wits' end.

Well Alan, you have my utmost sympathy for what seems to be a typically senseless and incomprehensible move by our beloved council. I'm not surprised that you haven't had a response though. The Harbour Master is currently larging it up in Las Vegas!

Click here to go to Marlec Marine website

'An Anonymous Spouter Of Spiteful Drivel'

Yes, dear reader. That's what I've been called by Cllr Wells in today's yourfannitinnit, in a comment on my recent Tory leadership poll. All the other Cons seem to have taken it in the spirit it was meant (apart from Cllr Wise who describes it as 'mischievous in the extreme', but that's probably just sour grapes as he came last).

That's the thanks you get from Thanet's Tories. And there I was, ever ready to praise Cllr Beardy as one of the few Duffers who seem to have integrity, particularly after his intervention to save Revolution Skate Park back in 2006. What a short memory he must have.

Although... hang on... perhaps it's a case of protesting too much? Maybe there's even the possibility of some sexual tension between us? He's probably seen my photo and, like most red-blooded chaps, has got the urge. And without the face fuzz, he's probably quite good looking too! Yes, that's almost certainly it! Chris, you know the poll wasn't my idea, don't you? Do forgive me, it was all Bertie Biggles' fault!

Click here to read more in yourfannitinnit

Tiptoe Through The Poo Tips

Now that I've recovered somewhat from the jet lag, I thought I'd take an inaugural toddle around the Millionaires' Playground. As I weaved past the thawing dog nuts and piles of uncollected rubbish on the pavements, a familiar feeling came over me.

On the one hand the startling beauty and setting of this town in the magic hour when the sun's setting can still take my breath away, just like the first time I clapped eyes on it all those years ago. Indeed, you could see it in the eyes of the hoards of newcomers who were strolling along the prom. You can spot them by the wistful glint as they survey their new manor, and the fact that they've not been dressed from a skip. They've been lured here, no doubt, by the new high speed train link (posters for which have sprung up everywhere in my absence), the Regency and Victorian properties at knock down (before they fall down) prices and the wondrous Thanet coastscape.

Only this week, Ramsgate was yet again named, along with Plymouth, as a national property hotspot, just as it was at the end of 2005, prompting my move here and spawning these feeble jottings, now in their fifth inglourious year. But after five years, the scales have well truly fallen from my eyes, the barker's nest on the cake being our local administration, guided, as it is, by lacklustre, dimwitted yokels who'd roll their trouser leg up and sell their granny, along with a free tube of KY, if there was a quick buck to be made.

But it's not all bad news. Ramsgate Council and the Eastcliff Residents' Association (of which I have never been a member, and of which I am never likely to be now they've had some sort of palace coup and a website revamp which has deleted the link to the eponymous area's most famous resident) have both come up with retorts to the Duffers' planning consultation which goes as far as they can in saying 'up yours' to the airport without being accused of stifling the (non-existent) 'jobs effect' so often touted by its supporters. Remember, more than a decade ago they were promising 10,000 jobs. So far it's created less than 100.

Back to that property report, and one of the stated reasons for Ramsgate being touted as a speculators' paradise is the new (also non-existent) fast ferry link to Boulogne. I see our local good egghead and biblio-bloke Michael Child has been blowing the whistle on this. Well, he may say that, but I couldn't possibly comment, still being held to ransom as I am by the putative operators. Suffice it to say that Visit Britain (the British Tourist Board in old money) thinks they've been running since 14 November (see link below), and that's good enough for me.

Even the high speed trains hardly covered themselves in glory, I hear, during the Big Snow of 2009. As I've been writing this, the sun's gone down, and the tracksuited youths are marching up and down outside, threatening to set fire to a discarded estate agent's sign that's cluttering up the pavement. Oh dear, I feel the old cynicism creeping over me again!

Southeastern high speed trains
Ramsgate tipped as property hotspot on email4property.co.uk
Ramsgate to be 'millionaires' playground' (from 2006)
Latest on fast ferry to Boulogne on Thanetonline
Visit Britain's quarterly update (pdf download)

The Things They Say...

I read in the Gazette today the story that the council is too mean or worried to webcast the council meetings. What a load of tosh! It's an old story and one I looked into when I started as a councillor.

If you want your council meetings webcast then it's not cheap. We aren't discussing a three minute YouTube clip but a fully duplex high bandwidth facility piped into the offices in Cecil Square. Those readers with a more intelligent grasp of the challenge than the hacks at the Thanet Gazumph will realise that paying £15 a month for their 8mb broadband connection is cheap because the 8mb only goes one way. Ask your ISP for 8mb upstream and you'll be paying rather more than your monthly charge.

Now extrapolate that as bandwidth in and out of the council offices and you'll realise that live webcasting invariably comes with a hefty bandwidth bill. So the simple choice is do you want your council meetings televised and if you do are you happy to pay for it or see one of the other council services cut-back to finance it. At this time in our history, I believe we have more urgent priorities to spend our dwindling budget on.

Councillor/Doctor Simon Moores, Thanet Life, 20 Feb 2009

Cllr. Simon Moores, Cabinet Member for Customer Services, said: 'The council is constantly looking at how we can use new technology to improve the service that we offer to our customers. We're aware that the decisions we make impact on local people's lives and we want to give them the opportunity to see how we make those decisions, without them having to come to the council chamber and attend the meetings. We've looked into this and research shows that people prefer 'on demand' services, where they can watch meetings whenever they want to, rather than being tied to viewing it as it happens. That's why we've decided to go with the 'on demand' as our trial, with meetings available for a certain period of time after they are held.'

Thanet Council press release, 15 Dec 2009

And after all that, it didn't work anyway!!!!