Monday, July 21, 2008

Foreign Legion

Blimey! Thanet's premier town was rammed this afternoon! Numbers appeared to have been boosted by an influx of overseas students. Kuh! And you can see 'em a mile off, can't you? You can't, you say? Well then, here are my top ten tell-tale signs for spotting your teenage Johnny Foreigner:

1. Jaw not slack
2. Normal weight for age and height
3. Not tugging pit bull on string (male) or pushing pram (female)
4. Smartly dressed with no sign of Primark track suit pants
5. Absence of tattoos saying 'Dad'
6. Not carrying Costcutter bag full of White Lightning cans
7. Hair untainted by bleach
8. No large 'gold' chains
9. Not munching chips whilst screaming 'ASHLEY'
10. Looks unlikely to have banged in six inch nails with own head

There. So next time you're out and about give them my regards and wish them a jolly 'Bonjour'!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

nothing wrong with Primark clothes, i as a fortysomething get complimented on my primark clothes! You clothes snob you Richard!
Agree with you heartily about the rest of the traits though. Worse thing i hate is british teenagers always swearing esp when i am with my delicate eared 9 and 10 year olds - so unnecessary and unpleasant for anyone.Also the way they often push elderly off the pavements too! As for tatooed bodies Thanet is full of them!

Regular Loop traveller said...

Most of the foreign visitors I met on the bus yesterday were young Spaniards - very well behaved - one twelve year old even tried out his English on me - just wish they didn't talk so loudly when they are all together

Anonymous said...

ECR you aging hypocrite.

You played merry offended over the word "Gippo".

You have penned a definition of the archetypal Thanetian.

All we need now, to indulge a feeling of enlightened offence, is a noun for your defintion.

Primarck wearing Fannit ....

A Prickfan ?

Oh oh oh ECR perhaps he does not realise that using terms like "Prickfan" is offensive.

Eastcliff Richard said...

You're quite right, I was offended when you used the term 'Gippo' in a derogatory, racist manner on Thanet Life Rick/Irritating bloke.

As for being Primarkist, I take your point 7.48am. I'll pop into their flagship store on Oxford street next time I'm in the smoke and see if their undercrackers measure up to M&S's!

Anonymous said...

The other difference is they are polite and civil when spoken to.

Anonymous said...

The noisy and unruly teens only leave an impression because they are exactly that. There are plenty of decent teenagers.

Anonymous said...

most of them are nice well behaved middle class kids whose parents have sent them away to improve their education . In their own towns you would probably find some pretty scummy ones who would never contemplate coming to learn a language, too poor or too thick.
On the ilse we see too many local chavs who sadly never go anywhere, so we think it is a problem with all teenagers. It is a problem with thick people having thick kids as Frank Field calls it , " the race to the bottom " . It is not race, it is class and upbringing .

Anonymous said...

I hope they are warned about the local chavs in their English schools? i feel really sorry for the foreign kids when i see the chavs circling... I have seen lots of attacks over the years in Westgate, Margate and Ramsgate on foreign kids, it is shameful but if you step in you get smashed up as well, they don't care, its all a game. very sad.

Maisiegrace said...

Nice one ECR! Anyone who comes to Thanet to study must acquire a very distorted view of the British public. It is so embarrassing, and sad when we are surprised by 'normal' behaviour. If only the chavs could see themselves - except they can't because they have never travelled, and never will. Thanet has a major problem - chavviness is the symptom, but underclass is the issue.

steve said...

nothing to do with class. everything to do with parenting. Bad parents, rich or poor, will create little sh1tbags, regardless of attire - primark or prada.
11.58 - next time you see the vultures gathering, call the police or step in. doing nothing is not an option.