Thursday, May 14, 2009

Pubic Enemy Number One

Lunching with a member of Her Majesty's Press earlier, I was, er, treated to the following information concerning convicted Kentish kiddie-fiddler and former SlimFast advertiser Barry Bethel.

In search of some juicy local goss on the 66 year old, who was done last week for sexually assaulting a girl after promising to make her a star, the aforementioned hackette called a mate who had worked with Bethel at the now defunct Thanet Local Radio. 'Oh yes, I remember him,' reminisced the mate. 'He used to wear white trousers.'

'Were they tight?' inquired the newshound, scribbling on her jotter.

'Tight? You could see his pubes!' came the response.

Needless to say the state of Bethel's broccoli was subsequently deemed unfit for publication by the editor.


Anonymous said...

Lunching eh! Sold out to the local establishment, next you'll be reassessing those blighters at TDC and Sandy will emerge as a much maligned thoughtful well mannered statesman.

I shall be looking forward to sloppy rewrites of TDC press releases with your name attached in this weeks Gazette

Eastcliff Richard said...

Now that I have been fully brainwashed er briefed, I have to say that TDC is, indeed, a much maligned and misunderstood organisation. They are doing a splendid job in the face of the tremendous deprivation the area faces, and one can only wonder at the marvels they perform.

Sandy, too, is much maligned and is in fact a thoughtful and well mannered statesman.

The award-winning Margate Gateway aka Library stands as a testament to the far-sightedness and vision of the man and the people behind him.

Must kill Iris..... must kill Iris.....

Anonymous said...

ECR you left out how foresighted TDC was in backing the China gateway, Manston airport development to 6 million passengers, their support of Euroferries, support of the Pleasurama development disregarding the Environment Agencies concerns, allowing lorries and their drivers to use the West Cliff as a free car park and open toilet, and the closing of the local museums.
I almost forgot the excellent street cleansing and refuse collecting service.