New Ferry Firm 'All Piss And Wind'

Reports that a new ferry service between Ramsgate and Ostend will begin in the New Year have been described as 'all piss and wind' by the highly respected Army Rumour Service (ARRSE).

According to a post on the ARRSE website, several firms have been set up with a view to restarting the link to Belgium, including Yasmin Ferries, Regina Line and Sun Link. All the firms have been backed by an individual that ARRSE names as Ernst Munk, who boasted on his Facebook page as recently as 19 December that he would be starting a Ramsgate-Ostend service soon.

ARRSE concludes: 'If any of you are sent anything by a company called Yasmin Ferries at an address in Lydney, Gloucestershire, or someone calling himself Ernst Munk, burn it before it burns you.'

Rumours of a new service have also been circulating in Belgium. One ferry spotter in Ostend told The Daily Thanet over the weekend: 'The Larkspur ferry was sold again yesterday for €870,000, buyer unknown. The other laid-up ferry was sold for €750,000 to Oilchart, which has now chartered her for a new Ostend-Ramsgate line. Sunlink Ferries intend to start on 1 January 2014 with the Ardenia (ex TEF's Gardenia) and intends to put a second ferry on the line (a pure roro ferry). The third ferry would be a mixed passenger ferry and they intend to carry foot passengers.'

However, the Belgian source concludes: 'The strange thing is that neither (the port of) Ramsgate nor Ostend know anything about it.

The news comes in the week that Thanet Council argued it had been right to squander £3.4m of taxpayers' money in the now infamous Ferrygate deal, which saw the council secretly subsidising the route's former operators TransEuropa Ferries, who went bankrupt in April.

Meanwhile the Met Office has warned the south coast to expect substantial amounts of piss and wind over the next 24 hours, with 80mph gussets expected in the English Channel.

Gale Warning

Cripes! I would sooooo like to turn this into a caption competition, but my wolf pack of highly trained legal beagles have advised against it. Hey-ho.

With the St Jude storm about to hit our septic isle and mash everything to a gelatinous pulp, one of my correspondents has alerted me to another blast of dreadful wind which emanated from Sir Roger Gale, Member of Parliament for Fannit Norf since 1874, in the House of Commons this week.

As usual, Sir Rodge was guffing on about the airport in his customary, swivel-eyed manner (anyone recall his plan to turn Manston into the London Olympics Airport? Nope, nobody does, as it never happened.) Here's the entire text of his latest meanderings from Hansard:

I am delighted to see you in the Chair this afternoon, Madam Deputy Speaker. I am grateful to the hon. Member for Liverpool, Riverside (Mrs Ellman) for generating the opportunity for us to debate something of absolute national importance. Finally, I am pleased to see my hon. Friend the Minister on the Front Bench and welcome him to his new job. I look forward to welcoming him to Kent in the not-too-distant future - he does not know that, but it is going to happen.

I do not want to rerun yesterday's debate either, but during the debate on air passenger duty, the hon. Member for Blackley and Broughton (Graham Stringer) referred to the loss of business to Schiphol and Charles de Gaulle - he might have added Frankfurt - and several other locations in Europe. This is crucial for the economy of the UK. We cannot gainsay the fact that the economic hub of the nation is in London. There is much good business in Manchester, Birmingham and Scotland, but the place that people have got used to interlining through, and therefore also doing business in, is London.

Frequently people just change planes, but equally frequently they stop over. Because they are coming through London, they take the opportunity to take in a show or do business in the City of London. It is not just the thousands of jobs at Heathrow or Gatwick that are at stake and which we could lose to mainland Europe; this is about all the other, ancillary jobs, and the tourism and business that go with them. The cost to the country from the loss of aviation business in the south-east to mainland Europe is almost inestimable.

A long time ago, I upset my right hon. Friend the Member for Saffron Walden (Sir Alan Haselhurst) when I championed the cause of the airport at Stansted. I remember saying then, "It's not Heathrow or Stansted; it's Stansted or Schiphol." That is even truer today than it was then. If I need to underscore that point, KLM Royal Dutch Airlines and Air France are now flying from Manston, in Kent, twice daily to Schiphol, as they are from a number of other regional airports. They are not doing that for fun; they are doing it because they can see there is business to be taken, from the south-east of England in particular, to Schiphol to interline and to go on to all the other places in the world - literally, anywhere that it is possible to fly to from Schiphol. We cannot afford to sacrifice that business.

This debate is about aviation strategy, but my worry is that there is no aviation strategy. There is a commission, and Sir Howard Davies will do his job and report by 2015. Then there will be a debate and more discussion, and there will not be another strip of tarmac or another building, or a Boris island, for 20 years. That is how long it will take. We are losing business today - not tomorrow, in a year's time or in five years' time, but today. As we speak, business is transferring from the United Kingdom to the mainland European airports. We cannot afford to sustain that loss.

