As usual I've based my questions on the events and people that have shaped Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula during the past year. So throw another heritage ride on the yuletide blaze, pull up some deckchairs and settle down to test your noddle with my Thanet brainteasers!
January
Work began on improving the streets and pavements around Margate old town. It was due to be completed 'in time for the summer season', but when did it finally get done?
A: In time for Easter
B: It ran over a bit into the summer
C: They're still working on it now
Answer: C - Get down there and grab yourself a cone hat for Christmas!
February
In the space of only a few hours, a developer converted this Grade II listed building in Ramsgate:
Into this:
What was the developer's name?
A: Auclair Properties
B: Bodgem and Scarper Ltd
C: Barney Rubble (Builders) Ltd
Answer: A - they have since had plans to rebuild the Marina Restaurant and add a ghastly modern block of flats round the side rejected by our beloved council (hurrah!).
March
An arcade burnt down on Margate seafront (natch). What was it called?
A: The Golden Arsonist
B: The Tivoli
C: Jim'll Fix Its
Answer: B - Apparently half a million quids worth of slots went up in smoke.
April
Take a shufti at this short clip from BoobTube:
Another Grade II listed structure, Dreamland's Scenic Railway, burning in Margate (natch). When did Kent's finest arrest the arsonists who set fire to the ride?
A: Blazing June
B: Long arm of October
C: They still haven't got a clue
Answer: C - Thus teaching property developers everywhere a very valuable lesson.
May
Oxford boffin turned Thanet property developer Dr Fiona Sherriff started tarting up Margate's harbour arm this month. What significant event occurred on its opening day later in the year?
A: Dr Sherriff's house was burgled and 20 Gs in cash was nicked
B: Scottish songstress Lulu was spotted shopping in one of the galleries
C: It burnt down
Answer: A - proving that you can have all the qualifications in the world, but you can still leave your wad at home on a day when you've told the whole world you're going to be somewhere else.
June
Our rugged council leader Sandy Beach was caught tussling again - this time in front of startled shoppers at the Edinburgh Woollen Mill outlet on Margate High Street. The contretemps was with Labour councillor Irish Johnston, but what was it over?
A: A kilt
B: A petition against the redeployment of community wardens
C: A pair of particularly natty tartan undercrackers
Answer: B - 1500 people had signed the petition which was allegedly all over the shop floor following, er, judicious democratic intervention by Our Sand and Deputy Rodge.
July
The 'temporary' Heras fencing finally disappeared from the cliff top here in Ramsgate's trendy East Cliff. How long had it been there?
A: Three days
B: Three months
C: Three years
Answer: A+B+C - Three years, three months and three days, to be precise.
August
A Tesco bag full of documents relating to the China Gateway project was discovered which suggested, contrary to what had been said publicly, that a council jolly to China had been funded by the developer rather than the Chinese. But what gifts did our Jurassic junta discuss giving their Chinese hosts?
A: TDC cufflinks
B: Glass paperweights with Thanet scene at bottom
C: Turner picture enlarged as a scroll of Margate seafront
Answer: A, B and C - other goodies in the bag included a quote for 'Shogun' or 'primo' carpets from a local shagpile emporium and a proposal to 'erect signs as you enter Thanet (saying): Welcome to Thanet, the home of Chinese Globalisation, in English and Chinese'.
September
Our lovely Maritime Museum here in the Ms' P was set for closure, following the withdrawal of £100,000 in grants from Thanet Council, and the failure of East Kent Maritime Trust, which ran the museum, to deliver any accounts for three years. What other use was it rumoured to be slated for?
A: Fish restaurant
B: Chinese restaurant
C: Carpet shop
Answer: A - although the rumour now is that it might be saved as a museum for the Thanet nation after all. Or that it might become a museum cum, er, fish restaurant.
October
At least 470 tonnes of the chemical cyclohexanone was reported to have seeped into the local water table following a leak at Fujifilm's Sericol printing ink factory. Whose FOI request outed this previously hushed-up information?
A: Bibliobloke Michael Child
B: Irritating Bloke Rick Card
C: Super-duper, all round smashing bloke Eastcliff Richard
Answer: B - thus proving the old adage that it takes a bit of irritation to produce a pearl.
November
Former Boomtown Rat Bob Geldof (behind the bouncer in our picture) turned on Margate's Christmas lights as penance for having called the place a dump earlier in the year. Which shop did he say they'd bought the lights from?
A: Woolies
B: Selfridges
C: Harrods
Answer: A - although plans to return them after Christmas for a refund may now require a rethink.
December
The lovely Brenda Blethyn was voted our Greatest Living Thanetian following the death of the former incumbent. Who was our previous GLT?
A: Counterfeiting councillor Cyril Hoser
B: Ear-lopping dauber Vincent van Gogh
C: Clanger-creating animator Oliver Postgate
Answer: C - sadly he ceased to be animated earlier in the month.
So how did you do?
0 - 4 correct answers - Gary Glitter's just moved in next door
5 - 8 correct answers - Sandy Beach does your carpets
9 - 12 correct answers - Krug and canapes at my cliff top mansion!
Right, I'm off to wrap the prezzies - Bertie the Burmese is getting a tinkly ball and a squeaky mouse this year! And may I just take this opportunity to wish all my readers a very merry Christmas and the best of British for 2009 (you'll need it). And to those I've offended during the course of 2008 may I also say from the very bottom of my heart - tough titty. Pip pip!
3 comments:
And the final question: "Whose nuts would Sandy Beach most like to see roasting over his Yuletide flames?"
A. Cllr.Clive Hart
B. Cllr.Iris Johnson (yes, rumour has it that she possesses a fine pair)
C. ECR
Has to be C!
Nah - I sent him a Yuletide log this year. He was that chuffed!
Post a Comment