Interesting Developments

Hey-ho! What more interesting way to spend a wet Thursday afternoon than putting together a round-up of some of the fantastic building developments going on here in the Cannes of Kent?

Pleasurama (aka Royal Sands, artist's impression above): Work about to start, we're told, on a vast complex of shops, hotels and luxury apartments. About time too, as the site has been a blot on the Ramsgate coastscape for the best part of a decade. Set to become 'the jewel in Ramsgate's crown' according to the estate agent. However, according to our local biblio-bloke Michael Child, who's seen the plans, it could be more a case of 'the concrete in somebody's head' as living space shrinks to avoid the flood plain at the bottom and the height restriction at the top.

Victoria Road (Dorman's Yard): Best not to mention this one as despite the fact that it's nearing completion, it could be about to be demolished due to a breach of planning.

Granville Court: Completed a few years ago, with Phase 2 waiting in the wings, the rumour is that only a few of the 40 or so apartments have sold. I thought I'd better double check this with Oakleigh Developments, but their website doesn't exist, and my email bounced back with an 'undeliverable' notice. I'm afraid at that point curiosity got the better of me, and a quick check at Companies House revealed that their accounts are listed as overdue. I also discovered a winding-up petition against them from last year, although I've been unable to discover the outcome. Perhaps it's no wonder their Phase 2 site is rapidly reverting to its previous bomb site status.

So, there you have it! From eyesore to luxury apartments and back to eyesore again in three easy steps!

Update: Reader Jean writes: I have been complaining to the council for months about the state of the fence at the rear of Granville Court, which blew down in February. Fly-tippers have been having a field day and the site, which contains deep excavations, is a hazard, especially to curious children. This week I sent them a rather stern email after they failed to respond to my latest official complaint within ten days - their own service level agreement - and threatened to go to the local papers. Lo and behold, today they are fixing the fence. We shouldn't have to resort to such extremes just to get simple problems resolved. The site is opposite a guest house, heavens knows what visitors to Ramsgate must think.

Blue Act For Granville Theatre

Yet more evidence, if it was needed, that Ramsgate's trendy East Cliff is the place to be. Work on tarting up the exterior of our super-duper Granville Theatre-ma has finished, and although it still bears more than a passing resemblance to a public toilet block on steroids, the tasteful shade of light blue is a definite improvement on the previous tones of sh*te brown.

With the private sector doing its bit to beautify the area, what a shame our local council can't get off its lardy backside and return the compliment by fixing the two adjacent Victorian shelters which have been 'undergoing repair' since February.

June: Brown

August: Blue

Separated At Birth?

Reader Samantha writes:

I wonder if anyone else has spotted a similarity between Jack Hawkins, the rugged stalwart of 50s and 60s British films, and Sandy Beach, our rugged Thanet Council leader? Are they by any chance related?

Bridge Over The River Kwai

Bridge Over The River Wantsum

Dognappied

This takes the dog biscuit. After it's passed through the pooch, that is. My thanks to Mr X for the photo, but this is absolutely, definitely, positively my final post on barker's nests and what to do with them.

Tomorrow I return to weightier matters, and will reveal... ah, but you'll just have to come back then and find out!

Scoopez Le Poop

Yikes! This blog is rapidly degenerating into one of those silly sign sites. This latest is from reader Glenn (of Terracotta fame), who spied it in Poopignan, er, Perpignan in the south of France. Loosely translated it says:

Make a clean gesture: use the bags provided for you in this distributor.

I'm not sure it would work around here, though. The chances of anyone making a clean gesture if you asked them to scoop up after their pit bull are about as likely as getting a fly-tipping problem resolved by Thanet District Council!

Ramsgate Property Goes Through The Roof

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Property Editor Brickson Mortar

Ramsgate has come top of the seaside property league in a recent survey by the Halifax Building Society. According to the society's number-crunchers, homes in Ramsgate have increased in value by nearly 40% over the past three years, the highest increase in the whole of the south east.

And in the past year, the isle's premier town has only been pipped by Burnham on Crouch and Margate (Can we leave that out? - Ed.)

A spokesman for the Halifax told the Gazunder: 'Whilst other seaside towns across the UK have done better, as far as the south east is concerned Ramsgate was certainly the place to buy three years ago. Unfortunately now it's dear as poison so our advice is to flog granny's bungalow while the going's good, and p*ss off to Bulgaria'. (Shurely shome mishtake? - Ed.)

Ramsgate: bloody expensive

Jet Vote

With all the recent controversy over training flights at Manston, I thought it might be an idea to gauge public opinion. So I've initiated a poll on my sidebar which will run for the next seven days.

Update: Reader Tony suggested that I contact the airport with my idea that they might at least give advance warning of training flights on their website. I emailed them this morning, here is their response:

Dear Mr. Eastcliff, thank you for your email and for your practical suggestion. We shall certainly look in to this initiative. Regards, Customer Services.