On the doorstep of London there is a place called Manston, in Kent. It has the fourth longest runway in the country - it has taken Concorde and wide-body jets - and it is available now. I am not suggesting for one moment that Manston could or should be another London airport, but I believe it could have a major role to play. In, I think, 2005 - I stand to be corrected - the right hon. Member for Edinburgh South West (Mr Darling) published his White Paper on the future of aviation in the south-east, but since then nothing at all has happened in any meaningful or constructive form, apart from perhaps another terminal at Heathrow. I put it to him at the time that Manston was available, and I was told, "No, it's too far from London" - 76 miles.

Let us think about that. Manston is quite a long way - it is further than Gatwick and Heathrow. Actually, it is not, at least not in time. I hope we will eventually finish High Speed 1- my hon. Friend the Minister might have a hand in that. Indeed, I have travelled on the existing line, with old rolling stock, in under an hour from central London to Manston, and if that was possible then, with High Speed 1, it is even more possible today. We can get the journey time down to about 50 minutes. It takes more than 50 minutes to get from central London to Heathrow and almost as long to get to Gatwick. Therefore, in terms of time rather than distance, which is what matters to the traveller, Manston is viable.

So what do we have? We have an airport sitting in Kent, out on the peninsular, relatively out of harm's way in terms of overflying, available today and under new ownership - Manston was sold and bought last week. Its future was in a bit of doubt because it was on the market, but it has now been bought, so it is secure, at least for the foreseeable future. Manston is there and I say to my hon. Friend the Minister and the House that we have to buy time if we are not going to lose more jobs. Manston is never going to be another London airport. What Manston can do is take traffic from Gatwick to release capacity, allow Gatwick to take traffic from Heathrow and free up the capacity there, which is what we need in the short term while the Government take long-term decisions. Manston is a national asset - not a regional or local asset - and we need to use it now. This country cannot afford to waste it.

If you haven't died from a boredom-induced stroke (quite how Our Roger kept the bright young things tuned in during his stint as a pirate DJ in the 60s is beyond me!), you'll have seen that he perpetuates one or two inaccuracies there. Did you spot them? No?

Well how about '(Manston is) relatively out of harm's way in terms of overflying'? Oh well, perhaps geography isn't his strong point. 'Is secure for the foreseeable future'? Business and commerce not a strong point either, clearly. Unless by 'foreseeable future' he means the end of next month.

'Fourth longest runway in the country?' Er, it's the 14th longest, actually.

No wonder the bigwigs in That London don't take Sir Roger seriously. They've twigged he's about as reliable as Michael Fish!

Speaking of which, I'd better tool off and batten down the hatches here at the old cliff top mansion. Let's hope nothing blows off during the night!!

East Of The Wantsum

Here's this week's EotW. As always, click it to big it.

After it went to print, London Array, the galaxy's biggest wind farm ever which is due to begin construction out of Ramsgate next year, announced that they were in fact prepared to scatter a few crumbs from their international table in the form of an open meeting for Thanet businesses next week. This will presumably be of interest to highly skilled workers such as taxi drivers, carpet fitters and double glazing installers. The meeting's next Wednesday 9 June at St Augustine's, Westgate.

London Array is, as you know, a mega consortium made up of Germans E.ON (Powergen in old money), Abu Dhabians Masdar and Danish giant DONG. I'm guessing your best bet for getting any work from them would be to turn up with a tea towel round your head, touting some bratwurst and a six pack of Carlsberg!

Click here for more details of next week's meeting

Wind Farm Running Out Of Steam?

Once upon a time there were two wind farms growing up off the coast of our blustery island. One was an ickle baby wind farm called Thanet Offshore Wind. Thanet Offshore Wind had a single Swedish parent, Vattenfall, and lived happily ever after.

But there was also a strapping, teenage wind farm, and that one was called London 'Arry. 'Arry had two parents - German Ian and Anglo-Dutch Shell. But they got divorced. Then Ian discovered he was gay, and started seeing a Danish giant called Dong. But Ian became uncertain whether he was in fact gay, bisexual or merely bi-curious, so he introduced his middle eastern lady friend Masdar into the relationship.

Everything bumbled along quite happily for a bit. But then the money started running out, and they all had to go on benefits. Poor London 'Arry's growth was stunted, and the hundreds of jobs he had dreamed of generating for his home town of Ramsgate evaporated. The end.

Read poor London 'Arry's story in the Grauniad
London Arry's website

Shit Sandwich

Before I toddle off and crack open my last magnum of Pétrus 1961, I thought it fair to warn you that if you're planning to go to Sandwich over the weekend, or indeed any weekend between now and November, my advice is don't bother.

Tucked away on page 39 of last week's Gazunder was this ad, detailing plans to spend the next 45 weekends or so digging up the A256.

