Derek Hartorah's Spirit World Of Politics

Only in your super, soaraway Eastcliff Richard! Each week Thanet's Labour leader Derek Hartorah sees what's coming in his crystal ball, politically speaking!

When our faithful poodle Alan passed over into the spirit world this week we were devastated. These wonderful creatures give so much comfort and love but are only with us here in the physical realm for a short time. Ten years seemed to go so quickly.

But I am here to assure you that, like us, they live on. Recently I felt Alan's presence during an art installation in Cliftonville. It seemed he was jealous of the Irish Wolfhound, Iris, that I acquired after he passed over. Iris is a very different kind of animal. She's more of an affectionate show-off than Alan and seems inclined to learn all manner of tricks. Her rather chirpy disposition has not endeared her to the other dogs in the area though, and only yesterday I had to chase away a stout little Jack Russell who seemed intent on shafting poor old Iris up the poo-chute.

Alan came to me again the other week, over lunch at the Greedy Cow, and informed me that, sadly, Iris would soon be joining him in the after life, and that my next dog would be a Pomeranian called David.

That's enough Derek Hartorah - Ed.

Spectacular End For Ostend Spirit

Holy shipwrecks! If you've ever wondered what it would be like to stand on a beach with a ruddy great cross channel ferry steaming towards you at full tilt, then this is the video for you!

The ferry in question is none other than our own Ostend Spirit, which, after we forked out £700,000 in 2010 to dredge the Port of Ramsgate to accommodate it, spent a grand total of, er, not very long operating on behalf of the now defunct TransEuropa Ferries between here and Oostende. The very same Ostend Spirit, in fact, that was occupied by its Slovenian crew in Tilbury for weeks while they demanded unpaid wages after TransEuropa sank without trace, taking £3.4m of our council tax with it.

The very, very same Ostend Spirit that could have been seized in our port and sold to recoup some of our decimated dosh, had not Our Harvey been out to lunch when the harbour master rang to tell him it was about to set sail and request permission to nab it.

Well, it's junk now, having been sold to a breakers yard in Turkey for scrap, which is where the video comes from.

Meanwhile TDC's spin doctors have been rotating at 20,000rpm to bring you the news that Ramsgate has been granted £161K of eurofunding 'to build on the success of this increasingly busy port'. Well, that's what it says in the Maritime Journal, and who am I to disagree?!!

Deloitted To Meet You

So there you are, a dufferish district council that has attracted a fair amount of controversy over its asset disposal plans on a sea front in deepest, darkest Kent.

You're trying to reassign the leasehold to a listed building. The whole sorry saga has been mired in claims and counter-claims, to the point where you've even been accused of seriously misleading your electorate, the people who vote you in and pay your wages and expenses.

What you really want is a great, big pub company to take the whole thing off your hands. But now so many questions have been raised that you're going to have to at least pay lip service to public opinion and be seen to be doing the right thing.

Perhaps you need some independent advice to get yourself out of the mire? Call in some unbiased experts so that you could demonstrate there was no conflict of interest once the lease has been handed over to the pubco? Good thinking!

Now, who do you hire? Yes, that's right, the same people who do the accounts for the great, big pub company.

No, dear reader, I haven't made it up. You couldn't.

Update February 2014: Since this item was published, TDC have given Deloittes the boot. Another victory for me! Hurrah!

Ask Colonel Bufton

Only in your super, soaraway Eastcliff Richard! Each week our Commander-in-Chief of all agony uncles, Colonel Bufton, tackles your personal problems!

Dear Colonel Bufton, I am a gay man living in a civil partnership. My partner and I are thinking of relocating to the Isle of Thanet, but we have heard that the area is a UKIP stronghold. Do you think we should reconsider? T.

Colonel Bufton writes: Oh do shut your bone box and give your bellows a rest, there's a good fellow. It's fart catchers like you who give the place a bad name, causing the Wantsum to fill up again an' all, what! Get a bit of dash-fire in your loins and find yourself a memsahib! What!