Tell Tale Signs

Yesterday's appeal for signs spotted by readers on their travels has really opened up the sluice gates. Mr X sent in the above, which, although it's not officially recognised by the Commission on International Signs and Symbols, is nonetheless pretty clear in its meaning. Mr X also contributed this:

Perhaps if we were to adopt a similarly direct approach with our signage here on Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula, it might prove more effective?

Scooby Doo-Doo

I appear to have struck a rich, um, vein. Following the publication of that barker's nest warning sign last week, 'Don't Doo-Doo' notices from around the world are now winging their way to my inbox on a daily basis.

Regular reader Millicent spotted this one in Germany. Having popped it into the old Alta Vista Babel Fish, it translates thus:

We find sh*ts. Dear owners of dog, dog excrement on sidewalks must from them immediately be removed. On the other hand to threaten up to €50 fine.

Ah, you can rely on the Germans to be blunt about these things. And I expect the fines are rigorously enforced too. If anyone has any further examples, my inbox is always open. eastcliffrichard@yahoo.co.uk

And don't forget that our local ace reporter Kathy Bailes is looking for examples of lorry drivers doing disgusting things over on our less salubrious West Cliff. If you've witnessed anyone depositing, er, an illegal load, or you're concerned about the increasing number of lorries that are parking there, give her a call at the Gazunder on 578992.

Bullet Train Bulletin

I see today's Observer is reporting that our new Japanese bullet trains are due in at Southampton docks any time soon. The super-duper, 140mph service will run from 2009, and cut the journey time from the Millionaires' Playground to London's newly revamped St Pancras down to just over an hour. Or just over an hour and 20 minutes if you're a Conservative.

Our train operator is quoted in the newspaper as saying that 'property prices are heading north' because of the new link. I presume that means that the price of a semi in Ramsgate will soon be so eye-watering that people might be forced to consider buying in Margate.

Full Observer report

There's A Kind Of Hush 2

Oh dear. I should have kept my big trap shut. Here come Oozalum Airways again to blast jet fuel over the picknickers on our beach every five minutes!

Update: Here's what Wikipedia says about Oasis Hong Kong Airlines, the people responsible for this particular lump of aluminium. They're a budget, long haul airline (yep, it's a long way from Manston to, er, Manston) based in Hong Kong. They currently own three 747s, with another three due for delivery. In the UK they fly out of Gatwick, which is where they should stay if you ask me.

Oasis was founded by the Reverend Raymond Lee and his lovely wife Priscilla in 2005. There's a background interview with him here. According to the Rev:

I was born into a wealthy business family in Hong Kong. But I never seriously contemplated a career in business. If anything, I was appalled by the strains in familial relations that had been wrought by the love of money. I decided, instead, to serve mankind.

If the word ‘spiritual’ is properly understood to mean ‘bringing enormous benefit to people in all walks of life’, I’m a deeply spiritual man!

Yeah right. Tell that to the people who can't hear themselves pray in St George's on a Sunday, Rev.

Deja Vu?

So, a derelict site in a seaside town has burnt down, not long after it was bought by an arcade owner. Hmmm. Why does that not surprise me?

There's A Kind Of Hush

Lumme! I really am stuck in a 60s groove at the moment, now I'm getting an attack of the Herman's Hermits!

What I meant to say was how marvellously peaceful it's been here in the Millionaires' Playground for the last week or so without those knackered old Jumbo Jets flying over every ten minutes. And as far as I know, nobody's even had to chain themselves to the RAF London Kent Ramsgate Manston International Airport gates to achieve it!

Actually, you could say it's been a bit too quiet. I mean, isn't this the peak holiday season? Aren't there meant to be queues as far back as Bristol just to check in at Heathrow? And haven't several people recently died of old age waiting to go through security at Gatwick?

So where's the thriving holiday traffic Manston were boasting about in the papers just a week or so ago? Not one of my roof tiles has been blown off by a jet aircraft for days. Not that I'm complaining. As you know, I'm currently running a No.10 petition to get our local council to implement better regulation of those blasted training flights. And as part of my campaign, I've already had some interesting feedback from Airport Watch and the Campaign to Protect Rural England, so watch this (air)space!

Lazing On A Sunny Afternoon

Well the fish aren't biting and the tea's gone cold. The tax man's taken all my dough and left me in my stately home, lazing on a sunny afternoon. I can't even sail my yacht, he's taken everything I've got.

Oops. I appear to have fallen into a Kinks-fuelled timewarp there, sorry. No, the reason for the nostalgia attack is because I've just found Radio Caroline on the web. Since I relocated to Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula, I can't count the number of times that people have come up to me and said: Do you remember the days when you used to be able to get Radio Caroline round here blah boats sinking blah masts snapping blah police raids blah Marine Offences Etc. Act 1967 blah blah blah. I can't count the number of times because, um, there haven't actually been any. But I wouldn't want the truth to get in the way of a good story.

Any road, you can now listen to the former pirates, still pumping out their eclectic mix of 60s and 70s favourites (plus a few newies), but no longer on 259 medium wave. These days they're on broadband, or on your MurdochVision thingy, if you're that way inclined. And they've forsaken the North Sea to broadcast instead from a nice air-conditioned studio in Maidstone. About the only good thing to come out of the place, if you ask me.

