Warning: video contains some sweary words unsuitable for young 'uns or codgers
Yikes! It seems a whole heap of Tories have jumped on my election poll over the last 24 hours. Either Dave's trowelled-on make-up last night struck a chord with the Thanet voter, or Lord Cashcroft has spent a few bob on one of those SEO sweatshops in the Philippines. Whatever it is, there's now only two percentage points between them and the Labourites, who've been on top since the start.
Speaking of buying votes, am I the only one on the island who's mystified by those Tory campaign hoardings in every field I drive past? Are the isle's farmers suicidal? Surely the Tories would cut back on their euro-handouts? There's even one in the remaining strip of arable land between the old A299 and the new East Kent Access Road they're building. How much of the £81m shelled out on the scheme by the Labour government did he get for his cabbages? Kuh! Talk about turkeys voting for Christmas!
Still, most of the Tory hoardings have been defaced with BNP slogans, which just proves that you only need an IQ of around 76 to be a Nazi, seeing as they don't even have a candidate standing in the area. What a shame, though, that the only Labour poster I've spotted is in the window of the Mayor of Ramsgate, car-crushing, caff-crushing Councillor Dave Green's house.
Oh well, I'm off to get a skinful of the Gaddfather of Ale's finest. It's St George's Day!