Have A Go On My Poll

Cripes! With our beloved council booting out a critical report by its own Standards Committee last night, resulting in the mass resignation of the committee's independent, public members, and with every meeting now seemingly the subject of squabbles over whether or not cameras should be allowed in, it feels like political business over at Thanet Duffer Central is rapidly descending into chaos.

Of course, TDC doesn't have a lardy, crack-crazed alcoholic for a leader, like they do in Toronto. But nonetheless, we have still managed to carve out our own little corner of political notoriety here in the tip of Kent!

Readers with long memories will recall that it was ever thus. In the eight years I've been writing this drivel, I can barely recollect a day when I said 'Hurrah for TDC!'. That goes for both the reds and the blues.

True, there are some intelligent, dedicated and hard-working councillors around, albeit thin on the ground. And I'm sure that somewhere in the bowels of the administrative machine there are people beavering away, and trying to do their best. It must be extremely frustrating for them to have to deal with the numpties in their midst, but let's hope that sense prevails, and that we all live long enough to see TDC transformed into a modern, transparent, fit-for-purpose organisation that does what it's supposed to do - serve the voters who pay for it.

There, I've had my two pennorth! Now you can have yours by voting in my 7 day poll in the sidebar on the right!

Rubbish Rubbish Collection Collection

With our lovely council's new, 'improved' system of bin collection just around the corner, my spies tell me that they're already struggling to cope with two wheelie bins per household, let alone the 4,583 bins we'll each have come November!

A reader from the grimy north of the island writes:

I want to know what happened to our bin men this morning. Everyone's bins were mixed up, are you seriously telling me a man can't take a wheelie bin from a property, empty it, and then return it to where he got it?!!!! Neighbours, including a lady pregnant with twins, have been out trying to find their own bins up and down the street. Apparently there are wide bins and skinny bins - who knew!?! I now possess a skinny one which wasn't mine before they came, but I haven't been able to get out and scour the neighbourhood for a wide-that-I-thought-was-standard-size bin!!!! HMPH!

Well that doesn't really bode well for next month, does it? Let's hope the £2,482,245 The Duffers have spent on a fleet of 15 new bin lorries proves worth it!!

Rubbish News

Wheelie Bad News

With our beloved duffers spending all our hard-earned council tax on events for Margate (which only benefit burger van owners from Clacton), it's no surprise that they can't afford to introduce wheelie bins in areas like central Ramsgate which desperately need them. They've stockpiled hundreds of the things down at the port, but say they can't be deployed as they're needed as 'replacements'. Well, here's a picture of the council's wheelie bin arsenal in February:

And here's another that was taken this weekend:

Now, I really haven't got the time to count them all, but from a quick glance I'd say that very few, if any, have been sent out as 'replacements'. In fact it's probably fair to say that nobody from the council has been down there in the past five months, as the ones that had been blown or kicked over in February still appear to be on their sides.

So what is the truth of Thanet Council's wheelie bin collection? Cynics might say that someone, somewhere cocked up and ordered way too many of the things for the number of bin rounds that are equipped to handle them, so they've just piled them up on a spare bit of council-owned land. I, on the other hand, prefer to put a much more sympathetic slant on it and would merely argue that they're a bunch on incompetent twats.

Council's Load Of Rubbish

Reader Ernie from Newington writes:

Hello. On Wednesday after leaving the doctors in Dumpton Park Drive I thought it would be nice to walk down to the sea front via Bellevue Rd. As I got to Arklow Square the druggies were waiting for their supplier to arrive (nothing new there), it was then that I noticed the mess that was strewn across the road. Almost without exception every bin bag had been SEAGULLED.

When I then looked along Augusta Road it was just the same. Good job the B&Bs have gone. I had to return to the doc's at tea time, got off the bus in Plains of Waterloo. Yes the bin bags had gone but the CRAP was still all over the road and pavements. I live on the Newington Estate and the road sweepers follow the bin men. Yes we do have wheelie bins but the spillage is cleaned up.

