A Vision For The Pavilion

The lovely Emma Irvine (she of the Albion House Hotel) has given me first dibs on a short film she's just made about her non-Wetherspoons vision for the Royal Victoria Pavilion, here in the Ms' P.

It includes interviews with Ramsgate's very own Gaddfather of Ale, plus the owners of Miles Bar, Wyatt & Jones in Broadstairs, Margate Smokehouse, and others who are keen to invest in what could be a centre of excellence for food and drink in Thanet, attracting visitors from East Kent and beyond. All part of the plan to transform our septic isle from the last resort into a destination resort.

Do take a look, then email Chief Duffer Clive Hart or some such and tell them what you want. They're making their minds up, in a Bucks Fizz kind of way, right now. In fact, word has it that Coiffeured Clive is currently in the process of ripping his skirt off, so get in quick!

Personally I think Emma may be onto something. After all, who ever said 'I know, let's go to such-and-such a place, it's got a ginormous Wetherspoons'?!?!!

Meanwhile, er, I'd like to welcome Emma Irvine and her My Seaside Luxury apartments firm as the latest sponsors of these jottings. No conflict of interest for me there, then.

Back To The Future?

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed a recent trend towards blasting on the past when it comes to the future of the Millionaires' Playground?

For example, the excellent Ramsgate Music Hall has recently opened. Its Victorian branding and moniker resonate more of unicycling Basset Hounds and plate spinning contortionists than the groovy sounds that are actually emanating from the place.

Then there's Albion House, rapidly being transformed into a boutique hotel which will very much draw from the heritage of the place. I hear rumour that there'll even be a King and Country Bar!

And now we have the imminent arrival of The Empire Room, a splendid looking restaurant addition to The Royal Harbour Hotel, over on the west side of town. Click on the pic above to visit their website.

I dunno. I guess with all the magnificent Victorian architecture around Ramsgate, and perhaps with a little sprinkling of the WW1 Centenary this year, nostalgia is rapidly getting back to what it used to be! Which is why, once the previous bodgers have been swept away from the Pleasurama Eyesore next month, I'll be putting in my bid to build a Barnum and Bailey style freak show on the site. After all, there's certainly no shortage of exhibits in these parts - bearded ladies, man-monkeys, cigar-smoking five year olds, skeleton women, elephant women, women who bang six inch nails into wood with their foreheads.... the possibilities are endless. Who knows, with my plan for a tattooed chav enclosure, I might even get public funding!

Open All Hours?

I'm pleased to report that my Twankey is going down well in Bournemouth! Hurrah! However, it does mean that I've become slightly semi-detached from the Thanet scene. Boo!

Nonetheless, I'm still getting a torrent of emails from my spies around the septic isle, and this one especially caught my eye. It's a proposal to re-open the Granville bars on the trendy East Cliff in the Millionaires' Playground. Apparently Punch Taverns are looking to sub-lease the space, and an application for a premises licence will be made shortly. According to the blurb above, the bars retain 'a very rare... Putin fire place'. Just the thing to go with one's iced Litvinenko Vodka, methinks.

So in the not-too-distant future there could be a boutique hotel, a theatre and cinema, and a couple of bars (if you include the San Clu), all within a hop and skip from the old cliff top mansion.

Crikey! At the rate things are going, it'll be just like Sandbanks! Pip pip!

Click here for more details on the James A Baker website.

Surge Of Sympathy

Sitting here in the luxurious splendour of my five star suite at the Bournemouth Travelodge, I can't help feeling sorry for anyone on the Ile de Thanet affected by last night's storm surge. Mind you, speaking personally, the old cliff top mansion stands at least 100 feet above any such watery nonsense, and Natasha, my housekeeper, reports it's as dry as a bone this morning.

TBH, quite why anyone would want to purchase a property at sea level these days, what with climate change and the world's oceans rising at the rate of a metre a year, gawd knows!

And it is with that tenuous link in mind that I congratulate the lovely Emma Irvine and her husband Ben on finally getting the keys to Albion House, high and dry on the trendy East Cliff in the Millionaires' Playground, off the council. They plan to spend a heap of dosh on refurbishing it, and opening it as a boutique hotel next year.

They recently held an open day, with guided tours of the pile. There's a video of that below.

And congrats, too, to that nice Dr Who lady, who's also finally got the council's thumbs up for her Project Motorhouse in the old Ramsgate Motor Museum! There's another video below the video below showing her plans for how that will pan out. So, it's all go Ramsgate!!!!!!!

Anyway, moustache as I need to devote a coupla minutes to polishing my Twankey ahead of this afternoon's matinee. Toodle-oo!

Signs Of The Times

Apologies, ECR fans, for the lengthy lacuna!

I've been having such good fun working with my new best chum Clive Anderson that time has fairly whizzed by!!! Then, of course, there was all the kerfuffle at Dreamland yesterday. Following that I fell in with Antiques Roadshow expert Mark Stacey, and we both decided to take a snoop around Albion House here in Ramsgate, which was open to all-comers today as part of the lovely Emma Irvine's initiative to turn it into a boutique hotel by next June!

Phew! It's a hard life being a sleb!!!!!

Any-old-hoo, poking around Albion House, where, as we know, the young Queen Victoria used to hang her bloomers out on the balcony to dry during her summer hols, I couldn't help noticing that there was still some evidence of its more recent incarnation as council offices. If you've ever wondered why the duffer at the end of the line doesn't appear to be taking your call about that dodgy lamp post very seriously, wonder no more!

And speaking of the Highways Department, here are some other signs I've spied in my recent travels around the Millionaire's Playground:

I particularly like the full stop after 'NO'. And the miniscule 'K' as a half-arsed attempt at rectifying the typo!

The next is pretty self-explanatory:

And it appears to have worked! Hurrah!!!

Assets Under The Hammer

Sold! For £370,000 to the man in the trilby hat and sheepskin coat standing at the back. And may I say, sir, you've got a bargain. The deeds will be with you as soon as your brown envelope is deposited behind the the third cistern from the left at Ramsgate station.

Thanks to everyone who bid in my online auction of Albion House. We can all take comfort, I think, in the knowledge that the money will be going towards helping the isle's disabled lead more active and fulfilling lives, once a small, er, commission has been taken to carpet my office and double glaze the old cliff top mansion.

Thanks, too, for the hundreds of emails I've received following yesterday's item about the swinging member of Thanet Council. One particular name keeps cropping up, but as I've said before, unless they've hopped it to Panama or killed a kitten, what our elected officials get up to, perfectly legally, in their private lives really doesn't concern me.

East Of The Wantsum

Here's this week's East of the Wantsum (click it to big it). A slightly premature ejoculation, as the results of the public inquiry into our beloved Thanet Council's sell-off of the Montefiore site was still ongoing as the Gazunder went to press.

In fact much more heat has been generated in today's paper concerning Ramsgate Town Council's decision to abandon the sinking ship that is Albion House and decamp to the newly-renovated Custom House on the harbour. The red brick edifice has recently been tarted up by Neath Properties, who, according to the Gazunder, are the same people who brought you the, er, 'redevelopment' of our Grade II listed Marina Restaurant. Not only that, but they got grant money from the Ramsgate Seafront Townscape Heritage Initiative Scheme for the Custom House scheme. And now they'll have a guaranteed rental from the public purse.

Don't get me wrong, they seem to have made a much better job of the Custom House than they did of the Marina Restaurant. But should they really be rewarded for their previous abysmal efforts with our taxpayers' sponds?

Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore Aaaarrrgghhh!

Phew! Now the swine flu's gone I've been able to toddle around the town again and enjoy the delights of the sea air accompanied by Test Match Special in my lugholes, courtesy of the iPhone. It doesn't get much better than that!

During my post-prandial on Saturday I clocked the parlous state of the Mayor's parlour, otherwise known as Albion House. Here are some piccies:


I'm told by regular contributor Millicent that green netting has since been erected over this balcony, presumably to prevent passers-by being bashed on the bonce by the crumbling concrete. Quite how such an historic building came to be in such a state beggars belief. I mean, didn't Queen Victoria herself hang her smalls out on those railings back in the day?

Anyway, minus the swine flu I'm firing on all one cylinder and can't wait to get my snout back in the trough again. As regular readers will know, I've always been a bit of a ham, so imagine my delight when I was approached this morning by the Harley Street Vasectomy Clinic to front up their latest video epic - A Snip At £900! I have, however, been assured that they'll be using a body double when it comes to the actual procedure!

Côte De Rubble

The observant among you will have clocked the new ticker in my sidebar on the right, counting up the number of days since Isle of Man based Auclair Properties gave the listed Marina Restaurant on Ramsgate front a right old, er, developing. It's now been 380 days, 21 hours, 28 minutes and 32, no, 33, no 34... oh you get the picture, since we were promised it would be restored to its former glory. Personally I think it should stay as it is, since it makes a fine addition to the tourist attractions down there, viz:

- Lido turned into car park with EU money
- Decade long eyesore that was Pleasurama
- Deserted casino
- Festering Motor Museum
- Smoothie hut

Auclair have submitted plans for rebuilding the joint, albeit with what Prince Jug Ears would describe as a 'monstrous carbuncle' of a modern annex on the side, but this was rejected by the planning department. There's been a meeting this evening about the Marina Restaurant, and TDC's proposed sale of the Maritime Museum and Albion House, so we should hear more on the morrow.

Meanwhile it's not all destruction and desolation here in the Cannes of Kent. Regular contributor Millicent has sent me this photo of a new, Unidentified Frame-like Object that's appeared on the Rec. Apparently it's going to be an indoor basketball court when they get around to finishing it!

Mayor's Chain Pulled

News has filtered through of Monday night's meeting of the Ramsgate Charter Trustees at Albion House.

My spies report that the parlous state of the building (where, you'll recall, Queen Vic herself once hung out her smalls) was one of the main subjects of discussion. Our local council has threatened to flog the place off to developers, but following objections has done what it usually does when there's a spot of controversy - let the place rot until we're all grateful when someone comes along and pays 10p to demolish it and build some luxury apartments.

Other debates surrounded the duties of our Mayor, my old chum (he waved at me from a float at last year's carnival) Steve Ward. Vital matters which came under scrutiny were:

1. Whether he is, in his official capacity, able to climb our super-duper new East Cliff flagpole.
2. On which occasions a flag should be flown from said flagpole.
3. Whether there should be an increase in his petrol allowance.

The last issue apparently arose after the Bouffoned One argued that he has to attend a number of functions in the Smoke (not Margate, the one up the M2) in order to promote the Millionaires' Playground, and if his chauffeur has used up his 20 hour weekly allowance the poor lamb has to drive himself. He did let slip, though, that on such august occasions people appear to show more interest in his chain than his actual person. But that if he drives himself he can only take his badge, as for some reason he's not allowed to pull his own chain. Which must lead to disappointment all round, really.