Vantastic News!

Ker-ching! I see a new book has concluded that Van Gogh's ear was wrapped in cloth and given to a prostitute called Rachel after it was chopped off!

According to In Van Gogh's Ear: Paul Gauguin and the Pact of Silence, it was actually Gauguin who removed the lughole in question with a sword during a spot of argy-bargy. Of course, it's a bit of a grey area as to whether this happened during Vince's stint as an English teacher in Ramsgate. But it shouldn't be too hard to establish that there was a prostitute called Rachel hanging around the Cannes of Kent at the time, which would add even more substance to my discovery of the above artifact in the loft here at the old cliff top mansion.

So, if you've got a spare mill burning a hole in your pocket, Gogh up and you could own a piece of the master!

PS: I've been feeling a bit under the weather today due to, er, having overdone it over the BH weekend. So apologies for not responding to or publishing your very interesting emails... I should be back up to speed tomorrow so watch this space!

Ear piece on BBC News website

Ear Today, Gone Today

Curses! Those blighters at earBay have removed my £1m Van Gogh ear listing, saying it breaches their Human Body Parts and Remains policy! Their email explains:

You're not allowed to list live or dead people or human body parts on eBay. Examples of prohibited body parts include, but are not limited to, organs, bone, blood, waste, sperm and eggs. [Sounds like the full monty at the Beano Caff - Ed.]

Kuh! What a way to prevent someone from, er, 'scratching' a living eh? Oh well, if you still want to bid, you can always contact me direct at the email address in the sidebar on the right. Happy bidding!

Ear Piece

Holy Gogholes! I see today's Thanet Times has followed up my £1m earBay auction, calling me a 'cheeky prankster'. Now how on ear-th could they have got that idea (Geddit?!?!!!!?).

Actually it may yet be a case of 'friends, Ramsgatonians, countrymen - lend me your ears' as I've had more than 200 people looking into my ear so far. Messages of interest include:

Hi. It does look like a left ear which is a worry, as I think it is his right that was missing. I might bid anyway, but having bought Hitler's bollocks this year I am concerned that it is a kosher item to add to my collection. Please advise.

Is the ear past its sell by date? And is it waxed or unwaxed?

Hello, can you please provide an image of the Vincent letter/note accompanying this piece?

And, er...

nice try chief ive got sweaty bollocks an all. ten out of ten for tryin tho haha

So lop off your lugholes (alternatively I find Mr Porky a reasonable substitute) and get those millions pouring in for the Van Gogh Centre here in Thanet's premier town!

Click here to see Van Gogh's ear listed on eBay
Click here to read full story on Gazunder website

Ramsgate Man Finds Van Gogh's Ear

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Arts Correspondent Mary Hinge

A Ramsgate man is hoping for a 'Happy New Ear!' following a find that could turn out to be 'Cash in the Attic'!

Local celebrity Richard Eastcliff was clearing out the loft of his Victorian cliff top mansion over the holidays when he came across a chest full of old documents. One of them was a letter addressed to 'Miss Betty Swallochs, The Hague, Netherlands', but the 29 year old former TV star could never have guessed what he was about to find inside!

Scary Fright

'I opened it and out dropped what looked like a mummified ear,' Mr Eastcliff told the Gazunder. 'I'd never seen anything like it. Once I got over the shock, I saw there was also a note inside.' The note read: 'All my lobe, Vincent'.

Eary Feeling

Van Gogh, whose paintings sell for up to $85m, is documented as having stayed in Ramsgate while he was teaching there in 1876. The Dutch artist even sketched the view from his bedroom window on Spencer Square. Although he is known to have cut off part of his left ear following a row with fellow artist Gauguin in 1888, no mention has ever been made of what happened to his right ear.

earBay

Mr Eastcliff has now put the ear up for sale on internet auction site eBay, with a £1m minimum bid. 'I think it could well be of interest to galleries, collectors or trusts,' he said. 'It may even attract scientists who want to perform DNA testing on it. If Van Gogh's paintings can go for millions, just think how much a piece of the artist himself might be worth!'

He said he hoped the ear might form the centrepiece of an international Van Gogh Museum based in Ramsgate which 'would knock Margate's planned Turner Centre into a cocked hat'. But he admitted: 'At the end of the day I need the money, following an ill-advised investment in my former accountant Cyril's Virgin Island-based hedge fund last year.'

Click here to see Van Gogh's ear listed on eBay
Click here to see Van Gogh's sketch of Ramsgate

Internet listing: Mr Eastcliff hopes to turn artist's ear into a silk purse

There Is Nothing Like A Dame

We are seldom graced by (almost) royalty here in the world of Thanet blogging, so it is with enormous pleasure that I can reveal that Dame Janet has started her own site.

You'll recall that her royal gracious loveliness was runner-up in my Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate, and has very magnanimously been instrumental in helping to put together the collection for my Van Gogh Contemporary here in the Ile's premiere town.

She's just about to publish a splendid book on women's suffrage in East Kent from 1909-1918, but is also interested in women's history in Kent generally. Her radiant gorgeousness has asked me to point out that it's very early days for her blog, and requested that I be nice. Well, ma'am, am I ever anything else?

VG News

Unfortunately Friday's pub crawl turned into a bit of a session. I believe the current usage is 'mullared'. Consequently I spent the whole of yesterday nursing the mother of all hangovers.

Still, back in harness today, and Dame Janet has emailed me this delightful sketch of Ramsgate by none other than old One Ear himself, Vincent Van Gogh. I'm not sure if she's got the original, but if she has it will make an excellent addition to my Van Gogh Contemporary!

Ramsgreat Ideas - The Winner!

The judges (me) have spent most of the day scrutinising the piles of entries in my Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate. The idea was to give Ramsgate an iconic building for the 21st Century, seeing as most of the publicity, and money, seems to go to Margate these days.

The top three have now been picked, and so, in true showbiz fashion, I'll announce the winners in reverse order.

In third place is Terracotta Glenn with his idea, based on a visit to China's famous terracotta army, to place larger-than-lifesize terracotta Vikings along our seafront. Here's what it might look like:

In second place is Dame Janet's comprehensive re-working of the seafront, including a restored Royal Pavilion, swimming pool and skate park (although presumably other types of fish will also be exhibited). You can take a peek at Dame Janet's entry here.

And now for the winner (drum roll). It gives me enormous pleasure to announce that the Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate goes to... Richard Eastcliff, for his suggestion that Ramsgate should build a Van Gogh Contemporary, seeing as the monaural artist spent at least ten minutes enjoying a cup of tea here once, and if it's good enough for Margate, it should be good enough for us too.

I will forthwith be applying to the relevant authorities for a grant of £169m, which I am assured from initial exploratory discussions will arrive in the form of an open cheque next week.