Sunday, March 30, 2008

Former Thanet Blogger Spotted At Meeting

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Political Editor Hugh Jorgan

Former Thanet blogger Councillor Seamus McSniggles was spotted alive and well recently - at a meeting in Westgate.

Looking fit and relaxed, Tory Councillor McSniggles attended a meeting of the campaign to save Westgate Pavilion (What that? - Ed.). One eyewitness told the Gazunder: 'He wasn't on the panel but was playing the role of responsible ward councillor to a tee, making sure those asking the questions in the audience were handed the mike by him and that sort of thing.'

The eyewitness, who didn't want to be named, added: 'At the end he tried to take control and wrap it all up in a way that made me realise just how slick he thinks he is.' (Are your sure that's not libellous? - Ed.)

Councillor McSniggles, 83, used to run the 'popular but beseiged™' Thanet Spoons website, but retired recently to pursue a lifelong interest in breadcrumbs.


Anonymous said...

I love you wit and turn of phrase. It is so good to see you back in full swing again :)

Anonymous said...

I saw a sign outside a shop in London's Marylebone Lane on Friday advertising "Biggles Sausages".

Bertie biggles said...

And jolly good value they are too!

Anonymous said...

'fit and relaxed' i like fit men in suits . I'm wondering if he has nice buttocks.

Brenda Stuka said...

Very well couched but I understand Kilroy Silk is not impressed.

Anonymous said...

Maybe that's the future for Cllr McSniggles. Get an orange tan and host his own TV show full of Thanet welfare spongers!

Seamus said...

Thank you for your recent inquiry concerning the attractiveness of my butt ocks.

I was shot in one cheek during secret military service. In fact it was a "Home goal". I was shot by one of our own chaps. A top secret squirrel with an unfortunate affliction of haemmorrhoids (piles since I can't spell the word properly).

On a training mission at Westgate sea front I decided on a fast closure exercise. (To close with the enemy). Hence the bicycles.

I instructed the top secret squirrel (Cllr George Inamo North Thanet Tory Rifles) to stand on his pedals and not to risk frictional contact between his rather unimpressive but sensitive gluteal zone and the narrow saddle.

He arbitrarily decided that, in keeping with his low North Thanet tory profile of late, he would sit low in the saddle. The saddle facilitated his wish in an unanticipated fashion by a rapid nether disappearance exciting one cadet present to make a ribald comment about spitroasts.

I did not understand the joke but felt I should laugh along with all the adventure cadets present. My laughter wrought the most furious sulk from Secret Squirrel Cllr George.

Then a precocious cadet inquired if Cllr George had saddled us with a pile up incident.

That was it. Incandescent George Inamo locked and loaded and fired orf in all directions. Pings me in the right half moon.

Which leads me to the physio I had to do as part of my treatment.

Specialist gluteal exercises practiced at my martial arts club.

The result is my fine sculpted buttocks. Though one does reside somewhat lower than the other. Due to the weight of lead the surgeon felt unable to remove.

He signed me off sick with my remarkable shot in the arse injury.

A condition he described as Pendularse plombitarse.

Seamus said...

Since we have breached the subject of my butt ocks, now might be an opportune time to explain the incident at the tenpin blowling alley.

A guide dog. German Shepherd.

Can do anything for its blind owner.

Including, as I found to my cost, tenpin bowling.

It was just my luck to encounter a german Shepherd with a sense of humour.

Hios keen nose had explored my nethers and paid particular attention to the incisions made for keyhole surgery to remove such lead as the aurgeon felt able.

One large incision for removal and two smaller incisions for the camera scopes.

It had not occurred to me before that my injured buttock resembled a tenpin ball.

Well it pretty soon dawned on me as the chuckling hun guide dog grabs me thumb and two fingers in the half arse and sends me bowling off down the alley for a full strike.

Oh well I exaggerate. Actually I scored a split.

Anonymous said...

The Sheamus postings are absolutly brilliant, this is how Blogging should be, pure fun.

'MR X'

Anonymous said...

Well I think they're despicable! You're clearly trying to lampoon poor Councillor Latchkey, who believes he represents Westgate even though he actually got elected next door in Birchington. You're both capitalising on his confused state AND suggesting he's guilty of impersonating an all-action hero. Shame on you.