Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Thanet Woman Finds Jesus In Xmas Dinner

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Food Editor Gordon Ramsgate

A Westgate woman is praying that her pooch will pop out an early Christmas present following a foodie find that could be bigger than the last supper!

Author 'Dizzy' Lizzy Lumsden was noshing her turkey and trimmings at a Christmas dinner organised by a Birchington book club when she scooped up a forkful of peas and potatoes and screamed 'Jesus Christ!'

King of the Chews

'I looked at it and there was the very image of Our Lord sitting on my fork,' Mrs Lumsden told the Gazunder. 'I'd never seen anything like it. Once I got over the shock, I passed it round the table. Everyone agreed that it was the spitting image of the Messiah!'

Stable Condition

Mrs Lumsden asked the waiter to pop her find in the freezer so it would keep, and later took it home with her. 'I was going to auction it on eBay,' she said. 'I thought it would make a great Christmas present for somebody with religious views, or failing that somebody who collects decorations.'

Stigmata Sauce

But her dreams of jumping on the Jesus and Mary gravy train later came to nothing when her husband found the Son of God sitting in the freezer, popped it in the microwave and fed it to the Lumsdens' dog, Woofie.

'I could have crucified him,' said Mrs Lumsden. 'But in the true spirit of Christmas I forgave him. We're now hoping that, after its journey through Woofie, it'll turn out alright in the end.'

Mrs Lumsden is 38.


Anonymous said...

This tale is just plain crackers.

Anonymous said...

You'll be telling us three wise men have been spotted in Thanet next.

Anonymous said...

Dog in a manger if ever I heard it...