It's all in a good cause, though. Well, they've got to get the juice from the fart farm into Richborough somehow!

Click on image to enlarge
Click here to go to Thanet Offshore Wind website

It's Another Ill Wind

A cunning plan to put the mockers on the view of the Turneresque sunsets from mARgaTe™'s embryonic Turnip Centre seems to have hit the doldrums. E.ON, one of three partners in the London Array, announced hundreds of job cuts this morning. The news comes only four days after E.ON's chief executive told the FT that the economics of the world's largest offshore fart farm are currently 'on a knife-edge'.

Better news though for the smaller Thanet Array, which is being masterminded from our lovely port here in the Millionaires' Playground. A salty seaman has emailed me to say:

The dredging that has (finally) started at Ramsgate is not so much to help the ferries from touching bottom (ooh madam) as to make some room so that the installation jack-up 'Sea Jack', her pontoon berth and the 'mono-pile' transport barges Osprey Carrier and E3501 can start work on the wind farm!! Honestly!!

Last week in Feb should see the first arrivals - dredging, crane trials, installation procedures, weather, Port Ramsgate, Nore Challenger, permitting.

Hurrah!

Click here to read E.ON interview in the FT

A Wood Night In Ramsgate

Not since the 70s has the seafront here in the Millionaires' Playground done such brisk trade! A steady stream of white vans, estates and flat bed trucks advertising 'professional building services' has been heading down Marina Road since dusk, all returning with bootloads, roofloads, even strapped-on loads of wood! Shed loads, in fact.

And there you have it. Forget spending millions on a Turnip Centre. Forget EU money to turn our lovely lido into a car park. Forget luxury apartments on the burnt out Pleasurama site. Nope, what will really bring the punters in, even on a cold, wet January night, is a few free planks of four by two!

Click here for story on BBC News website

Photos courtesy of diddalo bird

Click here for gallery on BBC Radio Kent website

Wood Chopper

Holy helicopters! I see my old chums at ITN have got their big, blue, throbbing chopper up to cover all the wood we've got down our front! Is there no limit to the innuendos that can be had from this story!

Wind Brings On Wood

As predicted on this blog on Monday, we now have wood. Tons and tons and tons of it! Right, I'm off down the front with the old chainsaw. At last, my tootsies will be warm again!

Click here for full story on Thanet Extra

Timber!

Timber galore!

Rotten spoilsports

Will You Get Wood In The Morning?

With 1500 tonnes of Swedish timber drifting up the Dover Strait, it's more than likely us Thanetians will indeed wake up with wood tomorrow morning - all over our lovely sandy beaches!

Fortunately our island's renowned resourcefulness when it comes to getting something for nothing will almost certainly ensure that it's gone by dinner time. Which is fortunate, as we wouldn't be able to rely on the duffers at our council to clear it much before Easter.

I myself will be down there, wielding my Stihl chainsaw, as one of the last things Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) did for me before running off with my lovely wife, Mrs Eastcliff (formerly Mrs Ceaucescu (no relation)) was install a wood burning stove here at the old cliff top mansion. Oh well, it's an ill wind!

Click here to read full story on BBC News website

Update: The Receiver of Wreck has said any wood washed up remains the property of the owner and must be reported. Yeah, right. Click here to read story on BBC News website.

Fart Farm News

Reader Brian writes:

Richard, as you were the only local blogger to accurately report the suspension of the Thanet Offshore Wind Farm construction in October (natch), I thought you might be interested to know that it is now back online. The Swedish energy company Vattenfall, owners of the Kentish Flats Wind Farm off Whitstable have bought the project off CRC the previous owners for a reported £35m.

The employment opportunities for locals will be fairly restricted during the construction stage, as the wind farm construction industry is very specialised, however I can foresee employment opportunities on the marine side, operating the support craft. The Port of Ramsgate will of course benefit by being the base for the support of the marine operations, and where a new berth will be built. There is also an 'Operations and Maintenance' building, to be constructed within the Port of Ramsgate, which it is envisaged that local builders will be given an opportunity to tender for. Further opportunities for local employment will be available for the 'Operation and Maintenance' stage of the project, which has a projected lifespan of 40 years.

It is hoped that the offshore construction will commence in February 2009, and the completion date is now late 2010.

And with my plan to turn West Cliff Hall (the Motor Museum in old money) into an exciting environmental adventure centre, the future of Ramsgate as 'the windy city' seems assured. Hurrah!

Twister!

Reader Steve from Ramsgate's swinging East Cliff writes:

Did any of your readers take a photo of that amazing waterspout/tornado thing that nearly sucked up the odd light aircraft on its way into Manston today? It looked quite close to the harbour and nearly caused a few car accidents as everybody was looking at the sky rather than the road! Or it may have just been me looking at the twister and everybody else trying to avoid me but hey ho.

