Porridge

How I miss my old showbiz chum - the late, great, lovely, dear Ronnie Barker! So in the light of recent events I thought it only fitting to cobble together carefully craft this tribute to what must be regarded as his seminal oeuvre. Baftas and RTS Awards all round!

Breaking News - Sandy Bagged!

My spies (er, everyone on Twatter that is), are reporting that the jury at Maidstone Crown Court has found Our Sandy (former Tory TDC leader Sandy Ezekiel) guilty on all four charges of misconduct whilst holding a public office, with his co-accused Phillip Emanuel found guilty of aiding and abetting. The charges related to iffy property dealings in Margate Old Town, and failure to disclose his property interests to the council.

Not that anyone who overheard Sandy's frequent boasts about how he was 'going to make a fucking mint' by buying up property in the Old Town once the Turnip Centre had been given the green light can be in the least bit surprised.

Full details are now running on the Isle of Thanet Gazunder website. Including a quote from Will Scobie, the Mayor of Margate, saying he is 'shocked' and can't remember a councillor being found guilty of misconduct in public office 'in his lifetime'. Bless. He's only 14.

By the way, full marks and a bottle of bubbly to the dauntless Louise Oldfield for sitting through the entire trial and keeping us all up to date via Twitter. Margate doesn't deserve you Louise! Hurry up and defect to the sunny side of the island!

Right, I'm currently redeveloping the old cliff top mansion into 497 luxury apartments, so I'm off to buy some carpets I can afford from Cyril Fraud (one for the oldies there!). Pip pip!

Update: Shagpile's been sentenced to 18 months of Her Majesty's Porridge for each offence, to run concurrently. So that'll be his second all expenses paid trip to somewhere with a big wall in just a few short years! No word yet on whether he's appealing (insert your own joke here).

Headless Chickens Coming Home To Roost?

Holy brown envelopes! Today's Isle of Thanet Gazunder reports that PC Plod is carrying out a wider investigation into corruption at Thanet Duffer Council in the wake of former Tory leader Sandy 'Shagpile' Beach's public misconduct trial!

The woodentops are said to be particularly interested in the 'property deals and personal interests of politicians and public servants, past and present.' Crikey! That should get them quaking in their Gucci boots and revving up the old Land Rover V8s ready for that long overdue trip to Malaga! Talk about brarn envelopes! More like brarn trousers!!???!!!!!??! (Geddit?!!!?!???!!!)

And given yours truly's extensive and, er, insightful coverage of Fannit events during the years under investigation, it's only natural that Inspector Knacker should come knocking on my door for the inside goss. Of course, I have been more than happy to accommodate him. If you have any juicy tips, just email me at the address on the right and I'll pass them on.

Meanwhile I see the great and good have been lining up to vouch for Our Sandy at Maidstone Crown Court, where the jury is still deliberating after two days. (I hear the jury room at Maidstone is well heated, and the tea and biscuits exceptional.) Norf Fannit MP Sir Roger Wind, local booze emporium magnate Sir Frank Thorley, and high-flying, chopper-loving, China Gateway-developing Sir Ken Wills have all stepped up to the plate to testify what a stout-hearted and honest fellow the former Tory leader, famed for his petition tossing at the Margate branch of Edinburgh Woollen Mill and portrayal of the Mayor of Margate as a 'fucking tosser' at a black tie do, is.

Carpet shop proprietor and ex-boxer Sandy denies the charges of misconduct relating to property deals in Margate's Old Town. M'lud.

Which reminds me, where did I put that Tesco bag?!?!???

Update (12:52 Friday 1 March): Sandy and his co-accused Phillip Emanuel have both been found bang to rights! Hurrah!

Schadenfraude

Lorks! I see my old Fannit Council chum and former Tory Chief Duffer Sandy Beach has been charged with fraud and misconduct in a public office! Who'd have thought!??!?!??

Senior Crown Prosecutor Ken Goss told the Isle of Thanet Gazunder: 'I have today advised Kent Police to charge two men in relation to fraud and misconduct in a public office. It is alleged one of the men improperly used privileged Thanet District Council information in relation to the purchase of two properties.'

Brarn envelopes and wall-to-wall carpets all round!

A Word From Our Other Sponsor

As part of my new policy of carrying a modest amount of tasteful sponsorship ('selling out' in old money) here on the island's biggest and best blog, I'd like to introduce you to those nice people at Nice Things.

Based at the newly renovated Custom House in the Millionaires' Playground, Nice Things showcases local arts and crafts from, er, local artists and craftsmen. So if your other half has a birthday coming up or you need a last minute prezzie for that anniversary you've forgotten, or you just want to treat yourself, do pop along and browse their selection of paintings, ceramics, jewellery, trinkets, cards and wrapping paper.

Phew! The things I have to do to earn a wedge these days! If you'd like your name in front of thousands of readers a week, other slots are available. All it costs is less than a bottle of decent fizz a month, stuffed in cash into the customary brarn envelope, and deposited at an address of my choosing. Just email me at richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk

Heritage Schmeritage

Photo: Margate Architecture

Those of you who've been following me on Twatter will know that I've been laid low with the lurgy yet again. Must be something in the Thanet water.

However, I'm still dragging myself to the computer at least once a day to bring you the latest news nibbles and frankly yes I do deserve at least a medal if not a flaming knighthood. Through the paracetamol haze, I see the excellent Margate Architecture blog is reporting yet more unauthorised destruction of Thanet heritage by a cowboy developer. The historic buildings in Reeves Yard, owned by local estate agent Roger Crittenden and the oldest industrial buildings in Margate, have been demolished without so much as a 'by your leave'. Quite how our beloved council let's people get away with this type of behaviour is beyond me. One can only imagine it's down to gross incompetence, or brown envelopes stuffed full of fifties changing hands.

Today's news is reminiscent of the way the Marina Restaurant met its maker here on Ramsgate front. On which topic, my spies tell me that the owners now have until the end of November to restore the building otherwise it'll be compulsorily purchased by TDC. A new design for the extension has been submitted which is much more in keeping with the building's Grade II listed status (see below), but it has yet to go before the planning committee. Why is it that I get the feeling it'll still be a pile of rubble in twenty years time?

Click here to go to UK Planning website (application L/TH/09/0052)