Thursday, May 02, 2013

Whatever Floats Your Vote

Yippee! It's voting day!! Although an early straw poll of the usual pissed up and superannuated knob-knuckles dragging themselves along the street outside the old cliff top mansion resulted in a variety of reactions to my simple question: 'Morning! Election?', ranging from blank stares to the downright pugilistic.

Of course, as this is a vote for Kent County Council, and as KCC is currently bluer than my old showbiz chum Roy 'Chubby' Brown, the outcome is a foregone conclusion. Much of the county appears to be in the grips of a perpetual, true blue voodoo session in the desperate hope of bringing The Witch back from her grave to save/ruin the nation again.

Consequently Ruddy-Faced Man can comfortably look forward to another 1000 years of lording it over his Kentish reich from his Maidstone bunker, methinks. As you may be able to tell, I don't like Tories.

The real question is, how should I vote if I want to make any kind of difference here in Ramsgate?

UKIP? Well, on the Ile de Thanet at least, they seem to consist of disaffected Tories who are so right wing they think Thatcher was a commie plant. Or just outright, former Nazis. Strange how so many flabby, old decrepit men living with young, pneumatic, Thai brides can still object to foreigners swamping their country without a hint of irony, isn't it?

Greens? No, I already have a Toyota Priapus, thanks.

Yellows? Nope. Can't forgive them for becoming Bum-Faced Cameron's new bum chums.

Independents? Nobody can have failed to notice Ian 'Pile' (take that whichever way you like) Driver. He's been accused of being a motormouth and a 'career politician'. Er, hello! That's what most politicians are, ne c'est pas? I'd rather have someone representing me who was vocal and local, and spent his entire time gobbing off about Pleasurama, live exports, our derelict seafront, pooey beaches, and council corruption than the usual, mealy-mouthed, bent and pissed 'yes' men we have around here. And I admire his big, hairy, northern balls in publishing 'confidential' council documents that we all have a right to see. It's our money they're pissing away, after all. In fact, he reminds me a little bit of me (except I'm in no way northern, I hasten to add).

Two minor problems though. He isn't local. He lives in Boredstares, which is barely forgivable. And he has some cockamamie plan to declare UDI from Kent and Europe. But then that will never happen.

Then there's the lovely Liz Green, our local Labour lass. Not only does she actually live in the heart of Ramsgate, she also fights tirelessly (albeit quietly) on the town's behalf. She's helped me out of Duffer-induced pickles on many occasions. Oh, and have I mentioned she's lovely, too?

So I guess those latter two will get my vote when I stroll down to the jolly old polling station later. But who knows? As ever, I might always change my mind as I walk in!

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Leaving your 6th form politics and Driver brownnosing aside for a moment, you've been rather quiet on the 0% salaries corruption, Labour Chinagate bung and overflights by Cargolux etc: 3 today?

Which candidate has raised those for your vote? The trip to the ballot box will be wasted on these points.

Richard Eastcliff said...

Thanks for raising the quality of the debate once again, Mr Garbled. Always appreciated!

Anonymous said...

Mr Garbled .. I like it :-)

Your blog still says "Tim Garbutt: standing for directly-elected Ramsgate Mayor and MP, 5th May 2011"

a bit out of date ...

Allan Mallinson said...

Anon 12:37, dementia is setting in because you forgot the aquifer this time. By the way, didn't you earlier predict that they were all going to be kicked out at this election.

Let me tell you something. Every time we kick out a politician another one takes his place. Live with it, old 0%, the rest of us have to.

I am with ECR, I will decide as I enter the booth and it could be based on which party teller has the nicest knockers.

Anonymous said...

I've certainly snapped to attention, Mr let me tell you something Mallinson for your views. Except politicians don't replace themselves always. Parliament for example has reduced the number of MP's.

The same should happen in Kent. 84 councillors when they're the same as at District is a waste if not a sham.

While the point about falling turnouts means we have - in effect - bureaucrats form-filling for political positions rather than politicians standing on policies.

What will be the turnout for today's election? 20%? 30%? 40%? And the vote for each candidate? 1,000? 5,000? 10,000?

Anonymous said...

I'll say 25% and maybe a bit higher because of UKIP's efforts?

Not sure about the individual vote but it definitely won't be all-blue as before.

Peter Checksfield said...

