Blue Tracey Makes Sandy Turn Red

Phew! It's good to be having a quiet night in after all the Eminent shenanigans of the past couple of days!

One of the things I've noticed about hobnobbing with the Margate arts set is that you don't half meet a lot of Tories, property developers, and Tory property developers. Her Traciness herself declared she'd be voting for the Bullingdons this time, which seemed to make outgoing Thanet Tory chief Sandy Beach all puffed up, until she let rip at the council for having allowed her home town to get into such a parlous state over the last three decades. As she called for a public inquiry the poor Chief Duffer turned about as pink as a man of his complexion can get! Still, he must be used to it by now as I gather Mrs Beach, the lovely Cheryl, is a staunch Labour supporter.

After last night's turning on of the illuminations (which went out again around 10pm - you don't get much for your 50p these days), Thanet's finest gathered at Margate's Rokka bar to schmooze with the self-styled 'f***ing brilliant artist'. How she must have been charmed by the likes of diminutive developer Tiny Terry, looking very dapper in a dark suit and red tie (voting Labour this year Terry?), and Gargantuan Graham, looking, er, less dapper in his habitual Man at Wilkinsons get-up.

Still, perhaps it wasn't such a bad mix as virtually every 'artist' I talked to boasted of having made a killing on the property market, presumably backed by some kind of Arts Council grant. Luckily there were bouncers and a strict guest list to keep any real Margate oiks out, but they proved insufficient to deter a true Ramsgate blogger-blagger like me!

Click here to read today's interview with Trace in the Times
Click here to read Tracey moaning about Margate in the Sun
Click here to watch Tracey's Droit House speech on YouTube

East Of The Wantsum

Here's this week's East of the Wantsum (click it to big it). Good to see a mostly positive reception for Margate's favourite daughter in this week's Gazunder, despite her having a couple of knockers.

Right! I'm off to the Arsonists' Playground now to join in the Tracey Emin love-in, so don't expect to hear a Dickie dickie bird for a while, especially as I hear Barnacles now serves Gadds'!

Dreadful Dredging Drives Dosh To Dover

While the whole of Margate is so excited about Tracey Emin's visit that there's barely a dry gusset in the house, here in Ramsgate the news ain't so pant-wetting.

Riffling through my copy of Dredging Today this morning, I clocked an item about a former Shirley Temple Yacht Club commodore who's had to switch his allegiance to Dover because there's not enough water in our lovely Royal Harbour to float his boat:

Former RTYC commodore John Barrett says he's berthed his Beneteau First 35 race yacht Stiletto in Dover because Ramsgate’s harbour authority could not guarantee Stiletto’s keel would not get stuck in silt. Mr Barrett said: 'They are unable to accommodate Stiletto as they cannot guarantee the 2.5 metres of water that the boat safely needs.' Dover Harbour Marina has welcomed Stiletto with open arms, as they can guarantee the depth in their marina, and will undoubtedly use this problem in Ramsgate as a marketing aid.

Click on the pic to go to the full story. What with our marina losing one of its Yacht Harbour Association Gold Anchors recently, and the news last week that this year's tall ships race will be avoiding the harbour because of all the silt, it makes you wonder whether there's any reason why our beloved council's Director of Regeneration (and Acting Harbour Master) Brian White shouldn't be keelhauled!

10,000 Bikers Party In Margate!

No, not our Margate, silly! Margate in South Africa! Click on the pic for more.

Nonetheless I will be getting the chance to squeeze into my leather gear and give my old throbber a right royal thrashing with the return of Margate (Kent) Meltdown next month. This will be the third year that a couple of hundred bikers have hogged out from the Ace Cafe on London's North Circular to spend a wet weekend on the Kent coast with the specific intention of making Tony Flaig and one or two Westgate nonagenarians nervous.

I'll admit that I look more Village Person than Hairy Biker in my outfit, but at least I fit in with the rest.

And staying with Margate (Kent) (as featured on the, er, Visit Japan website), twatter has been virtually full to bursting today with previews of all the fun planned for Our Lady of the Soiled Bedsheet's visit. Tomorrow she'll be dining with the twitterati at the Walpole Bay Hotel, and then on Friday she's unveling her 'I never stopped loving you' neon on Droit House in the harbour. There's a special late night shopping extravaganza laid on in the old town too, so be there or, um, be somewhere else.

Well I think that's all the Margate news for now, so I'm off to do my Babestation shift. Following Gordo's gaffe at Mrs Duffy's gaff today, I'll be prodding around the corridors of power with my live mic to see what I can pick up!

You Never Started Inviting Us

It may be that the confusion is (as is so often the case) purely in my bonce, but there now seem to be two dates for the launch of Tracey Emin's 'I never stopped loving you' neon on the Droit House in Margate.

According to the Turner website, and Thanet Council's Visit Kent, the whole thing kicks off on 1 May. But according to the above flyer from the Margate old town people, it's happening on 30 April.

What we all want to know, of course, is when Her Eminence actually turns on the lights. I suspect it's some time on Friday 30th, but why the mystery? Surely, if she never stopped loving Margate, she'd want the whole town to be there? Or is it the case that only arty types and public sector worthies will get the nod, just in case the 'naysayers' turn up? I think we should be told!

