Hurrah! A week of frothy frolics has begun here in the Millionaires' Playground with the inaugural procession for the 2008 European Water Ski Racing Championships (Ramsgate Powerboat Weekend in old money) kicking off today at 4pm. Then there's an entire week of charging across the sea on planks culminating in the prize-giving next Saturday! Plus there'll be fireworks, funfairs, bands, beer and bungees for those of a less active bent.
With Thanet Council and Tiny Terry, our local property midgnate, coughing up almost 50 big ones in sponsorship, let's hope the weather holds. I hear that anything above a 15 knot wind might scupper proceedings, so fingers crossed. Still, the organisers have given the town a splendid write-up:
Ramsgate is situated on the southeastern tip of Kent and is a lovely coastal town with stunning architecture (at least some of which is still intact) and a real continental feel – it is closer to France than the county town of Maidstone (which is why no-one from Kent County Council ever comes here).... Ramsgate is home to the only Royal Harbour in the country and has a sparkling marina, award winning sandy beach and cliff tops that beg to be rambled (should you care to muscle the Heras temporary fencing out of the way).
So for the benefit of all the millionaires from across Europe and the UK who'll be flocking here over the next week, I've taken the liberty of preparing a short glossary of phrases they might find useful when mingling with the locals in our splendid bars and restaurants.
Oiyerkun! - Excuse me, but I believe you may have spilt my drink.
Gorrennyspliff? - I appear to have run out of pipe tobacco. Would it be possible to borrow some?
Gorrennyeeze? - A pint of your best Worthington bitter please, barman.
Inyerface kintossa - I beg to disagree with your opinion (generally used in political debates)
Ooyoolookinnat? - I don't like the cut of your jib, sir.
Yerra dymongeezaar - Please accept this tip with my compliments.
Sminginbruv - Please inform the chef that this fish is off.
Kinarsol - General term of approbation.
There. That, and the Astraeus lump that's currently doing low-level training circuits over the place every three minutes (presumably piloted by Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson, I kid you not) should ensure our visitors feel welcome!
Click here for water skiing timetable and course
Click here for local weather (real time)