Fokker Off

Holy joysticks! With the last KLM flight out of Manston departing this morning, I see the airline has vowed never to return to our septic isle!

In an exclusive interview with Air Transport World, KLM's Cityhopper MD Boet Kreiken said: 'We can’t leave the booking window open if they can’t guarantee operations after April 9. We can’t do business in a shaky environment. That’s not possible, not for the company, or our customers.'

Which will come as a, er, blow to all those Thanetians who were talking about hopping over to Amsterdam to enjoy the city's coffee shops. Actually, thinking about it, none of the ones I came across ever seemed to have the sponds to fund such a trip. Oh well, they'll have to hope that Councillor Motormouth's plan to open a cannabis cafe in Thanet comes to fruitation!

The KLM boss added: 'Now it is game over. We will redeploy the aircraft. We are gone. We can’t flip-flop in and out all the time. That is not the way we work.'

Cargolux have already relocated to Stansted, and Newmarket Holidays are eyeing up Lydd, so it's really looking like there'll be no happy landings for RAFMMTECNDMTSSPI Airport. Which is a bit of a shame, as I'll have to find somewhere else to park my Lear jet now.

Still, per ardua ad astra, as the fly boys say! Which is why I've popped one of my 7 day polls in the column on the right. What do you think the future of Manston should be? Pip pip!

Click here to read KLM comments in Air Transport World.

Click here to read Newmarket Holidays story in Kent Messenger.

Click here to watch video of the last KLM flight on Thanet Gazette website.

Sweet!

Toddling around Ramsgate this afternoon, I was chuffed to see that these long-abandoned premises at the end of Harbour Street have been almost instantaneously transformed into a Mr Simms Olde Sweet Shoppe, just like the one they have in The Smoke (Margate)!!

Mr Simms is exactly the kind of emporium we need here in the Millionaires' Playground, what with its 500-penny chews and £14.65 bars of chocolate. That should topple the towers of Haribo and other chewy crap from the counters of the local Costcutters!

Down on the Croisette, things were buzzing. Amusement arcades and ice cream parlours were packed, even the Maritime Museum was open. And everywhere tourists were being dive bombed by flying poodles, keen to snatch the cornets out of their hands. If I hadn't pinched m'self, I'd have thought I was in a thriving seaside town!!

Alarming News

Ramsgate reader Pete writes:

We have a car parked outside our house. It isn't ours and it doesn't belong to any of our neighbours. Somebody who lives elsewhere has parked it there. It's quite a nice car so they have set the alarm. But the alarm is faulty. It goes off intermittently throughout the day and night. It's been doing this since Sunday night.

I phoned the police. They have access to the registration details and can contact the owner. However, they tell me they have no powers to make the owner turn the alarm off. They gave me a number to ring for TDC's environmental protection team.

The number they gave me took me to an answerphone message saying that this number was now defunct. It told me that TDC only works during office hours (in my experience they don't do much then, either). The call was then diverted to a call centre run by Amiscus Horizon in Sittingbourne. A cheery chap on the end of the line told me that TDC doesn't provide any service for dealing with noise complaints out of hours. He told me that I would need to make repeated complaints to the Council and that, eventually, they might issue some kind of enforcement notice to the owner. I'm assuming the battery on the car will have gone flat before this happens.

I'm just wondering what happened to the jack-booted militia who were all set to confiscate our stereos and ghetto-blasters. I was under the impression that Councils were supposed to enforce the legislation which had been introduced to deal with noisy neighbours. Just wait until the unwashed serving classes find out that they can crank up the volume and that granny next-door can do nothing about it. The Millionaires' Playground will soon become the Rappers' Playpen.

P.S. We have to create employment in Thanet, so we contract out answering the phone to a chap in Sittingbourne. Presumably nobody on the dole in Thanet is qualified to answer a phone?

Well Pete, I find the flying poodles pretty annoying at this time of year too, what with all their, er, 'fighting' at four in the morning. So I've taken to kipping in a pair of industrial strength ear defenders. Maybe TDC could save the dosh they spend on providing non-services by issuing a couple of pairs free to every household?

Blimp My Ride

Reader David Chamberlain writes:

Zeppelins again over Thanet! The test flight of our 15' (indoor) radio controlled exhibition blimp takes place at the Westgate Pavillion this Thursday (today) between 09:00 hours & 13:00 hours, 9 & 1 in pre-decimal for you non-aeronautical sorts. We'd like to find sponsorship for a 20 to 30 footer outdoor blimp so if you know any media types with too much money and a hole to burn it through we'd like to know. Just hope the doctor doesn't shoot it down!

I am also looking at offering low level aerial cam shots for roofing companies, guttering firms utilising a camera carrying helicoptor, it might save loads on scaffolding and ladders. I might even send it up over your mansion to see if them Boeings have blown anymore stuff off your roof!

And just in case you're wondering what an '(indoor) radio controlled exhibition blimp' looks like, David's kindly sent this link to one that someone else prepared earlier:

Pigs Might Fly

Yikes! It seems the BBC has discovered a new colony of penguins that have evolved an extraordinary ability to fly! Thanks to Dane Valley Ted for the link.

Click here to see flying penguins on BBC iPlayer.

Starfishy Business

As the local papers tend to follow up my jottings on a regular basis, I thought I'd return the compliment and have a little delve into a story they've been running.

Thousands of dead starfish have been washed up recently in Pegwell Bay, providing an unexpected feast for the KFC gulls. Well, at least it's temporarily keeping them away from the bin bags in Augusta Road. But there's been a mass debate over what's caused the mass extinction. Some wags have put it down to the adjacent Viagra factory, and posited that they've rogered themselves to death after some kind of aquatic orgy. Others have put it down to the tons of poisonous slag from local coal mines that was used in building the apron of the now defunct hoverport, and which is now leeching into this SSSI.

However, having pensively sucked on a couple of Fisherman's Friends I've come up with another theory. It seems the starfish feed on mussels. And the mussel beds are regularly trawled by local fisherfolk looking for a lucrative catch, dragging up our five-fingered fishy friends in the process. Hence the feast for the flying poodles. Rotters!

Click here to go to angling forum on dead starfish in Pegwell Bay

Photo: Reader Steve

Faded stars: Pegwell Bay at the weekend

Chocolate Fountain

Good heavens! What on earth has happened to the trendy East Cliff's Festival of Britain Fountain? Here it is in November last year:

And here it is this morning:

I know the KFC gulls have a penchant for irrigating their colons in the fountains foamy spumes (who wouldn't after a chomp on the Colonel's finest?), but this is meant to be a historic, decorative feature not a flaming bird bath! All that gull poop's turning it green!

Gull Cull

Has anyone else noticed a significant increase in the number of squished seagulls on our roads recently?

I know I've complained about the pesky blighters in the past, and they are the size of poodles round here given that the Uranians have steadfastly omitted to grant us any system of gull-proof refuse containers such as wheelie bins, but I do regard them as an integral part of the traditional seaside scene and wish them no instrinsic harm. Blimey, that was a long sentence. Oh well, today is the longest day so it's only fitting.

I wonder if Gullbusters have been on the offensive in their armoured, bird-busting steamroller?