Thursday, March 26, 2009

Hell's Grannies


News that a 107 year old woman from Tunbridge Wells has done the ton around Brands Hatch in a Beemer won't surprise us Thanetians. The number of superannuated old nannas you see whizzing around like decapitated daleks in these parts beggars belief. And that's just in the aisles at Waitrose!

It reminds me of a story my Ramsgate optician told me the other day when I went to get the old glass eye checked out. Apparently he'd recently attended to a wizened crone who'd never had an eye test before. Gobsmacked that she could even see her way into the shop, let alone pilot a vehicle on Her Majesty's highways, he tentatively asked her if she drove. 'Oh yes, I have done for years,' came the response. 'Well, how on earth can you see the other vehicles and pedestrians?' asked the eye quack, jaw by now on terra firma. 'Oh, I can't,' said the old gipper. 'The Lord Jesus Christ is my guide.'

I can tell you that if it had been me, I would have reached for the wooden stake and mallet there and then!

7 comments:

West Cliff GB said...

Wait till her hearing goes as well.

Et voila!

A potential new member of TDC ready to stand in 2 years time.

What Aquifier? What aircraft noise? What traffic-jams? What Museums? What...you looking at???

Anonymous said...

107 year old Doris - the Kent Tories' latest rising star!

Anonymous said...

Where's Ramsgate?

Anonymous said...

Where's me Standards in Public Life reference-book fingy gone?

Anonymous said...

Where's me glasses & teef gone ???

Anonymous said...

Oh shite, I voted labour!!

Shinguard said...

Looks to me more like ex formula 1 champ Jackie Stewart making a discreet come back.