Thursday, October 29, 2009

Caravan Of Love

As if there weren't enough examples of what happens when an alcohol-soaked sperm collides with a crack-addled ovum tottering around (mainly the north of) our lovely island, the junta of duffers that is our beloved council now want to cram even more 'static caravans' onto Thanet soil.

As we all know, trailer trash breed like rabbits, whereas the emaciated gametes of the overworked, overtaxed and overachieving middle classes can barely make it out of the launch tubes these days. Result? Within a few years we could be swamped by Stella-sodden, crystal meth toting, permanently pregnant cro-magnons in ripped jeans and peroxided mullets, sucking on the public nipple until the blasted thing runs dry. I mean, there's an evens chance that, given that scenario, Waitrose might become a Morrisons. And then where will I be able to buy millionaire shortbread? Yikes!

The sorry saga of how the extension to Bradgate Caravan Park in Lydden was nodded through by the crew of cretins in Cecil Square, despite a previous refusal and a recommendation to refuse again by council officials, has been written up on Bertie Biggles' excellent Thanet Strife blog (good to see you back, and on form, Bertie!). What Bertie hasn't mentioned, though, is that 'trailer park ghettoes' are currently springing up like great, plastic, box-shaped weeds on the north Wales coast, due to the vicissitudes of the current economic climate. The county of Conwy now has 165 of the blasted things! And guess what? Many of the people living in them stay there the whole year round, and don't even pay council tax. So, a planning application wafted through, and not much hope of even making a few bob for the community coffers out of it. Hmm. Methinks I smell a large, rotten, TDC fish!

Still, never fear, Tory planning supremo Ken Gregory batted off objections that the transport infrastructure wouldn't be able to cope with the influx of, er, happy caravanners by saying they would be 'rolling up in Bentleys and Rolls-Royces to stay in their holiday homes.' Oh, so that's alright then. As we know, the council's planning department have never got anything wrong, have they?

Click here to read about the planning debacle on Thanet Strife

Click here to read about Bentley driving trailer trash in yourfannit
Click here to read about Welsh trailer trash on BBC News website


Anonymous said...

Perhaps Smeggy can start a new group?

puffinman said...

That couple look like Kylie & Jason, from Neighbours. Millionaires I believe.

Anonymous said...

the site owner pays rates

if they go to year round occupancy then I can buy a few caravans buy to let and get tenant rents paid from housing allowance for each tenant plus their rates would be paid from Council Tax Benefits.

Bring it on !!

Think I prefer Polish tenants especially the Peugeot drivers

Richard Eastcliff said...

Ha bloody ha!

Anonymous said...

don't you folks talk bollocks

Anonymous said...

With all these husband and wife councillor double acts, should there not be a rule about them not seconding one another.

The Green's Johnstone's and soon to be Hart's are not going to get any action if they do not support their spouses , so to make a veto easier it should be banned

Anonymous said...

Is the going rate for a secretary really £40,000 p.a. in Thanet?

Anonymous said...

If you shag Roger Gale it is!

Anonymous said...

Anon 7.32pm - you forgot the Tomlinsons - Mick T and Shirl the Girl as they were known in previous lives!

Anonymous said...

Ken Gregory resides over a shambles of a planning committee and how useless are the planning department? Bending over backwards to help Thanets richest to build whatever they like as long as it looks completely out of place and refusing permission for a large shed for the little people

Anonymous said...

How many little people would a large shed accomodate, 7:50pm? 30,000? 40,000?

Anonymous said...

And it seems rather cruel to round them all up and make them all live in a shed.

Anonymous said...

Nice brown envelopes anyone?

Anonymous said...

Did I miss some elections recently? Who are the 'Johnstones'?

What about the Kirbys and the Sullivans? Didn't Shirley Tomlinson complain recently about the possibility of another husband and wife team on the council, stating that it wasn't right conveniently forgetting she and her other half already make up a pairing.

There's nothing that says husbands and wives can't be councillors.

Anonymous said...

Apologies I meant the Tomlinsons but put the Johnstones.

The reason I raised it was we all scratch our collective heads to work out why an area that has great beaches and architecture is so poorly represented by its council.

IF it is now basically a club like the Rotarians or the North Foreland then how do we expect it to shed its amateur bumbling image ?.

The council should comprise of a broad section of the community but given the H&W teams how is that going to happen ? . I seem to remember reading that the "Dr" was trying to get his wife in as a councillor and Ezekiels wife works for them too .

It does look more like a Saga coach party to the Algarve rather than a serious attempt at running a council. It also make me wonder when councillors moan on various blogs about how hard it is that they cannot get their partners in fast enough so it cannot be quite as difficult as they want you to believe .