Well, did anyone out there manage to snap it? If so, do send me a copy and I'll pop it on the blog for all to see. My email address, as ever, is in the top right hand corner.

Let's Go Fly A Kite

Don't forget it's the Big Sky Kite Festival over in the Arsonist's Playground this weekend. Last year it was held at Palm Bay, but this year it's shifted to Margate beach so in theory there should be a lot more to do other than watch kites oh who am I kidding? Unfortunately there's not a lot of wind about at the moment. At least not here on the south side, unless you count the hot air emanating from a certain cliff top mansion on the East Cliff.

Any-old-how, you could top the weekend off by catching Chas'n'Dave in concert at the Mike and Bernie Winter Gardens tomorrow night. Sorted!

Click here for more details of kite festival
Click here for details of Chas'n'Dave concert

Batten Down The Hatches!

Blow me! Twiddling my proverbials here at the cliff top mansion, I've been checking the BBC weather site for a break in the rain, in the forlorn hope that I might be able to whip out my old throbber and give it a bit of a thrashing.

But the latest forecast for North Kent predicts a remarkable -99mph wind, in no particular direction. Talk about climate change! And that just a week after the BBC forecast a record 232C heatwave for Windsor.

Still, the prediction has reminded me of an old joke. Q: Why doesn't the Isle of Sheppey float off into the North Sea? A: Because Kent sucks!

Hello, Hello, I'm Back Again

On second thoughts that may not be the most propitious of headlines.

My thanks to Sister Assumpta for keeping the big chair warm and, er, unsettlingly moist for the past week. I can thoroughly recommend Georgia for a break. The people are amazingly hospitable and the grub and glug are as cheap as chips. Although as the aforementioned grub and glug consists primarily of aubergine and fruity red wine, I practically propelled myself unaided the 2000 miles back to Heathrow.

Anyway, thanks to the prevailing wind I see I'm back just in time for the Wantsum Jazz Festival at our super-duperised, out-of-this-world East Cliff bandstand!

Dish Of The Day

With high winds buffeting the Millionaire's Playground again this morning, it looks like another great day for raising the roof, or popping out with your camera and snapping a few aerial photos!

Speaking of which I'm indebted to Mary, who describes herself as a 'fan' (Ooh! spare my blushes!), for the photo of this, er, dishy collection. Mary writes:

My dear Graham went home to visit his parents over the holiday. To avoid becoming house-bound, avoid parent overload, and generally do his body good, he walked your beloved Ile de Thanet, putting in about 5 miles each of the seven days he was home. He also made a photo journal of his travels. One of the sights that he noticed and found a need to document was the appearance of and proliferation of these pieces of (somewhat) necessary evil. The beautiful old architecture surely would benefit from a ban on these eyesores, but I wonder what new technology would be capable of invisibly replacing the necessity of the hardware? When that happens, I wish your council God-speed in passing a ban on them.

I couldn't agree more Mary!

Flie In The Ointment

My thanks to local brewer and all round Ramsgate legend the Gaddfather of Ale for sending in this piccie, which demonstrates that standards continue to remain, er, skie high at the Isle of Thanet Gazunder.

Ramsgate Roof Blows Off

Holy hurricanes! With winds gusting at 70mph here in the Millionaires' Playground, it's not surprising there's been some damage. Well, I say some damage, but it looks as if the entire roof of Gateway Court, here on the trendy East Cliff, has blown off!

Straw Pole

Blustering Beauforts! If anyone doubted there was enough wind in these parts to power the world's largest offshore fart farm, they should have tried walking along the East Cliff this morning! It had caused a bit of damage, too. I snapped this particular aerial stunt in one of those grubby back streets on my way into town.

If you recall, I had a moan about the widespread proliferation of these Jodrell Bank sized receivers back in April 2006, when I suggested that they were a health and safety requirement to accommodate the portliness of our local seagulls. Other theories have surfaced subsequently, such as the imminent hijacking of our digital TV services by our close neighbours the French. And in an unusual display of consideration for our splendid architecture, our beloved local council have even considered banning them.

If you ask me, when the occasional strong blast is causing them to blow off like this, I'd ban them not just on grounds of being unsightly, but of being potential death traps too. Blimey, if one of those bashed you on the bonce you'd be brown bread before you could babble 'Barrymore'!

Wind Up

Blimey! What an appropriately gusty day for the government to give the go-ahead for another 7,000,000 offshore fart farms. Mind you, it'll give my campaign to promote Ramsgate as The Windy City a boost. And add weight to my plans to convert our crumbling West Cliff Hall into a world class research centre for wind.

As some older Ramsgatonians may know, we're no strangers to wind here in the Millionaires' Playground. And to prove the point, Samantha has sent me another of her splendid clips. This illuminated windmill apparently used to stand somewhere on Ramsgate's West Cliff: