Ostend Of An Era?

Effortlessly piloting my graceful Bentley Continental Flying Toss back to the Millionaires' Playground this afternoon, following a week at my Chelsea pad for the funeral of the century and a recording of the new series of Celebrity Nipples for Dave, I couldn't help but notice that our lovely TransEuropa Ferries in our lovely Royal Harbour/Port had been replaced by a floating hotel!

It got me to pondering what was going on with TransEuropa Ferries (TEF), as I rarely see the old tubs wending their way across to Belgium from my captain's lookout here at the cliff top mansion these days. So I emailed my old chums with the anoraks and binoculars on the other side of the briny, and this is their response:

You may well have noticed that Ramsgate port is 'ferryless' at the moment. Yesterday the Ostend Spirit (formerly the Pride of Calais) returned to their owners P&O for lay up at Tilbury. Strange that the Thanet press didn't pick up the story.

In short Transeuropa have some problems, and it seems that the owners the Dias brothers are wrapping up the company their father left them. They have sold two ferries that operated in the Med to Russian interests. The two ferries were moneymakers as they were chartered to the biggest Spanish ferry operator TRASMED for service between Spain and Morroco.

If TEF goes then at least 10 jobs will go directly with some indirectly such as security, cleaning and jobs at Orbit import-export, based at Ramsgate ferry port.

Blimey! Now, following a little, er, misunderstanding with Euroferries (Where are they now?! - Ed.) a few years back, I hasten to add that no-one is saying that TransEuropa have sunk. Let's be absolutely clear on that. But it does seem a little fishy! (Geddit??!!!!!???!!!??!!!!!!!!)

Especially as a visit to TEF's website is currently resulting in a big, fat empty load of white space.

Meanwhile I suppose we must welcome C-Bed to the Cannes of Kent. They provide floating hotels for windfarm workers, enabling them to be on the job 24/7. According to C-Bed's website, they use 'leather and other luxurious materials' to make sure their floatels 'are a place to unwind, sit back and get ready for the next day without worrying about cleaning, cooking, or getting to or from work'.

Fit for a millionaire, I'd say!

Click here for more on the current state of TEF in the Belgian newspaper De Tijd.
Update: The Gazunder has finally caught up with this story. Click here for more.

Any Portland In A Storm?

Word on the nautical grapevine (or scuttlebutt as it's known in maritime circles) is that a well known fast ferry company that can't be named for legal reasons (and can't provide a service from Ramsgate either, despite many promises), is sniffing around Portland Harbour near Weymouth.

Portland describes itself as 'the UK's newest commercial port', boasting the second largest man made harbour in the world, and a quick whizz around its website shows that a huge amount of investment has been made recently. Certainly there don't appear to be any holes that a boat hoist could fall down!

My guess is that it would be in the right place for services to the Channel Islands and St Malo. If they can find a boat this time, that is!

East Of The Wantsum

Here's today's EotW. As ever, click it to big it.

It's anyone's guess which page it'll appear on in our local blue top from week to week. Today it was under Countdown to Turner, my old journalist chum John Kampfner's column, writing in his guise as chairman of the Turnip Centre trustees.

I'm sure John won't mind me saying (as he probably didn't write it, but only put his name to it) that I've never read so much fantasy guff in my life. If his column is to be believed, Margate is about to be transformed into some kind of Willy Wonka wonderland, where the streets will be paved with Saatchi gold, and fifty pound notes will spew from the top of the Turner Contemporary every day for the 'ickle Margit chilren to collect. And not a mention of any destination south of Westwood Cross.

You can read it all on the excellent Margate Architecture blog, where it's been scanned and reproduced, along with, as it happens, East of the Wantsum. I don't recall giving my permission for that!

Meanwhile John Kampfner has rather more reason to celebrate in his capacity as CEO of Index on Censorship, part of the campaign group that has been fighting our archaic and draconian libel laws. The ConDems announced today that they will review our ridiculous statutes, which have made us the laughing stock of the world, and London the centre of international libel tourism.

So, if all goes well, in a couple of years time, I may be able to tell you what really happened with Euroferries!

Rub-A-Dub Dub, Three Men And A Tub

The latest word on the Eurof*****s front is that they're running out of options for a vessel. Now that Fred Olsen have ruled out the use of this...

it's been suggested on the rumour mill that they might have to resort to using this...

Haha! No, it wasn't a serious suggestion. It was meant to be a joke. J-O-K-E. Lawyers do understand jokes, don't they?

Little Change On The Eurof*****s Front

Loathe as I am to mention Eurof*****s for fear of being taken to the cleaners by their wolf pack of highly paid m'learneds, I think I can safely say that their latest deadline for launching a Ramsgate Boulogne service came and went a while ago. I gather they're now intending to start in April (possibly the 1st, as suggested in yesterday's Gazunder by my columnist chum Jane Wenham-Jones).

What is ever-so-slightly new is their website (click on pic to visit). Gone is the claim to be 'the leading fast ferry operator on the English Channel between Ramsgate and Boulogne' and in comes: 'Eurof*****s is a high speed ferry operator between the ports of Ramsgate and Boulogne.'

Also new for March is this promise: 'Should there be a delay to the launch of service and you are therefore unable to travel with us you will be informed & given a full refund.'

Meanwhile one rumour mill is even suggesting that Thanet Council's very own Director of Regeneration and Development Services Brian White is 'the guy they employed to deal with the coach traffic'. I'm sure our Brian, and the rest of the island, will be delighted to hear of his elevation!

Click here to visit previous version of Eurof*****s website

I See No Ship

Well I thought I'd give them a day's grace. But it really doesn't seem as if the ferry company that I couldn't possibly mention is any closer to starting a service between Ramsgate and Boulogne than it was last year. Or the year before. Despite yesterday being the day they said they were going to launch. For the fourth time.

Even dat dair Dr Steve Ladyman must be despairing by now. After all, it's 417 days since he publicly promised the launch was 'imminent'.

But so far nada. Nix. Nuffink. Just more rumours about another possible fast craft, more refunded fares to disappointed punters and a recorded message on their telephone number. Still, that hasn't stopped Visit Britain (the British Tourist Board in old money) saying they've been running since 14 November.

Meanwhile it looks as if our beloved council will be shelling out something in the region of arfer miwwion knicker to dredge our much neglected harbour to accommodate the Ostend Spirit, LD Lines new superduper ferry that's due to start on the 27th. I wonder where the dosh for that's coming from? Probably out of the flea-bitten kitty they were supposed to use for maintaining their potholed lorry park!

Wherever it's coming from, they'd better get a wriggle on!

Update: The council announced today that the dredging has begun, with some kind of floating super Hoover doing the honours. Click here for more.