RoRo Yer Boat Gently Down The Income Stream

There'll be a rustling of brarn envelopes down at our lovely port tomorrow, as the sealed bids are opened in the race to become Thanet Council's appointed consultant with the unenviable task of finding a RoRo operator to replace TransEuropa Ferries.

The, er, 'lucky' winner will have until June next year to entice an operator to the port, and will get a percentage of whatever income that attracts. Presumably the lowest percentage (or the envelope stuffed with the most fifty pound notes) wins.

The council's tender document, a copy of which I have in my hot little hands, states:

The Council has a desire to attract a ferry service(s) back to the Port of Ramsgate, as having an active ferry service assists in regenerating the locality, delivering jobs and retains skills within Thanet.

The Port of Ramsgate knows that it can deliver the relevant services to a ferry provider as it has successfully facilitated operational support for previous operations.

The Council’s aim is to have one or more ferry companies operating out of the Port of Ramsgate to regain public confidence in the both the Council and the Port of Ramsgate. It raises morale within residents of Ramsgate and brings support businesses to the area.

'Successfully facilitated operational support for previous operations', eh? Well you can't argue with that, can you? I'd say that stuffing £3.4m worth of our council tax into a dead duck was a right little morale booster for Ramsgate residents, wouldn't you?

Long term readers will recall that the last time we were on the verge of getting a new ferry operator was in 2009, when I made the above video commemorating the imminent arrival of Euroferries' new vessel Bonanza Express. Needless to say, it never did arrive. Neither has their latest ghost ship, despite it being trumpeted all over their website.

On the plus side, warm and heartfelt congratulations are due to me for clocking up half a million page views since July 2008 (and more than three quarters of a million since I started this blog in January 2006, according to Site Meter). Three cheers for me!!!!!

Ostend Of An Era?

Effortlessly piloting my graceful Bentley Continental Flying Toss back to the Millionaires' Playground this afternoon, following a week at my Chelsea pad for the funeral of the century and a recording of the new series of Celebrity Nipples for Dave, I couldn't help but notice that our lovely TransEuropa Ferries in our lovely Royal Harbour/Port had been replaced by a floating hotel!

It got me to pondering what was going on with TransEuropa Ferries (TEF), as I rarely see the old tubs wending their way across to Belgium from my captain's lookout here at the cliff top mansion these days. So I emailed my old chums with the anoraks and binoculars on the other side of the briny, and this is their response:

You may well have noticed that Ramsgate port is 'ferryless' at the moment. Yesterday the Ostend Spirit (formerly the Pride of Calais) returned to their owners P&O for lay up at Tilbury. Strange that the Thanet press didn't pick up the story.

In short Transeuropa have some problems, and it seems that the owners the Dias brothers are wrapping up the company their father left them. They have sold two ferries that operated in the Med to Russian interests. The two ferries were moneymakers as they were chartered to the biggest Spanish ferry operator TRASMED for service between Spain and Morroco.

If TEF goes then at least 10 jobs will go directly with some indirectly such as security, cleaning and jobs at Orbit import-export, based at Ramsgate ferry port.

Blimey! Now, following a little, er, misunderstanding with Euroferries (Where are they now?! - Ed.) a few years back, I hasten to add that no-one is saying that TransEuropa have sunk. Let's be absolutely clear on that. But it does seem a little fishy! (Geddit??!!!!!???!!!??!!!!!!!!)

Especially as a visit to TEF's website is currently resulting in a big, fat empty load of white space.

Meanwhile I suppose we must welcome C-Bed to the Cannes of Kent. They provide floating hotels for windfarm workers, enabling them to be on the job 24/7. According to C-Bed's website, they use 'leather and other luxurious materials' to make sure their floatels 'are a place to unwind, sit back and get ready for the next day without worrying about cleaning, cooking, or getting to or from work'.

Fit for a millionaire, I'd say!

Click here for more on the current state of TEF in the Belgian newspaper De Tijd.
Update: The Gazunder has finally caught up with this story. Click here for more.

Island In The Sun

Where else could you trot out on this nice, sunny morning for your cliff top walk and witness a millionaire basking in the sun at 9am?

This particular captain of industry was relaxing on the cliff top in the comfort of his blue and white sun lounger, soaking up the rays, and enjoying a tin of high class Stella Artois, which, as I'm sure you've gathered from their advertising, is a tincture so expensive that it really is only affordable by the rich and famous.

Proof yet again that the Cannes of Kent is attracting quality tourism, even this late in the season!

Corporate B*ll*cks

Bev, my agent, has booked me in for one of those corporate jobs. I'm not normally one to prostitute my art, but the gas bill has just arrived.

On the one or two previous occasions I've presented corporate videos, I've always been struck by the appalling taste in art these large organisations possess. One company had an enormous statue of a naked Greek god proudly standing in front of its revolving doors, greeting all and sundry with the unavoidable sight of its rather over-exaggerated but nonetheless muscular buttocks. But the prize for the best example of arse gratia artis must go to a well-known utility company based in the Home Counties.

When this particular company moved into its shiny new glass palace, the then CEO decided that what it really needed to finish the whole thing off was a statue of a prancing stallion on the roundabout which stood between the east and the west wings. He owned several Ferraris, I seem to recall. However, the artist must have latched on to the testosterone fuelled nature of this commission, and endowed the statue with the heftiest set of equine testicles ever to grace a company forecourt. After a few weeks, and a myriad of complaints, the crestfallen artist was recalled and made to remove the offending spheres with an angle grinder.

