Thursday, March 08, 2007
The Brown Pimpernel
Toddling down to the corner shop earlier, I spied an elderly gentleman of military bearing who was berating one of our council's 'waste and recycling' operatives about the stinky rubbish that had been 'recycled' all over the pavements.
The operative was explaining that the seagulls were to blame for the fact that the street was awash with filth. 'They tear open the bin bags on bin day and it gets everywhere,' he said, as if there was nought could be done about it. At which point the elderly gentleman marched off muttering something about whether it was legal to shoot seagulls and/or council officers.
I continued on my errand, scanning the pavement rather more acutely than I've become accustomed to, and was shocked by the number of barkers' nests impeding my progress. I've been banging on about them for more than a year, but the problem has, if anything, got worse.
So I've decided direct action is called for. Taking my cue from that story yesterday about a fellow in Huddersfield who goes around at night spraying potholes with yellow paint, I'm straight off to B&Q to get myself a can of their finest. Only question is, what colour? Brown's clearly out. Pink maybe? I know - luminous green! That way they'll show up at night, too!