Sunday, December 13, 2009

Ted's Pet Care Corner

Only in your super, soaraway Eastcliff Richard! Each week our animal loving expert Ted solves your pet-related health problems!

Dear Ted, while I was Dysoning the house this morning I accidentally ran over Tiddles, our three month old Persian. Despite prodding him with a stick, he does not seem anywhere near as lively or playful as he was before. I enclose a picture. Is there anything we can do to restore him back to health, or should we offer him to our mutual friend who runs a shagpile shop?

Hoping you can help. T.

Ted writes: Nah, he's a gonner. Chuck 'im outside.

Do you have a pet that's feeling poorly? Email your problem, preferably with a photograph, to Ted@richardeastcliff.co.uk

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

nobody respects A gutter snipe, such as the cowardly anonymous blogger EASTCLIFF RICHARD.




Honest Clive
(posh part of Cliftonville)

Anonymous said...

Anon 5.20 what an obnoxious anonymous comment. Why bother? Stick to reading Margate blogs.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ted,
has our parrot Maurice got 'turettes'? We are a respectable household and would not dream of allowing bad language in the house. Recently our parrot,? instead of saying "Pretty Boy" has come out with some disgusting language.

He keeps repeating "f***ing t****r"; " fleas is a 'f***ing Labour smear": " b*****d Broadhurst" and " Micks never f***ing gigged Bradgate, well not since 2007".

Should we wash his beak out with soap?

Anonymous said...

Ted says

I am experiencing a similar problem. My colleagues have been most supportive and even suggested I attend counselling with the Council Persian hell officer.

I said no because I already find great comfort in my pasta.

Counselling is for the agnostic or atheist.

So me boss, close friend and some time provider of alibis and character references, says come in yer parlour Ted.

I said I'm in enuff effing trouble Sands ole mate wivaht spilling seed into yer offcut top quality shag piles area."


I thank you. The Purveyor, at 100% discount terms, of obnoxious comments to the anon blogging community.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who thinks there is a posh part of Cliftonville is seriously deluded, by the way,

Sticking a stupid alias half way down the page does not make it not anonymous dick brain

Anonymous said...

7:17 PM
Its called the truth you unwashed Ramsagte mug!!!

Anonymous said...

We are the cowardly sheep that make snide comments about others that atcually get off their arses and do things that we would really love to do. We are the jealous and obnoxious anonymous unwashed. We admire the low life snide ERC and only wish we were as much a smum bag as he is.

We obnoxious cowards love making snide remards about people that have the balls to put their real name to what they write, such as Lib Dem hero Tony of Big News.

Anonymous said...

10:04 PM
that was the whole point bright spark lol ... the unwashed really think they get it don't they lol

Anonymous said...

WE SHOULD FORM THE EASTCLIFF RICHARD UNDERCLASS SOCIETY... and snipe away at everyone we are jealous of....

Richard Eastcliff said...

Yes, yes. I am really jealous of Sandy and his chums. Oh if only I could be Sandy, all my dreams would come true. Or maybe I could be Bignews Tony, then I feel sure everything in my world would be right and I would not be leading this miserable existence, slumming it in a cliff top mansion on a six figure income, having to earn a living from my wits rather than doing a good, honest day's minimum wage work shovelling shit on the railways.

If only.... if only...

Snore.

Anonymous said...

Saddo's all of you!

Anonymous said...

Arrrr

Us Pirates take great umbridge over 5:20 remarks. We are gutter snipes this is what we are renowned for (most of the crew are formerly gutter snipes) as for being cowardly avast yer land lubber and standby to repel ISP boarding.

We have one thing to say "come on if you think your ard enough"

Cpt Flint some keelhauling is needed over at the East of the Ilse.

Arrrrrrrr

The Pirates

Carrying on the great Piracy ISP tradition since the great Krug of 1690 was brewed.

Motto

ISP Piracy is a crime and we are proud of it

Richard Eastcliff said...

Er, when I said 'six figure income' there, I meant the £1380.81 I manage to screw in Disability Living Allowance each year.

Just in case any libel legal eagles are tuning in with their eye on rinsing me for costs and damages!

Anonymous said...

ECR

I will forward you some interesting DLA data to your e-mail address.

Cpt Flint sent D2 the ISP of the above!!

Up the Pirates and right up TDC!!

D8

Anonymous said...

yeh ECR be a man and come out of the woodpile and contribute like Panama Steve Broadhurst did and you could cop yourself an extra £4K a year that would put you on nearly 6K for doing f all lol you could even live in S America

Anonymous said...

How lovely to see so much Christmas spirit and Goodwill to all Men, abounding in this blog.
From Fizzy Lizzy - one who does respect ECR (scabby end of Broadstairs)

Anonymous said...

So did Mick T do gigs at Bradgate then, 7:42 and made no declaration on Planning? Standards, standards, standards?