Monday, April 27, 2009

Rent Boy

Although I'm well supplied here in the cliff top bunker for the essentials - tinned food, bottled water, chemical khazi etc - I'm a bit light on entertainment. All that's down here is a pile of old magazines and back issues of the local rags, awaiting recycling as liners for Bertie's litter tray.

I've been through a two foot pile of previously unread of PR Weeks and Televisuals, but there's only so many carefully posed photos of double-chinned PR execs with Osmondised teeth, and TV directors with that shrewdly creative look on their faces that they've been practising in front of the bathroom mirror since they were 12, that a man can take. So it's no wonder that this front page from a recent Isle of Thanet Gazunder leapt out at me.

'Breed Landlords - Save Money!' What a splendid idea! Once this crisis is over I'll need to repopulate the world and what better way than by breeding landlords!!! Of course, there'll be no Mexicans left, so Chihuahua landlords would be a no go. But there's no reason why I shouldn't breed miniature landlords or toy landlords. Think of all the rent I'll collect!!!!!! Hahahahaa!!!!

Hang on, I'm feeling a little queer. There seems... to be something wrong... with... the air filtration unit.... [Thud]

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you have the Thanet model of chemical khazi ?

Specially made to tolerate psychosexalone.

tony flaig bignews said...

Mr Puss is not overly bothered about your welfare but is worried about your cat, he wants to know if your bunker has a cat flap, since he fears Bertie might feel a bit stressed in the claustrophobic atmosphere of ECR dugout.

Lucy Mail said...

Don't worry about me, sweetheart. I made the switch just in time.
Do keep me appraised of any pug-flu outbreaks that may filter through your omnipresent news network, though!

Your concern would be more appropriate if Bertie were having to bunk with a hotdog munching, beer swilling lardy, Tony.
Fortunately that type usually have little enough respect for themselves to not worry about their health and well-being in that way!