Once upon a time there were two wind farms growing up off the coast of our blustery island. One was an ickle baby wind farm called Thanet Offshore Wind. Thanet Offshore Wind had a single Swedish parent, Vattenfall, and lived happily ever after.
But there was also a strapping, teenage wind farm, and that one was called London 'Arry. 'Arry had two parents - German Ian and Anglo-Dutch Shell. But they got divorced. Then Ian discovered he was gay, and started seeing a Danish giant called Dong. But Ian became uncertain whether he was in fact gay, bisexual or merely bi-curious, so he introduced his middle eastern lady friend Masdar into the relationship.
Everything bumbled along quite happily for a bit. But then the money started running out, and they all had to go on benefits. Poor London 'Arry's growth was stunted, and the hundreds of jobs he had dreamed of generating for his home town of Ramsgate evaporated. The end.
Read poor London 'Arry's story in the Grauniad
London Arry's website