Snooze Newz

Cripes! All that talk of my kip being interrupted by knackered old jumbos has forced me to reassess the sleeping arrangements here at the old cliff top mansion!

And who better to consult than the Ile's leading bed emporium, Thanet Bedz?!

Their same day delivery and 'honest prices every day' policy make them the ideal place for the discerning, yet mean, millionaire to find that divine divan or superking snoozeriser at a massive discount. They also do sofas, bedroom furniture and dining tables, so I might as well get the entire place kitted out while I'm at it!!!

Why not tool along to their Ramsgate or Margate showrooms and see for yourself? Or give them a call on 01843 595858. They're also offering a FREE £400 silk pocket sprung divan for every 1000th Facebook like, so you should really check that out as, who knows, you might soon find yourself sleeping like a millionaire too!!!!

NB: The fact that Thanet Bedz are now sponsoring this blog, having left a substantial sum in a manilla envelope behind the hot water pipes in the Cavendish Street khazis, has had no influence on the content of this post.

Ramsgate Now Grimmer Than Margate - Official

Yikes! According to a report from the Office for National Statistics on seaside towns, Ramsgate has overtaken Margate as one of the top deprived areas of the country. Thus proving that, in Thanet at least, it's grimmer down south.

The, er, Millionaires' Playground is now ranked as having the fifth highest level of poverty and social breakdown in the country, after Skegness, Blackpool, Clacton and Hastings. Margate came 7th.

Click here to read more in the Daily Mirror.

So, undeniable evidence there, if it was needed, that TDC's policy of pouring all the sponds into Margate and Cliftonville, and neglecting the sunny south side, has done its job as far as they're concerned.

Now would be a good time, then, to let the moths out of your wallets and spare a fiver or two for the deprived yoof of Ramsgate, who are organising a fantastic day of parkour, urban art and poetry at our lovely Eastcliff bandstand this coming Sunday. They're trying to raise £1500 for the event, and there's only a few days left to do it.

Click here to go to the website where you can donate.

So, whaddya waiting for? While you're counting out the cash, here's a short video showing you what they're going to be up to:

Ferrygate - Separated At Birth?

 

Reader Samantha writes:

Has anyone else noticed the striking similarity between the £3m Thanet Council was hoping to get for the freehold of the Pleasurama eyesore in Ramsgate, and the £3.3m it has lost in the Ferrygate debacle? Talk about funny money!

Haha! Well, Samantha, if you are saying that the council's book-cooker woke up on Monday morning this week, saw that the three million sovs would be unforthcoming from the 'developers' of the Pleasurama site, and realised that, as the £3.3m ferry hole it was intended to fill would therefore remain unplugged she had better fess up, you may have a point.

I'll get my accountant Cyril on it straight away!

Ferrygate

Following my exclusive revelation last month that TransEuropa Ferries had sunk without trace, we have now been presented with the bill by Thanet Council - a whopping £3.3m!

Yes folks, that's 3,300,000 of your English pounds pissed up the swanny, without so much as a 'by your leave'. That's your council tax, that's my council tax, that's money that should have been going towards funding decent public services in Thanet, not propping up a failing foreign business.

So what did we get for our mulah? The answer to that has to be: 'Chuff-all'. I've seen councillors on other blogs justify their actions by saying TEF was a major business that couldn't be allowed to fail. Really? Are they actually suggesting that it was a worthwhile exercise to clandestinely syphon off our money into a Slovenian firm, owned by a couple of Maltese barristers, for the sake of protecting, what, ten jobs down at the port? That's £330,000 per job!

Someone, somewhere has dropped a massive bollock. Or worse, there's been enough council collusion and corruption going on to make even a crook like Sandy Ezekiel blush. Who ordered this unlawful secret subsidy? Councillors? Council officers? Why aren't they in jail too? Wasn't Brian White, the former Head of Regeneration and Planning, in charge down there at the time? Why did he get a £70,000 pay-off for this, er, sterling work? And why was the port accountant, the only person with the bottle, experience and nouse to flag up this monumental misappropriation of public funds, suddenly sacked in 2011 and told that all the number crunching would, in future, be done at Duffer Central in Cecil Square?

In order to pay for this ferry fiasco, we are now told that, amongst other things, £1m will be taken from something called the 'New Homes Bonus', a government grant aimed at helping local authorities build affordable homes and bring long-term empty properties back into use. So to line a few pockets, people are going to lose out on much-needed accommodation. Kuh!

The whole thing stinks worse than Margate Harbour when the tide's out. I think Eric Pickles should be told!

Meanwhile, in other Ramsgate seafront news, TDC have concluded that something needs to be done about the Pleasurama eyesore, and that they're now not entirely happy with the decade and a half of dereliction they've been promoting down there. Call me a cynic, but releasing this 'good news' straight after their Ferrygate revelations strikes me as a rather obvious attempt at media manipulation.

And to be honest, it ain't all good news either, as it's going to cost us council taxpayers several more millions in legal fees to undo that particular mess. You couldn't make it up, could you?

A Word From Our Other Sponsor

As part of my new policy of carrying a modest amount of tasteful sponsorship ('selling out' in old money) here on the island's biggest and best blog, I'd like to introduce you to those nice people at Nice Things.

Based at the newly renovated Custom House in the Millionaires' Playground, Nice Things showcases local arts and crafts from, er, local artists and craftsmen. So if your other half has a birthday coming up or you need a last minute prezzie for that anniversary you've forgotten, or you just want to treat yourself, do pop along and browse their selection of paintings, ceramics, jewellery, trinkets, cards and wrapping paper.

Phew! The things I have to do to earn a wedge these days! If you'd like your name in front of thousands of readers a week, other slots are available. All it costs is less than a bottle of decent fizz a month, stuffed in cash into the customary brarn envelope, and deposited at an address of my choosing. Just email me at richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk

A Word From Our Sponsor

For nigh on five years now, Thanet's Premier Blog has been bringing you all the news that's unfit to print, uncluttered by advertising or the need to plug some product, service or political doctrine.

Which means you haven't had to miss a single goal (ITV), or had useless tut from B&Q rammed down your throat just when you were about find out how to build a nuclear submarine (Quest).

But times are tough. Even for (Columbian Peso) millionaires like me. Yes, it's sad to say, dear reader, but I was recently reduced to buying a case of Shampagne from Aldi, steaming off the labels and replacing them with ones I'd photocopied from my last bottle of Krug. Shameful, I know, but after the tenth bottle nobody really noticed.

Where I work, in TV land, belts are being tightened. Top executives are seeing their pay slashed by up to 25%, leaving them with a meagre £400K-£500K a year to scrape by on. Nobody can afford to keep a Georgian town house in Chelsea and a villa in Tuscany on that sort of money.

So after much consideration I've persuaded the board of Eastcliff Richard (Virgin Islands) (2005) Ltd to allow some tasteful sponsorship. You won't be confronted by the kind of Googlesplatter you see on some of the more tawdry Thanet blogs. Just the occasional ad for useful things, carefully selected and road-tested by yours truly.

My first sponsor is IsleOne, a splendidly informative and superbly designed website chock full of luvvly Fannit fings, brought to you by top webmeisters freshfishdesign. I urge you all to pay a visit.

And if you'd like your name in front of thousands of readers a week, other slots are available. All it costs is less than a bottle of decent fizz a month, stuffed in cash into the customary brarn envelope, and deposited at an address of my choosing. Just email me at richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk

Crude Comments

What with BP's share price sinking this week faster than an ROV on an urgent mission to stem a mile deep oil blowout, I thought I'd use the excellent ifitwasmyhome.com (visualizing the BP oil spill disaster) to centre the leak on Ramsgate.

As you can see, if it had happened here, much of the English Channel would have been affected. Er, as well as the whole of Kent and huge swathes of London and the home counties. Ironically it would have quickly enveloped BP boss Tony Hayward's rural Kent pile, which is now apparently under police protection following threatening phone calls and hate mail.

£55bn wiped off their share price? They should count themselves lucky!

PS: Has anyone else noticed petrol's 6p a litre less in Canterbury compared to Thanet? Not that I'm too bothered as my motor's all electric!

Reed Employment

Only in your super, soaraway Eastcliff Richard! Each week we feature a public sector stunna!

Today's bureaucratic babe is Donna Reed, who's just been promoted from her job as Director of Customer Services at Thanet Council to Director of Shared Services for the whole of East Kent! The council cracker's not just a pretty face - she'll be raking in almost £100K in her new job!

Donna you just wanna give her a great big hug! [Geddit??!!!??]

A Statement From Lord Eastcliff

The following statement has been released by Lord Eastcliff's London solicitors Bentley Bugatti Veyron:

There has been considerable speculation in the last few days concerning my tax status. I would like to reassure the British electorate that the £238m I have so far donated to the Conservative Party to help win marginal seats such as Thanet South is in no way 'dodgy'.

Whilst I do spend a considerable amount of time attending to my businesses in the Virgin Islands, Turks and Caicos and Panama, I nonetheless shoulder a hefty tax burden in the UK. Only yesterday I had to pay a substantial amount of VAT on a case of Chateau Lafite Rothschild from Berry Bros. Moreover, while it is also a matter of record that I promised Mr Hague I would pay tens of millions into the Exchequer upon my elevation to the peerage in 2000, it is not my fault that he failed to spot that my fingers were crossed behind my back when I did so.

I trust this will put the ordinary voters' minds at ease. I would urge all right thinking people to vote for my Old Etonian chum Dave in the forthcoming election, and look forward to being elevated to Royal if not God status when he romps home.

Lord Eastcliff
Cliff Top Mansion
Ramsgate

East Of The Wantsum

Here's this week's East of the Wantsum (click it to big it). A slightly premature ejoculation, as the results of the public inquiry into our beloved Thanet Council's sell-off of the Montefiore site was still ongoing as the Gazunder went to press.

In fact much more heat has been generated in today's paper concerning Ramsgate Town Council's decision to abandon the sinking ship that is Albion House and decamp to the newly-renovated Custom House on the harbour. The red brick edifice has recently been tarted up by Neath Properties, who, according to the Gazunder, are the same people who brought you the, er, 'redevelopment' of our Grade II listed Marina Restaurant. Not only that, but they got grant money from the Ramsgate Seafront Townscape Heritage Initiative Scheme for the Custom House scheme. And now they'll have a guaranteed rental from the public purse.

Don't get me wrong, they seem to have made a much better job of the Custom House than they did of the Marina Restaurant. But should they really be rewarded for their previous abysmal efforts with our taxpayers' sponds?

Anyone For Tennis?

Just a quick reminder that today sees the start of the Montefiore tennis courts inquiry at Albion House, here in the Ms' P. Campaign group HOOT (Hands Off Our Tennis Courts) is hoping to overturn a decision by Thanet Council to flog the facility to developers by having the tennis courts designated a village green, one of four such applications currently under consideration around the isle. The poor HOOTers have had to prepare all their evidence themselves, whilst the council has gone to great lengths to ensure even more taxpayers' moolah is wasted by hiring a barrister.

Of course, Albion House itself is also in the process of being sold off by the jurassic junta, begging the question of where future inquiries into asset sales would be held once all the assets have been sold. Er... Anyway, the inquiry's public, so do feel free to pop along. Or if you're trundling past in the old jalopy, why not give a honk for HOOT??!!! Let's hope it's game, set and match to them!

Click here for HOOT website

TDC Sweeps Carpet Contract Under The Rug

Ever since our beloved council rolled out the brand new pink carpet at Duffer Towers a few weeks back, speculation has been mounting as to who got the plush £50K+ contract. One of my spies has now sent me the results of a Freedom of Information inquiry he made to Cecil Square, but the results are, I'm afraid, less than illuminating:

Thank you for your communication received on 19th November 2009 where you requested information about the contract to supply carpets.

I am writing to advise you that, following a search of our paper and electronic records, I have established that the information you requested is not held by Thanet District Council. However, by way of explanation I shall explain the procurement route taken. The Council undertook a formal procurement whereby suppliers were invited to tender for the office reburbishment contract, which included an element of carpetting within the specification. The intention being, that the award would be made to a main contractor for them to manage delivery of the entire content of contract.

The Council did not award a contract to supply carpets and therefore did not appoint to an individual carpet firm, but awarded the entire contract to a main contractor, which was DJ Ellis.

Hmm. Well call me old fashioned, but if I was putting such a large contract out to tender, I'd very much like to know who the subbies were!

VAT Chance Of A Xmas Prezzie From TDC?

Holy VAT inspectors! Reader Mikey has sent me a cutting from a recent edition of the Northern Echo headlined: Councils Urged To Cut Parking Fees. The story kicks off thus:

Local authorities must pass on the VAT cut announced in last week's Pre-Budget Report to help sustain small businesses and the local economy over Christmas, a business support organisation has said. The Federation of Small Businesses (FSB) said it is concerned by reports that many local authorities are not intending to pass on the 2.5 per cent VAT reduction on their parking charges.

Mikey says: 'This got me wondering whether your own beloved local authority had passed on Chancellor Darling's VAT reduction which came into force on Monday?' Hmm. Good question Mikey! A quick snoop around the Uranians' website revealed no such festive, tax-related announcement. And a check on their fees and charges showed they're still implementing 2008-9's tariff for car park season tickets, with a rather nebulous 'Charges include VAT', but no mention of a percentage. A similar perusal of CIPFA's (the leading public sector accountancy body's) website elicited little guidance for councils, in fact not much more than an announcement that the rate had dropped.

Still, I guess we have to trust that the CIPFA brains at Thanet Council know what they're doing! Meanwhile, to get us all in the spirit, here's a rather fetching festive photo of the Chancellor:

Thanet Piles On The Pounds

Yep, that's pounds sterling, not pounds avroidupois! Although judging by some of the lard buckets one encounters on the high street, I'm sure someone, somewhere may well have got this horribly mixed up.

Er, back to the story. Yes, according to a survey out today by Halifax Bank of Scotland (HBOS), Thanet has seen the largest growth in average earnings OF ANY AREA IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY over the past five years! According to the bank boffins:

The average salary of workers in Thanet has increased by more than any other local authority (LA) over the past five years, rising by 60% from £18,769 to £29,956. This was nearly treble the average rise across Great Britain (21%).

I mean, really, I do find that literally incredible. Unless they forgot to factor out my enormous income, that is!

Click here for full story on HBOS website