Zzzzzzzz

Ho-hum. It seems everyone's moaning about the lack of enthusiasm in mondo blog at the moment.

Big Blog Adem and Big News Tony have both complained of a certain ennui creeping into their jottings, and I know how they feel. Of course, Councillor/Doctor Doctor/Councillor Moores still has his crack team of ex-Daily Mail hacks grinding out the same old stuff day in, day out, but that's only to be expected.

Is it worth telling you that Muffin the Mule appears to be struggling to make ends meet? Nah, probably not. Or that, according to my insiders at the Beeb, the factual and documentary departments are still running around like the proverbial headless chickens after that spot of bother with the Queen? Nah, who cares?

Nope, it's back to the old fishing rod, methinks. And a nice Thermos of tea.

Graphic Warning

Yurgh! What dreadful weather we're experiencing this afternoon here on Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula! Nothing but gales and sideways rain.

To cheer us all up, regular reader Mr X, winner of last year's Joke Week/Weak Joke competition, has sent me this:

Not the new logo for the Snake Charmers' Union, or directions to the local Cumberland sausage factory, but rather the internationally recognised sign for 'Warning! Barker's Nests Ahead!'

Nice one, Mr X. I'll be putting in an express order for several hundred to be distributed around the East Cliff forthwith!

Vicars In A Twist

Holy underwear! I see from the front page of today's Isle of Thanet Gazunder that the vicar of St Peter's Church, the Reverend Brian Moore, has run off with his Sunday school teacher!

The news gives an entirely new complexion to the phrase 'Sunday service', but the writing was on the internet for those in the know as the Randy Rev applied a couple of weeks ago for planning permission for an erection. Of two free-standing, non-illuminated signs outside his church.

I'm not allowed to reproduce the signs, which can be found on the UK Planning website, for copyright reasons. But here's a passable mock-up:

What A Yacht I've Got!

Excitement is mounting in Boredstares, I'm told, where Victorian bathing costumes are about to make way for the thrills and spills of hemp smocks and bladders on sticks.

Yes, the Dickensians are eagerly anticipating their annual Folk Week (or Drunk Week as it's become known locally), which kicks off today. Around 150,000 men and women with beards are expected to descend on the UK's second best seaside town, turning the camp site at Upton School into a mini version of Glastonbury, with the waft of illicit drugs such as Old Nutty Shag and Nadger's Dorchester Wobbly permeating the air.

Meanwhile, here in the Millionaires' Playground, we're anticipating something much more salubrious. Ramsgate Week, organised by our very own Shirley Temple Yacht Club, will see the cream of the yachting fraternity hoity-toiting on land and sea for six days as of tomorrow. According to the lovely Commodore Davena Green, 'Ramsgate Week now provides a real alternative to Cowes', which presumably has had to be cordoned off this year due to foote and mouthe.

Due to one or two financial transactions still being in the, er, pipeline I shan't be participating in the sailing. But you will be able to spot me in my Captain's cap, brass buttoned blazer and deck shoes with the salty seamen on the front. I might even get my Rolex Oyster (Whitstable Edition) back from Hiltons for the occasion. And I'll definitely be rooting out my CockSox swimmers for the Hunks in Trunks competition!

Avast behind! Participants prepare to get their bottoms scraped
at last year's Ramsgate Week

Blue Rags Beach

To the Margate Carnival yesterday. By George, you couldn't have wished for better weather!

And it wasn't just the sun that was out. Our glorious council leader Sandy Beach was mingling with the crowds, pressing the flesh. Dressed in Tory blue top and shorts, of course, accompanied by his charming blonde partner, who was also sporting party colours in the form of a pale blue, flowery summer dress.

Still, somehow the carnival wasn't quite the same this year without the traditional fire to finish it all off.

Update: For the curious among you, one of my readers appears to have captured our Sand and his lovely companion here:

For the sake of disambiguation, Sandy's the chap in blue on the right walking like a former boxer. Which is in fact what he is, apparently.

Live From Margate!

Yes, I'm still on holiday. But I couldn't resist commenting on the fact that Bev and Geoff from BBC South East Today have struggled all the way over from Tunbridge Wells to present their teeny-tiny news from the Arsonists' Playground today. You've got to admire their, er, neck.

Don't expect any hard-hitting journalism, though (as if). Embarrassing questions about Turnips, The Theatre Royal, Dreamland, etc. are off the agenda, I hear, as part of a contradeal not to mention diddling Blue Peter viewers, upsetting the Queen, and that nastiness yesterday at Maidstone Crown Court. Instead we'll be treated to the usual spin about 'turning the corner' and, um, fish and chips.

Who knows, maybe I'll wander over there with my 'Ramsgate's Miles Better' banner!

Meanwhile I see from today's Gazunder that the council's newly inserted artistic director at the Theatre Royal is to put on his own adaption of Homer's Odyssey as part of an exciting new autumn programme. Crikey, that should get the Margate punters flocking. Although to give him credit, it could just be that he's jumping on the Simpsons bandwagon.