Dear Colonel Bufton, I am Bulgar woman please excuse bad English. I want field picking job in England and think to relocate with the Isle of Thanet. But I am hearing from friends that bad men who hate Europe come and spoil things with it. Do you think I reconsider? Ж.

Colonel Bufton writes: You are undoubtedly off your chump. We don't want sauceboxes like you here, what! Tell your chums in Bongo Bongo Land, or wherever it is you come from, that they are not welcome in Blighty! Now cut your stick, you snotter! What!

Dear Colonel Bufton, I am a thoroughly British gent who likes a pint and a ciggie. As the next step in my political career, I am thinking of relocating to the Isle of Thanet, but I have heard the area is a stronghold for the smelly socks brigade. Do you think I should reconsider? N.

Colonel Bufton writes: My dear chap, we would be absolutely delighted to see you here in Thanet, what! You sound like just the sort of decent cove we're looking for. I would be chuffed to buggery to welcome you into my home, as would Mrs Bufton, who has asked me to add that she would be privileged to let you take her up the smeller. Chin chin! What!

That's enough Colonel Bufton - Ed.

Kiss Me Margate?

Hmmm. I'm not quite sure what Topshop are suggesting here. Unless 'Margate' is vernacular for those parts that only the former Chief Exec of the Lib Dems can reach. Allegedly.

Oh well. One thing that will be kissing the clouds over Margate, and the rest of the island, should the air traffic control chaps at NATS get their way, is planes taking off from London City and Gatwick airports. The 'London Airspace Consultation' ends next Tuesday, so get your proverbials on if you want to have your say. Although anyone who can make sense of their Dad's Army style maps is a better man that I am, Gunga Din.

Whatever. If it means the grimy norf side of Fannit finally getting its fair share of aircraft noise, I'm all for it!

Right. I'm off down the Croisette here in the Millionaires' Playground for my traditional Friday night Krug and caviar! Toodle-pip!

Back To The Future?

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed a recent trend towards blasting on the past when it comes to the future of the Millionaires' Playground?

For example, the excellent Ramsgate Music Hall has recently opened. Its Victorian branding and moniker resonate more of unicycling Basset Hounds and plate spinning contortionists than the groovy sounds that are actually emanating from the place.

Then there's Albion House, rapidly being transformed into a boutique hotel which will very much draw from the heritage of the place. I hear rumour that there'll even be a King and Country Bar!

And now we have the imminent arrival of The Empire Room, a splendid looking restaurant addition to The Royal Harbour Hotel, over on the west side of town. Click on the pic above to visit their website.

I dunno. I guess with all the magnificent Victorian architecture around Ramsgate, and perhaps with a little sprinkling of the WW1 Centenary this year, nostalgia is rapidly getting back to what it used to be! Which is why, once the previous bodgers have been swept away from the Pleasurama Eyesore next month, I'll be putting in my bid to build a Barnum and Bailey style freak show on the site. After all, there's certainly no shortage of exhibits in these parts - bearded ladies, man-monkeys, cigar-smoking five year olds, skeleton women, elephant women, women who bang six inch nails into wood with their foreheads.... the possibilities are endless. Who knows, with my plan for a tattooed chav enclosure, I might even get public funding!

Frankincensed?

Probably a bit too late to catch the spirit of the festive season with that headline. But then I've only got a couple of NEETs on minimum wage subbing this rubbish, so beggars can't be choosers.

Moving on... With the official launch of yet another Thanet bar this coming weekend, and now tours of the island's burgeoning micro pub scene being offered by 'Galvers', whose well-thumbed flyer I found in a local hostelry, you do begin to wonder whether our local tavern tycoon is feeling the pinch. (Galvers, by the way, seems to have left off the excellent Lifeboat in Margate, and The Chapel in Broadstairs for some reason.)