I don't care who gets elected as long as it's not:

Matthew Brown (lazy twat with a silly hat)

Tony Flaig (fat bloke with huge chip on his shoulder)

Louise Oldfield (northern totty who loves crumbling tower blocks as long as there's no Tesco near them)

Anonymous said...

ECR - I think you may have frightened Aquifer Man's horses with your dismissal of the greens and all that talk about Thai brides ;-)

Anonymous said...

I think your voting summaries are the best Peter. A bit harsh on Flaigy though I think he's perhaps the best of the new candidates. Certainly better than most of the existing ones: Pfizer and the Port closing is disastrous as is poo on the beach and animal exports and most of the council leaders resigning or jailed. if they could have improved things...

Allan Mallinson said...

Anon 1:29, sorry to disappoint you and all that, but parliament have not reduced the number of MPs. That was part of the bill reshaping the constituencies from 650 to 600, but nasty Nick threw his toys out of the pram and withdrew the Lib/Dems support. It will not now become law in this parliament, or ever if Labour get back in i8n 2015. Not very up to speed are we?

Off now to check out the tellers knockers and thus cast my vote.

Anonymous said...

Come on ECR keep up with the news "The Dreamland Trust’s £11 million plans to build a heritage amusement park on Margate seafront could be weeks away as Judge Philip Sycamore rejected the owners’ challenge to the scheme"

Lyndon T Palmer said...

Who calls me ?

Have any Thanet tories had contact with this chap a self styled Papal Knight (pay by Paypal Knight)

Well ITMA (you explain ECR your era)

ITMA ditto ditto ditto

And A run in vis a vis stolen firaems USA ?

What is this matter for clarification about ? Well one of that myriad of struck off training companies (EMT training) used to rent rooms at Stoke Royal Infirmary. And charge about £500 for a course leading to EMT accreditation that appears to maybe have been accreditation by another of the myriad of ltd companies.

Which intrepid aviating TDC tory Cllr has on his CV that he trained as an EMT at Stoke Royal Infirmary?

Please clarify Simon.

Which gun ranges have you used ? Please clarify Simon.

Did your pen run out on the members declaration of interest in July 2012 mate ? Cos I don't see a UK directorship, a consultancy or a USA directorship for Airads listed there. Sure that can be cleared up.

And finally when in the RMR Commandos at College circa 1975 did Simon meet the newly formed nearby Croydon based "RMR TA" bogus basis for the "Combat Training Team Royal Marines" that gained use of Deal RM Barracks gym from 75 to 82?

Simples. Give the TDC Monitoring Officer your service record. The old green beret award and clear it all up mate.

Sure it can be sorted.

Richard Eastcliff said...

Thanks for that Irritating Bloke (or Lyndon T Palmer, or Richard Card, or whatever your aka is these days).

As ever, I have no idea what you are droning on about. Still, whatever it is, it sounds fascinating!

As for Dreamland 3:08pm, I'm glad to hear the judge has finally done it justice. I look forward to riding on Wayne Hemingway's knack... er, heritage rides in the very near future!

Anonymous said...

This isn't Simon's blog, silly!

Readit said...

Saw an advert for Dreamland on telly, it ends "What sort of cheese was that"

John Holyer said...

So this is the new stalking ground for the Manston Aquifer Man. I wondered where he had got to.

Richard Eastcliff said...

Yes - Michael must be relieved!

Anonymous said...

So the earliest any sort of Dreamland could open would be Summer 2014? 2015? Even 2016?

Anonymous said...

12 million and god knows how much fighting it down the drain imo as all it will attract is a few London luvvies who will come once and never return

Anonymous said...

Thanet do-nothing-ism 6:03 Dreamland was a huge tourist attraction and can be again

Peter Checksfield said...

So was Pleasurama 6:25!

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to EKO? Was that roadworks or something for Dreamland? Lots of mystery money was spent on whatever it was.

Richard Eastcliff said...

EKO? Aren't they a local pub band?

No, but seriously, what did happen to EKO? They were trying to turn it into a housing estate, the last I heard.

Anonymous said...

Louise Oldfield isn't even a candidate in today's elections. She's a candidate in the TDC election next thursday to replace Sandy Ezekiel.

Anonymous said...

I see that Chippy Tone is back to his usual self!