Monday, August 17, 2009

Margate Runs Out Of Rozzers

My spies in the Arsonists' Playground report that the gift shop on the Harbour Arm (pier in old money) was broken into on Friday night.

Apparently a call was put into the cops when some suspicious looking types were seen casing the joint. 'We'll be there in 25 minutes,' came the vapid response from Kent's finest. Sure enough, the burglary was soon in progress, and another call was made to the Peelers. 'We'll be there in 25 minutes,' repeated the automaton at the other end. Needless to say, the Bill arrived 25 minutes after the vagabonds had made off with their booty.

Judging by the number of flatfoots in Broadstairs for Drunk Week, and the van loads that were scooping deadbeats off the pavements here in the Millionaires' Playground during the simultaneous Ramsgate Week, it's not surprising that, er, 'resources were stretched' to use public sector speak. There again, this break-in happened in full view of Margate cop shop, so you'd think there'd at least have been one copper on a tea break prepared to put down their copy of Pensions Weekly and toddle over to take a gander!

Meanwhile reader Eddie reports that Thanet's favourite journo, Rachel Cooke of the Observer, has been writing up the island again, this time in rather more glowing terms than those in which she described Broadstairs recently. Admittedly her article doesn't start off that promisingly:

If Margate were a blind date, waiting for you at a bar, you would turn on your heel and run. Who wants to spend an evening with a man whose front teeth are missing, whose expression is permanently leery, whose tatty clothes smell of stale chip fat and worse?

But by the next sentence... And yet I fall for the town in the time it takes me to walk from the station to the prom.

Clearly Rachel likes a bit of rough, given that the saccharin charms of the Dickensian east side failed to woo her, but she's now fallen for a toothless, leering tramp. She then witters on for many thousands of words about the Turnip, fish and chips, crab sandwiches blah blah blah.

The PR types at Duffer Central will no doubt be going 'hurrah!' at yet another mensh of Margate. Rachel's staycation in Broadie was presumably subsidised by this piece, although like all good hacks she's managed to sell the paper two for the price of one after her nasty experience with the receptionist at the Albion Hotel. Maybe something happened to her here on the south side, and next week we'll be treated to an item on Ramsgate. If 'treat' is the right word!

Rachel does Margate
Rachel buggers Broadstairs
Even the Independent's getting in on the act!


Anonymous said...

Unfortunately the police are too busy dealing with all the drunks along the promenade on friday & saturday nights...& consequently it's even more difficult to get them to come out on sunday mornings when there's hardly anyone on duty. A few months back a car was parked half-way across my road with the doors left open & had clearly been dumped, but when I reported it they refused to come out because I couldn't see the number plate from my window.

Anonymous said...

Regrettably Rachel's latest article is fullof inaccuracies. PLease see the forum at to learn more. All in all a big Margate raspberry to her for this latest poor attempt!

Anonymous said...

I fall for the town every day too. It gets in your blood.

Anonymous said...

Thanet has a population of approx. 130,000. I`m led to believe that having two response units(police to you and me)on a night duty is not uncommon. So the cavalry isn`t coming!

ascu75 aka Don said...

My son cant get into the police cos they aint recuiting anywhere he has tried all the forces and not one is taking any coppers on or plastic police men either but they pay a bounty for people to signup from other forces and pay loads of overtime.Sumfink is wrong me finks

Anonymous said...

Report out today shows Met police PCs earn up to 60 thou by piling on the overtime. Why not hire twice as many at 30 thou?

Lucy Mail said...

I suspect his mistake was mentioning that you are his father, Don.
And I would suppose that their reasoning is that they have enough 'silly bollocks' as it is!

Dave Stuka said...

Seeing how the Grauniad media group are considering dumping the Observer perhaps Rachel's new tone is to encourage folk to buy the damn rag rather than shy away from it.