Yep. Thanks to an Established, Prestigious, Leading Institution, I can now add PhD to the already extensive collection of letters after my name. And all I had to do was send off a cheque!
Apparently I can now look forward to a prosperous future, money earning power and the Admiration of all, having obtained the degree I deserve based on my present knowledge and life experience (i.e by doing nothing at all except cough up the sponds). My degree shows exactly what I can really do (er...), and I will soon be getting the Job, Promotion, Business and Social Advancement I Desire.
So, with that in mind, I've renamed the old cliff top mansion The Ramsgate Institute of Coastscape Studies (RICS), with yours truly installed as the Professor of Seasideology. Now all I have to do is sit back and wait for the offers roll in!