Pubic Enemy Number One

Lunching with a member of Her Majesty's Press earlier, I was, er, treated to the following information concerning convicted Kentish kiddie-fiddler and former SlimFast advertiser Barry Bethel.

In search of some juicy local goss on the 66 year old, who was done last week for sexually assaulting a girl after promising to make her a star, the aforementioned hackette called a mate who had worked with Bethel at the now defunct Thanet Local Radio. 'Oh yes, I remember him,' reminisced the mate. 'He used to wear white trousers.'

'Were they tight?' inquired the newshound, scribbling on her jotter.

'Tight? You could see his pubes!' came the response.

Needless to say the state of Bethel's broccoli was subsequently deemed unfit for publication by the editor.

Lazing On A Sunny Afternoon

Well the fish aren't biting and the tea's gone cold. The tax man's taken all my dough and left me in my stately home, lazing on a sunny afternoon. I can't even sail my yacht, he's taken everything I've got.

Oops. I appear to have fallen into a Kinks-fuelled timewarp there, sorry. No, the reason for the nostalgia attack is because I've just found Radio Caroline on the web. Since I relocated to Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula, I can't count the number of times that people have come up to me and said: Do you remember the days when you used to be able to get Radio Caroline round here blah boats sinking blah masts snapping blah police raids blah Marine Offences Etc. Act 1967 blah blah blah. I can't count the number of times because, um, there haven't actually been any. But I wouldn't want the truth to get in the way of a good story.

Any road, you can now listen to the former pirates, still pumping out their eclectic mix of 60s and 70s favourites (plus a few newies), but no longer on 259 medium wave. These days they're on broadband, or on your MurdochVision thingy, if you're that way inclined. And they've forsaken the North Sea to broadcast instead from a nice air-conditioned studio in Maidstone. About the only good thing to come out of the place, if you ask me.

Pirates!

Strolling along the prom this morning, I spotted a medium sized vessel anchored just off the Millionaires' Playground. Upon whipping out the old binocs, I could just about make out that it was the MV Patricia.

Thinking this might be the long awaited Roman invasion, I scurried back to the CTM, fired up the Del Boy laptop, and headed straight for google, expecting to discover that the MV Patricia was one of my Russian millionaire friend's floating gin palaces.

Sadly I was eventually disappointed, as it turns out to be a Trinity House vessel. Although I did experience a brief frisson when I noticed the pirate station Swinging Radio England had broadcast from a similarly named ship in the 60s.

Now there's an idea! Anyone for Wonderful Radio Ramsgate?