Only in your super, soaraway Eastcliff Richard! Each week top Thanet politician Sandy Beach gives us his insight into the island!!!
Bloody 'ell! The fuckin' credit crunch has got evvrywun by the short an' bleedin' curlies!!!??? Unimploymen', bennyfits, meltdown, fuckin' tossers!! An' there's me wiv a fuckin' yacht an' five 'arses to support!!! Evvrywun's fucked off to Australia. Tie me kanger-fuckin'-roo darn!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's all the fault ov them flamin' China Gate whingers. Tossers. Wankers. Fuckin' tossers!!!! My mate Steve Ladyman's got the right idea!!! An' Roger!! In my face, yer friggin', whinin' bar stewards! In my chuffin' face!!!! Weev all agreed China Gate would be fuckin' kushti!!!?!??
So shut yer fuckin' pie holes yer leftie twats. We owe it to the young 'uns to maxermise oppertunities so that they can set art on life's jerney to 'elp acheeve their dreams an' asperations by 'andin' over their 'ard earned fer a luvvly bit of shagpile!!!!!??????!!!!!
That's enough diary - Ed.