Tracey To Become Tax Exile?

Hooley-dooley, that was a good night out last night in Broadstairs and the girls were on good form. Unfortunately it was a bit chilly and it even rained at one point. How the local 'ladies' can go around in lycra mini skirts, or 'pussy pelmets' as my old recidivist Dad still calls them, along with tiny tops that leave nothing to the imagination I don't know and I won't go into the quality of Thanet men. I think I'll save that for another day.

Talking of local ladies, I see from my copy of the Sunday Times this morning that Margate's 'wunderkind' Tracey Emin is thinking of moving to France for tax reasons. She reckons that with the new 50% tax rate for those earning over £150,000 a year she will have to pay something like 65p in the pound in tax. 'The French have lower tax rates and they appreciate arts and culture,' she tells the Sunday Times and adds: 'This Labour government has had no understanding for the arts. At least in France their politicians have always understood the importance of culture and they have traditionally helped out artists with subsidy and some tax advantages.'

Well said Tracey. Did anyone else see our 'Culture' Secretary Ben Bradshaw struggling to remember who Roman Polanski is on the BBC's Question Time on Thursday? You could practically see the cogs whirring. I was sure he was wondering: 'Roman Polanski? Did he do Rosemary's Baby?' To which the answer would in all likelihood have been 'Yes'.

Now I know this isn't the general view around here but I have always admired Tracey and think she is an underused asset as far as Margate is concerned, and I would be sad to see her go. At least here in Ramsgate we could wave to her in France on a clear day. Maybe she could build one of her famous neon signs for us in Calais, 100s of feet high, saying 'Wish you were here'?

Tracey Emin interview in the Sunday Times

Greatest Living Thanetian Dies

How sad to hear this morning that Our Greatest Living Thanetian has passed away. Oliver Postgate, creator of Noggin The Nog, Ivor the Engine, Bagpuss and The Clangers, all filmed in a converted cow shed somewhere near Canterbury, lived in Boredstares.

The search is now on for a replacement GLT. Ken Wills, Simon Moores, Dame Tracey Emin anyone? If you'd care to make some suggestions, I'll pop one of my seven day polls in the sidebar later today. If I can get enough Lemsip Max/single malt down me, that is.

Click here to read Oliver Postgate obit on BBC website.

Dame Tracey Of Margate

Did anyone else catch Our Lady of the Soiled Bedsheet chatting to the dreadful Pierce d'Organ last night? Yes, that's right, Tracey Emin, formerly of this manor. Well, in my humble opinion the woman should be immediately elevated to the peerage, if not sainthood.

Why? Because she's such a role model for Thanet kids, that's why. Forget the old Daily Mail 'Is it art?' cobblers. As one commentator put it, she could have ended up working in a pie shop. Not that there's anything wrong with working in a pie shop, but it doesn't demonstrate much aspiration or ambition, does it? Yet here's a woman who's now worth millions, famous throughout the world, and all because she decided to get up and do something with her life. Last night's docco should surely be made compulsory viewing in every school on the island!

I have to admit a tear almost formed in the old glass eye as she charmed the pants off d'Organ with her rather odd combination of Margate and Mayfair vowels. She's got her knockers, but she's also got balls and spunk. I for one would be only too happy to treat her to tea at the Walpole next time she's down this way! (Tel: 01843 587001).

Click here to watch The Dark Side of Fame with Some Old Hack: Tracey Emin (until 6 October)

Emin: Soiled but not stirred

Margate Disappears Without A Trace

I see Our Lady Of The Soiled Bedsheet has been pontificating in today's Independent. Trace writes:

Margate for me should be somewhere I rejoice to come back to. A sort of spiritual place bound up in childhood memories and the fecundity of the sea. It should be a place of passion mixed up with Edwardian charm. A place of kinky contradictions, that's how Margate always used to be. But now every time I approach the Golden Mile I am filled with dread and fear of what I may think.

Every time I come here something has gone, something is missing. This time it's the scenic railway. Another time it's the big wheel. After the storms of 87 it was the pier. In the Eighties it was the entire Lido complex. Every single time I come something has been burnt, destroyed, fire bombed, boarded up, demolished or just completely forgotten about and left to go in to a tragic state of disrepair.

Tracey, take it from me luv, you're about the only thing the place has got left to crow about. Don't leave it too long until your next visit, otherwise you might find the whole place just one big pile of cinders!

Click here to read Tracey Emin's column in the Independent

Our Trace Ahead In Battle Of Trafalgar

I see Margate's very own Lady of the Soiled Bedsheet, Tracey Eminem, is odds on favourite to win the competition to design a sculpture for Trafalgar Square's fourth plinth.

And rather than knitting a lifesize model of President de Gaulle out of her own underarm hair, which is the kind of thing one might expect given her past form, she's actually come up with a charming group of meerkats to fill the empty plinth. Good on yer, Trace!

Click here to see all six shortlisted designs

Update: Vote for Tracey by emailing fourthplinth@london.gov.uk