Well the fish aren't biting and the tea's gone cold. The tax man's taken all my dough and left me in my stately home, lazing on a sunny afternoon. I can't even sail my yacht, he's taken everything I've got.
Oops. I appear to have fallen into a Kinks-fuelled timewarp there, sorry. No, the reason for the nostalgia attack is because I've just found Radio Caroline on the web. Since I relocated to Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula, I can't count the number of times that people have come up to me and said: Do you remember the days when you used to be able to get Radio Caroline round here blah boats sinking blah masts snapping blah police raids blah Marine Offences Etc. Act 1967 blah blah blah. I can't count the number of times because, um, there haven't actually been any. But I wouldn't want the truth to get in the way of a good story.
Any road, you can now listen to the former pirates, still pumping out their eclectic mix of 60s and 70s favourites (plus a few newies), but no longer on 259 medium wave. These days they're on broadband, or on your MurdochVision thingy, if you're that way inclined. And they've forsaken the North Sea to broadcast instead from a nice air-conditioned studio in Maidstone. About the only good thing to come out of the place, if you ask me.