Celebrities On The Box

Flaming Nora! I've seen more celebrities staring out from the packaging of my Christmas presents this year than I'd have clocked watching UK Living for an entire week! Here's a rundown:

Gordon Ramsay's Just Desserts Chocolates - I particularly enjoyed the When Are You Going To Grow A Set Of F*cking B*ll*cks You F*cking T*sser? Lime Parfait

Bill Oddie's Fat Ball Holder - has attracted some great tits. So much more effective than just dangling your shrivelled old nuts off a bush

Nigella Lawson's Topless Jugs - speak for themselves really

That reminds me I must speak to Bev, my agent, about endorsing some products myself next year. After all, I doubt there'd be many Christmas consumers who'd be able to resist a festive nibble on my Dick Cheese!

Fencewatch

Steering rapidly away from heated debates about antiquated amusement parks, I thought I'd head for, um, safer ground today and bang on about that old favourite, Ramsgate's crumbling East Cliff.

A while back I treated you to the full SP on Heras, the company that has supplied most of the 'temporary' fencing along our dilapidated cliff top. 'Most' being the appropriate word, as I've now spotted a new species - Beaver 84!

Beaver 84 is a dynamic, customer driven business engaged in the hire and sale of quality new and used non-mechanical plant to the construction, engineering, oil, TV and leisure industries and government funded bodies, it says here.

TV and government funded bodies, eh? That gives me an idea for killing two, er, fences with one stone. Maybe I could get my old showbiz chum Bill Oddie to set up his night cameras here in Ramsgate. You never know, a week of Fencewatch might be just the thing for KCC TV!

First Cuckoo?

As well as witnessing the conception of a new avian species on this morning's walk, I was also privileged to spy my first Lesser Spotted Fly Tippers of the year.

The frantic redevelopment and building work currently taking place in the Millionaires' Playground makes an ideal habitat for this shy, chubby creature, so it's no surprise to see them flocking back in significant numbers now that winter is behind us.

The pair I spotted were jauntily adorned in their bright summer plumage of green, hi-viz vests and red hard hats. As they settled down round the back of the Granville after an exhausting migration in their J Reg Transit pick-up, I ducked behind a knackered camper van and pulled out the old binocs.

Before long they were busy building their nest, tossing materials they had gathered on their flight over the boundary fence. I nipped back later with my camera, and although the Fly Tippers had by then gone off to forage for bacon sarnies, I did manage to get a snap of their nest for my old showbiz chum Bill Oddie: