Friday, July 09, 2010

Golfing News

Lilliputian laughtermaker Ronnie Corbett will be opening the new clubhouse at Stonelees Golf Centre on Sunday. Here he tells the Isle of Thanet Gazunder about his Margate memories...

Thank you, thank you. Now when the Editor asked me to, you know, write something for this, for this newspaper, I remember it well, because we were having a drink at the time. And that's a very unusual thing. You know, for him to buy me, or indeed anyone, a drink. So I remember it quite vividly. 'Ron,' he said, 'Ron,' he always calls me Ron. Well, no, it's an interesting theory of his. He reckons that 'Ronnie' is too big a name for such a small person. No, he does. The fact that he's only 4 foot 2 and likes to be known by his friends as Aloysius doesn't seem to strike him as at all, you know, hypocritical. Anyway, anyway, to get back to the story. 'Ron,' he said, 'Ron, I'm editing this newspaper, and, you know, I'd like to give the little guys a chance to contribute. You're quite little, and you're opening this clubhouse, I think you'd be the ideal person to write our golfing column.' He's a bit of a charmer, you see, and, no, no actually, actually I was quite touched. And I had had several G and Ts at the time. So, no, no, to get back to the story, this man walks into a shop...

[That's enough golfing news - Ed]

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

... so this man walked into a shop and found himself present at a counter demonstration. No, no not the ban the BNP sort of counter demo. No this man was slicing vegetables using some sort of Japanese instrument. It resembled a miniature slide with a cheesewire taut across it half way down.

"Ron", he said, "Ron you could fit on here to take a slide and a slice off yer buttocks if you like."

"Why?", I asked, "Would I do that ?"

"Flat arse", he answered, "Stop you rolling about in that chair that's too big for you."

Richard Eastcliff said...

Um...