Saturday, July 18, 2009

Stella Artwat

Tooling back from a splendid night out with my millionaire Ramsgate friends, I was surprised to come across a fleet of Kent's finest, and various NHS meatwagons, parked in one of those grimy backstreets behind the front here on the trendy East Cliff. According to several eyewitnesses, one of the local east Europeans had been flattened by an indigenous inhabitant, almost certainly fuelled by 'premium' lager e.g. Stella and/or 1664.

Quite why Stella Artois advertise themselves as something special and French, when we all know it's the alcoholics' alcohol of choice round here, heaven knows. Presumably the expensive adverts suggesting that only the upper eschelons can afford it are a deliberate antidote to the actual truth, viz that only boozy twats with seven illegitimate kids by various crack whores would even touch Stella. No wonder I saw a Transit van full of the stuff being delivered to the local CostCutter earlier today!

10 comments:

Joshua said...

Proclaiming Stella to be any worsethan 1664, Fosters, Carling or etc is rubbish, especially as Stella only gets a downrating due to reputation.
So unless you spend your days drinking Piraat and Leffe Blond it's a redundant dressing down if I do say so.

Eastcliff Richard said...

I kind of agree Joshua. But not for nothing is Stella colloquially known as 'Wifebeater'. Or 'Polebeater' in these parts.

Anonymous said...

On the plus side the consumption of Stella demonstrates a willingness to digest some matters European.

For all you know, at this stage, ECR the recipient of beating may have been a nonsa, a pimp of child prostitution or a drug pusher. Hence that exemplary mitigation should apply and police, as in days of old, should turn a blind deaf cockeye.

But at least we now know that authority will respond to some categories of detritis deposited on the pavements of the Eastcliff.

Anonymous said...

Richard is it true that Mark is known as Pinocchio? He is refered to as Pinocchio on www.minnisbay.com

Anonymous said...

I though white lightening cider was the local drink of choice At 7.5% alcohol per volume you get much more bang for your bucks than Stella.

Anonymous said...

Richard, I understand the police have charged the hospitalised Pole with GBH for repeatedly face-butting the shaven nut of a tattooed local dole scrounger.

Can you confirm?

andromedios said...

Cyprus July of 1974 URGENT: to the unions of R.A.F. discharged officers

http://ellhnkaichaos.blogspot.com/2009/07/cyprus-july-of-1974.html

http://bellum-mentalis.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

@ andromedios

Is this a vote for or against Stella ?

Julie said...

11,15 See that nice (perhaps not) young man Mr Worrow has been drinking too much Stella if his photo on minisbay.com is anything to go by. Me thinks the gentleman protests too much.

Anonymous said...

Any possibility that Anonymous 11.15 might just be one John Worrow trying desperately to keep the cyber-bullying story alive when it's actually or ought to be dead and buried. Come on, Councillor, accept that you were in the wrong and get over it.