Although I'm well supplied here in the cliff top bunker for the essentials - tinned food, bottled water, chemical khazi etc - I'm a bit light on entertainment. All that's down here is a pile of old magazines and back issues of the local rags, awaiting recycling as liners for Bertie's litter tray.
I've been through a two foot pile of previously unread of PR Weeks and Televisuals, but there's only so many carefully posed photos of double-chinned PR execs with Osmondised teeth, and TV directors with that shrewdly creative look on their faces that they've been practising in front of the bathroom mirror since they were 12, that a man can take. So it's no wonder that this front page from a recent Isle of Thanet Gazunder leapt out at me.
'Breed Landlords - Save Money!' What a splendid idea! Once this crisis is over I'll need to repopulate the world and what better way than by breeding landlords!!! Of course, there'll be no Mexicans left, so Chihuahua landlords would be a no go. But there's no reason why I shouldn't breed miniature landlords or toy landlords. Think of all the rent I'll collect!!!!!! Hahahahaa!!!!
Hang on, I'm feeling a little queer. There seems... to be something wrong... with... the air filtration unit.... [Thud]