Only in your super, soaraway Eastcliff Richard! Each week top Thanet politician Sandy Beach gives us his insight into the island!!!
Bloody 'ell! The fuckin' Standards Committee 'as got me by the short an' bleedin' curlies!!!??? Fuckin' tossers!! An' there's me wiv a fuckin' yot an' five 'arses to support!!! Evvrywun's fucked off wiv me. All 'cos ov some fuckin' pertishun!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's all the fault ov them flamin' reporters. Tossers. Wankers. Fuckin' tossers!!!! I woz gonna giv 'em a job but they can stick it up their arses!!! In my face, yer friggin', whinin' bar stewards! In my chuffin' face!!!!
I say 'shut yer fuckin' pie holes yer leftie twats'. We owe it to the island's carpet shops to maxermise oppertunities an' 'elp acheeve our electers dreams an' asperations by 'andin' over their 'ard earned fer a luvvly bit of shagpile!!!!!??????!!!!!
That's enough diary - Ed.