The Deputy CEO told me that story, whilst we were waiting for the cameras to be set up. He was a much more amiable cove than the top man, and had therefore been chosen to be the face of the company. His office was on the opposite side of the building to the CEO's. 'He gets to look at the horse's head, and I get to stare at the arse all day,' I remember him saying. 'Shows which way my career's going.' Sure enough, he was history within a year.

Ramsgate Property Goes Through The Roof

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Property Editor Brickson Mortar

Ramsgate has come top of the seaside property league in a recent survey by the Halifax Building Society. According to the society's number-crunchers, homes in Ramsgate have increased in value by nearly 40% over the past three years, the highest increase in the whole of the south east.

And in the past year, the isle's premier town has only been pipped by Burnham on Crouch and Margate (Can we leave that out? - Ed.)

A spokesman for the Halifax told the Gazunder: 'Whilst other seaside towns across the UK have done better, as far as the south east is concerned Ramsgate was certainly the place to buy three years ago. Unfortunately now it's dear as poison so our advice is to flog granny's bungalow while the going's good, and p*ss off to Bulgaria'. (Shurely shome mishtake? - Ed.)

Ramsgate: bloody expensive

Bullet Train Bulletin

I see today's Observer is reporting that our new Japanese bullet trains are due in at Southampton docks any time soon. The super-duper, 140mph service will run from 2009, and cut the journey time from the Millionaires' Playground to London's newly revamped St Pancras down to just over an hour. Or just over an hour and 20 minutes if you're a Conservative.

Our train operator is quoted in the newspaper as saying that 'property prices are heading north' because of the new link. I presume that means that the price of a semi in Ramsgate will soon be so eye-watering that people might be forced to consider buying in Margate.

Full Observer report

Painting The Town White

As we all know, Ramsgate is on the up and up. Not only is the trendy East Cliff's Granville Cine-theatre-ma getting a long overdue lick of paint, but this, erm, hut opposite our imposing railway station is also receiving the millionaire treatment.

One of our local bear hench bigwigs told me over a beverage the other evening that those nice people at Pierremont Cars have bought the place and are planning to run a swish car hire centre from it. Bentleys and Mercs only, one presumes. And so handily positioned for all those City types alighting from the futuristic fast train service!

Actually, I think it's a charming piece of art deco architecture which has been neglected for too long. Did you know it used to be the Ramsgate tourist information bureau? Yes, you probably did. And I think I know a bibliophile who might have a photo of it from its heyday. Michael, a link please!

Rich's Rich List

With the publication of the Sunday Times Rich List today, I've had my own team of researchers (Mr Ceaucescu (no relation)) assess our local zillionaires. Here's the Thanet top ten:

1. Lord Richard of East Cliff - £950m (Media and universal adoration)
2. Sir Roger de Courcey - £900m (Old people and hand puppetry)
3. Jimmy Dreamland - £600m (Property and amusement parks)
4. Sir Thorley Tavern - £500m (Fags and booze)
5. Lord Sir Dr Moores of Westgate - £200m (Ads and droning on)
6. Robert Builder - £150m (Luxury apartments)
7. Sandy Beach - £80m (Carpets)
8. That Bloke From The Costcutter - £34m (Groceries and tourism)
9. Ronnie Corbett - £46 (Kiosk)
10. Sir Richard Branston - 38p (Begging on Victoria Parade)

Much the same as last year, with the exception of That Bloke From The Costcutter who's soared into the top ten following the success of his £1000+ cruises from London to Ramsgate.

New York, London, Paris, Munich, Everybody's Talking 'Bout...

Um, Ramsgate. Or so it seems.

Here's the story. Last night I'm at a chum's wine bar in Bloomsbury, when this billionaire City type at the next table starts telling his pals in a very loud voice how he's relocating to Ramsgate. Part of his plan appeared to be to buy up RAF London Kent Ramsgate Manston International Airport so that he didn't have those ancient jumbos coming in to land ten feet above his bonce, and turn it into a housing estate cum wind farm. Apart from retaining a small helicopter landing pad so he could commute to the City in 30 minutes. I kid you not.

Then tonight I'm slumming it in the World's End in Chelsea, when a couple of rather camp TV director types at the table opposite start going on about how they're planning to buy a place in Ramsgate if their new Channel 4 series comes off.

Now I know I'm a bit of a trend setter, but this is getting ridiculous. The next thing you know, I'll be earwigging London conversations about how people are buying properties in Margate. No, no that's too silly for words.

The Film Of The Blog

Well what do you know - I've BoobTubed myself!

Give Us A Bigger Clu!

by Gazunder Property Editor Bentley Continental

Everyone's piling into property in Ramsgate! With the News of the World tipping Thanet's premier town as a millionaires' playground in the making, it's no wonder city slickers are desperate for a slice of the Ramsgate action.

Hot on the heels of news that Harbour Street Village is to be converted into a swish gastro pub, the Gazunder can now reveal that Ramsgate's Comfort Inn, formerly the San Clu, has applied for planning permission to build 22 luxury apartments and a top notch conference centre on adjacent land that has been empty since Jerry blitzed the place in World War II. Or was it World War I?

Anyway, a local millionaire, who didn't want to be named, told the Gazunder: 'This is great news for Ramsgate. The Tatler are touting Hastings as the new Notting Hill. If that's the case, Ramsgate must be the new Chelsea!'

Full details of the San Clu plans can be found here.