I thought you would like to know that us from up here in the 'jungle' do notice things, and I did call TDC. And I like to read your blog. Regards, Ernie.

Well Ernie, I can vouch for the fact that the East Cliff is looking decidedly grimy these days, following the decision by numb-nuts at the council to withdraw weekly sweeping, and to refuse wheelie bins for the refuse. You might like to know, however, that not all the B&Bs have gone. In fact the Glendevon in Truro Road is rated the best B&B on the island according to TripAdvisor! Quite what visitors make of the soiled nappies and crushed Stella cans lining the street, heaven knows.

As an illustration of just how crap the, er, crap looks, I've plucked this snap off the excellent FixMyStreet website, where you can complain to TDC to your heart's content!

Wind Farm Running Out Of Steam?

Once upon a time there were two wind farms growing up off the coast of our blustery island. One was an ickle baby wind farm called Thanet Offshore Wind. Thanet Offshore Wind had a single Swedish parent, Vattenfall, and lived happily ever after.

But there was also a strapping, teenage wind farm, and that one was called London 'Arry. 'Arry had two parents - German Ian and Anglo-Dutch Shell. But they got divorced. Then Ian discovered he was gay, and started seeing a Danish giant called Dong. But Ian became uncertain whether he was in fact gay, bisexual or merely bi-curious, so he introduced his middle eastern lady friend Masdar into the relationship.

Everything bumbled along quite happily for a bit. But then the money started running out, and they all had to go on benefits. Poor London 'Arry's growth was stunted, and the hundreds of jobs he had dreamed of generating for his home town of Ramsgate evaporated. The end.

Read poor London 'Arry's story in the Grauniad
London Arry's website

You Can Make Motoring Miles Better!

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Transport Editor Wynn Screenwiper

Here in Thanet we love our motors! Whether it be a bashed up banger, a white van the size of a double-decker bus, or that cherished P plate Peugeot with the hand painted bonnet, there's one thing you can say about Thanetians - we gotta have wheels! But with the price of petrol and diesel busting the £28 per litre barrier, keeping your motor running is fast becoming the sole prerogative of the posh, poncy few.

So how can you improve your MPG without going to all the hassle of GBH? (Eh? - Ed.) We asked a panel of motoring experts for their top tips (that didn't involve having a mate down the harbour with unlimited access to cheap marine diesel).

1. Yabadabadoo! Take a tip from the Flintstones - get a mechanic to cut a hole in your footwell, then in slow-moving traffic just turn off the engine and move your motor by manpower! Note: owners of Italian vehicles can save on the mechanic by merely applying a hefty boot to the floor panel.

2. It's a breeze! Make sure you always have a following wind whenever you set off on your journey. Be sure to check weather forecasts regularly for the right conditions to make your return trip.

3. Get hitched! If the car in front has a tow bar, gradually creep up until it hooks onto your front bumper. Then pop her in neutral and hey-presto! You're on your way to visit their Auntie Doris in Dorset!

4. Watts up Doc! It's a well known fact that it costs much less to power a vehicle using electricity. But the price of conversion is prohibitive. Not to worry - you already have an electric starter motor! Just drain the tank dry then travel everywhere by merely selecting first gear then turning the key in your steering column. Don't forget, though, to carry some high voltage cables to charge up whenever you're near a handy lamp post.

5. Put a Tiddles in your tank! Fed up with the cat just eating, sleeping and pooing all day? Turn it into biodiesel and make it earn its keep! One moggy makes around 2.5 litres, according to the inventor of the process, Dr Christian Koch.

(That's enough tips - Ed.)

EDF Off

Those garlic munchers at Électricité de France (EDF) did their best to ruin my soufflé earlier. Yet again their hamster fell off its wheel for a good 30 minutes or so.

My spies tell me the power cut was islandwide. Well, I say that, but I only happen to know that the lights also went out in Cliftonville. So they can hardly have noticed, one presumes.