With the rise and rise of the Planet Thanet Easter Beer Festival over the past decade, alongside a nationwide resurgence in real ale quaffing, it's no wonder DFLs and bright young locals are jumping on the beerwagon and opening up their own, intimate, boozy businesses to cash in.

Of course Mr T, one of Plane Jane's Picks of the Year in the Isle of Thanet Gazunder a couple of weeks ago, has moved with the times, and it's now possible to get a decent pint of e.g. Gadds' in at least some of his establishments. The khazis are usually spotless too. And the bar staff friendly and helpful. But my guess is he must be wondering whether his mid-market offering is in danger of being squeezed between the small, upmarket bars and the megaboozers run by ambitious national chains like Wetherspoons.

Anyhow, the latest addition to the scene is The Glass Jar on Margate's Marine Drive, run by none other than my old journalist chum, former yourfannitinnit hack Tom Betts. The official launch is this Saturday, with a late licence until 1am. Tom says: 'There will be a free glass of bubbly and the ever popular 'nibbles' laid on. Dress as smart as you can and bring your partner or a friend along (no morons though, yeah?)'.

Well, Tom's a very nice chap, and I wish him all the best with his venture.

And while I'm in a congratulatory mood, jolly well done to those Friends of Ramsgate Seafront types who spent the weekend tarting up the Royal Victoria Pavilion here in the Millionaires' Playground, along with volunteers from local schools, and some help from our teeny-tiny council.

It just shows what people power can do! Y'know, the more I think about it, the more I get the feeling that the bad old days (2007), when everything on our septic isle was carved up by an elite coterie of old-timer public and private individuals who effectively ran the island, dispensing brarn envelopes or 'advice' (usually delivered by a pair of sturdy, trench-coated individuals) at will, is rapidly coming to an end. Hurrah!

Manston Owner Denied Planning Permission

Cripes! RAF Kent Manston Margate Tracey Emin Chas 'n' Dave Maggie Thatcher Schipol Skyport Poundland International Airport's new owner Ann Gloag has lost a planning battle to build a row of new homes!

Hmmm. Well. It's a bit of a slow news week. So the story, which I spotted in The Scotsman, relates to a patch quite a few miles north of our septic isle. Somewhere called Kinfauns, in fact.

According to the paper, the 71 year old former nurse, one of Scotland's wealthiest women, wanted to build a row of three bedroomed houses on a green belt site which objectors said breached 'just about every planning policy for the location'.

Stagecoach tycoon Ann, who shares in an estimated £650m fortune with her brother Sir Brian Souter, bought RAFMMTECNDMTSSPI Airport in November for £1. It's not the first time she's been criticised for blight planning. In 2012 she obtained planning permission for another development which Forestry Commission Scotland warned would ruin an area of ancient woodland, and which locals said would cause property prices to plummet.

Talking of blights, what on earth, or, indeed, in air, was that unmarked plane doing the rounds over Ramsgate this morning? My Plane Finder app had it down as HFI 651K, but unusually, when I popped that into Google, instead of the usual slew of anorak data, all I got was the one hit - for a number plate vendor.

It's ironic, as Annie G won a landmark case in Scotland in 2007 to keep ramblers out of the ten acres of grounds surrounding her castle. She seems to have no problem sending planes over my cliff top mansion, though!

Ah, but maybe, as one of my Twatter followers suggested, it's covert practice for a bombing run over the Pleasurama Eyesore at the end of next month!

Update: Yikes! The day after I wrote this, Ann Gloag cancelled this year's Manston Air Show!

Weather News

Whilst us Thanetians haven't yet been affected by the polar vortex that's clagged up most of North America, I'm not taking any chances, and have kitted out the old jalopy accordingly. Boris the Bulgarian, round at that corner garage, did a very nice job - at a very nice price!

We have, nonetheless, been experiencing the odd blow down here on Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula. According to the excellent FixMyStreet website (from which I have purloined the photo below) the hoarding around the Granville Eyesore here on the trendy East Cliff has succumbed, and is partially blocking a road...

