Saturday, August 08, 2009

Avast Behind!

Excitement is mounting in Boredstares, I'm told, where Victorian bathing costumes are about to make way for the thrills and spills of hemp smocks and bladders on sticks.

Yes, the Dickensians are eagerly anticipating their annual Folk Week (or Drunk Week as it's become known locally), which kicks off today. Around 150,000 men and women with beards are expected to descend on the UK's second best seaside town, turning the camp site at Upton School into a mini version of Glastonbury, with the waft of illicit drugs such as Old Nutty Shag and Nadger's Dorchester Wobbly permeating the air.

Meanwhile, here in the Millionaires' Playground, we're anticipating something much more salubrious. Ramsgate Week, organised by our very own Shirley Temple Yacht Club, will see the cream of the yachting fraternity hoity-toiting on land and sea for six days as of Monday.

As I'm still awaiting the upfront 50% payment on A Snip at £900 for the Harley Street Vasectomy Clinic, I shan't be participating in the sailing. But you will be able to spot me in my Captain's cap, brass buttoned blazer and deck shoes with the salty seamen on the front. I might even get my Rolex Oyster (Whitstable Edition) back from Hiltons for the occasion. And I'll definitely be rooting out my CockSox swimmers for the Hunks in Trunks competition!

Eastcliff Richard makes no apology for running this exact same article last year, the year before, and the year before that. After all, nothing's changed, has it?

Prepare to mount the poop deck! Participants getting their bottoms scraped at the 2006 Ramsgate Week

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lime Hot Lime Shooter or
Pink Slippery Pickle Pink ?

Dick Rubin said...

My dear boy, going bare back is not recommended and as my dear father told me one should wear a French Letter....which rather confused me that evening as I was writing a French essay....how I wondered would that stop me sowing my seed? My father also told me slags was best and nice girls were for marrying so off to broadstairs this evening GRRRRRRRR.

Anonymous said...

Interesting and sad that the Power Boat Weekend which has re-located to Dover has been blighted by a horrific accident.

Anonymous said...

Interesting and sad that the Power Boat Weekend which has re-located to Dover has been blighted by a horrific accident.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the warning ECR. I will be sure to avoid Ramsgate this week.

Anonymous said...

Accidents happen when you hurtle about at silly speeds on the water.

Sarah said...

There speaks a true yacht's man