One of the drawbacks of being a well known celebrity with a widely publicised email address is the amount of junk that finds its way into my inbox. I mean, I've lost count of the number of times I've been invited to increase my girth. My policy with those is to reply politely in the negative to the effect that, at 36 inches, I'm already stretching it in my opinion.
Recently I've been bombarded with messages from a 'Mark Sure'. Mr 'Sure' has apparently collared the market in 'Silica Oil Regen Lubricant' and rather charitably wants to cut me in on the deal. He helpfully explains that his product is 'an industrial lubricant used for lubrication purposes in the brain box of a ship'. A quick straw poll among the matelots down at our Royal Harbour elicited not much more than a few strange looks!