I guess the owner, a Mr Jason Hough who lives in Surrey and bought the site for a paltry £165K, couldn't really be expected to give much of the proverbial tinker's, especially given that his recent planning application to build 1,235,987 flats there was rejected. I must say, though, that with last year's tragedy over at the Ramsgate flour mill still fresh in people's minds, and with the parlous state of the deep earthworks on the site, he's taking a bit of a gamble leaving it exposed like that.

Meanwhile I see the Ramsgate Society is offering a £100 reward for information leading to the conviction the knuckle-dragging vandals who desecrated the restored shelters on the front. Good luck with that!

And the Krug is on ice for the end of next month, when the deadline for those other knuckle-dragging vandals, SFP Ventures, to get on with their non-development at the Pleasurama Eyesore runs out. Our beloved council appears to have grown a full set of cajones this time, the indications being they will tell SFP to shove it where the sun doesn't shine (Margate? - Ed.). About time too.

My chum Councillor Motormouth has already congratulated the 1000+ Friends of Ramsgate Seafront group, which has, er, 1000-handedly carried out a high profile Facebook campaign to rid the town of this more-than-decade-long blot on our seascape. That seems a trifle premature, but what the heck! Well done chaps!

Now, what are we going to put in its place? Heritage theme park? Van Gogh Museum? Ginormagantuan Wetherspoons? Site-specific barker's nest installation? Answers below please.

Pip pip!

Update Jan 2014: The hoarding has now been repaired - hurrah!
Update Feb 2014: But now the rest of it has blown down - boo!

Crappy New Year!

Hello ECR fans! In fact, hello generally!

As you can see from the press release below, I've wrested control of the old blog back from those chaps at Angloway Media - hurrah! It was a tough fight, but once I offered the princely sum of one whole British sov, they caved in. So it's out with the old and in with, er, the old again.

What, I hear you ask, is new for 2014 then? Well, not a lot really. Our beloved council is still struggling to clean up after the festivities, and has had to apologise for getting it sooooo wrong with the new recycling system. Same old, same old.

Along the trendy East Cliff here in the Millionaires' Playground, the shelters have been vandalised once more. My contact in the trench coat and trilby writes: 'The shelter nearest the kiosk on Victoria Parade was wrecked last night. Five windows smashed....'

The same East Cliff spy also clocked another of these recently renovated shelters, the one closest to the park, smashed on New Year's Day, adding: 'It also reeks of human poo.' Eurgh!

It's not the first time these shelters have been vandalised, and you have to wonder what kind of nitwit knuckle-draggers are perpetrating these acts of wilful incivility. As you know, I'm not the hang 'em and flog 'em type, but I have to say I'd be the first in line to pop along and blow raspberries if the woefully short arm of the law were ever to catch up with them and they were made to do community service!

Better news, however, on the beer front. I was invited along to the launch of Gadds' Uberhop last night at the excellent Ramsgate Music Hall. This splendid, lagerised (technical term) beer was first brewed for the Planet Thanet Beer Festival in 2010, and has been revived due to popular demand. I must say, I don't remember much about the 2010 Beer Festival, thanks mostly to the Uberhop. Similarly, I don't recall all that much about last night! Happy days!

Press Release From Richard Eastcliff Holdings (Virgin Islands) (2014) Ltd

The directors of Richard Eastcliff Holdings (Virgin Islands) (2014) Ltd are pleased to announce the purchase of the weblog currently known as 'The Daily Thanet', along with all associated assets, for £1.

Commenting on the purchase, Richard Eastcliff Holdings (Virgin Islands) (2014) Ltd Managing Director Richard Easctliff said: "With a readership in the tens of thousands per month, we see great potential for this site, which fits our strategy of acquiring hyper-local media assets."

The site's former editor has been retained on a six month consultancy basis to oversee the smooth transition of the business to the new owners.

Further announcements regarding the future of the site are expected shortly.