Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Toilet Humour

Reader Mick writes:

Dear Richard,

As an avid reader of your snippets of gossip from Ramsgate and the Island's high society I have heard that you are seeking objects for exhibition in your latest philanthropic enterprise, the Anthea Turner Contemporary.

May I suggest the attached which has the advantage of already being on the Island and therefore will involve no great transportation costs in moving it to the Turner bunker. Entitled 'You can never be taken short' the exhibit brings together a pure white symmetry with a simple rustic appeal with nature and a crafted sculpture in virgin concrete, which is a delight to behold.

The creator of this brillant work is unknown, but could be Tracey Enim or the famed Belgian Oneloo Haartsdunteck. The work is valued at over £1,000,000 by some of the Isle's leading art connoisseurs. However I'm making the photo available at no cost for exhibition in the gallery adjacent to the loos in the new centre. It will undoubtedly be the centre of attention.

Kind regards, Mick

Well Mick, I'll certainly give it pride of place. It'll make a, er, convenient companion for my Rodin 'Thinker'...

And Duchamp 'Fountain'!


Anonymous said...

What, you haven't gone for a Pissarro?

Anonymous said...

I thought the concrete turd (representing the interaction of stool, sun and time) was a particularly challenging component to interpret.

But once one abandoned pragmatic concepts (like the size of stool being beyond the flushing capability of the loo) the impact was remarkable.

Anonymous said...

Yes indeed. And the balance of tension is compelling. The concrete turdie lurking there as if to dive in should a passer by happen to raise the lid.

Why can't Thanet's population see that displays of this calibre can be central to our economic regeneration.

Anonymous said...

Are you thinking of exhibiting anything by Two Loos Lautrec?

Anonymous said...

Surely this is only a bog standard piece of art work .
It can't be an Emin or the turd would have been substituted for a recyclable tampon.

Anonymous said...

Nothing by Botticelli?

Bluenote said...

At least we know where the expression "Shit a brick" comes from now!

Anonymous said...

Good point anon pre=poster.

But in fact the initial framework for the concrete turd is indeed made of used Emin tampons.

She pursued the diet of a Chinese peasant for 3 months before investing in a sieve and a hairdryer.

Once the desirous floater appeared she sieved it out and dried it.

She considered replicating and enlarging this model in its prone position.

But finally saw the much greater artistic merit in the erect turd. A shite mimic stonehenge or a chubby phallus. The imagery is exquisite don't you feel ?

Genius. Little understood but a genius.

A pillar of inspiration around which to build economic recovery.

Love to you all Victoria Pomeranian

Mark Kilner said...

I'm willing to loan my hugely expensive piece (ooh-er) to the Turner as long as they have at least two security guards standing beside it at all times.


Lucy Mail said...

And another pill-head here.
Where do they find these people?

Lucy Mail said...

Not to mention that that's an SLR camera you're holding, not a rifle.
You're supposed to look through it!

Anonymous said...

It's a metaphor based on overlooking .... Lucy you are such a chore at times.

Lucy Mail said...

A load of pretentious bollocks, pretty much like the blog, is what it is!

Metaphor, my arse!

Anonymous said...

Name the time and place and I'll be there Lucy.

Lucy Mail said...

Ramsgate inner harbour, just off the pontoon that Dickie posted a picture of, in his latest post.
You should feel at home there.

Anonymous said...

Many thanks.