Potato Head

Alas, dear reader, this may be my last post for a few days. I've got to peel off as I've been booked as the after-dinner speaker at a symposium in Yokohama in aid of the International Year of the Potato, the only global meeting where, when they take a vote, the eyes always have it. Oh well, it'll be an opportunity to get mashed, I suppose.

But don't y'all get to thinking I've had my chips. Like phytophthora infestans, you can't get rid of me that easily! Pip pip!

Media Goes Thanet Earth Crazy!

Not content with sending John Craven down here to the tip of Kent the other week, the BBC spent it's entire Breakfast programme over at the Monkton tomato factory this morning. And my old chum Chris Evans dedicated a spot to it on his afternoon show on Radio 2 yesterday.

That's in addition to puffs this week in the Guardian, the Daily Mail, the Torygraph and the Observer (which at least had the cajones to utter the words 'utterly tasteless, hydroponically grown tomatoes, identical uber-cucumbers and iceberg lettuce'). Wow! Some PR guy is really earning his fizz, if you catch my drift! Not much mention in any of them, though, that the produce will never actually touch the earth of Thanet as it will all be grown in a watery consommé of 'nutrients' a metre off the ground. Or that they'll be tapping our salt marshes to top up their H20 supply. But hey-ho. Mr Public Relations and Mr Entire Truth hardly ever share a table at the Ivy in my experience!

Click here for Thanet Earth story in the Guardian
Click here for Thanet Earth story in the Daily Mail
Click here for Thanet Earth story in the Telegraph
Click here for Thanet Earth story in the Observer
Click here for a less glowing critique of Thanet Earth

Greenhouse Effect

Good to see my old TV chum John Craven meandering around the Ile de Thanet on today's Countryfile on BBC1. He ended up at Thanet Earth, the new 28 squillion acre greenhouse that's being built out Manston way, which will have its own gas fired power station generating enough electricity for half the homes on the island. Apparently all Thanet Earth will use is the heat and CO2 generated to grow peppers, cucumbers and up to 2.5m tomatoes a week.

Given that they'll be employing 100s of locals, and knowing the Thanetian penchant for, er, getting something for nothing, it'll be interesting to see how much, um, 'wastage' they suffer. Still, look on the bright side. With all that fresh fruit and veg floating around the island we may well notice a reduction in the number of chip-munching lard arses wobbling up and down our high streets. That'll certainly be an improvement to our local environment!

Update: I found a detailed, critical assessment of Thanet Earth by somebody revelling in the name of 'Pete the Hat'. Click here to see it.

Click here to watch Thanet Countryfile on BBC iPlayer (until 8 June)

Hedge/Funds

Time for some other news methinks, and I'm indebted to reader Steve for highlighting a couple of stories in today's excellent yourthanet newspaper - available free in the corner of all your favourite local stores, usually behind the twelve boxes of Haribo.

It seems that Thanet Earth, who are building the world's largest greenhouse on the outskirts of the isle and who pride themselves on their green credentials, have grubbed up part of a commemorative 'Millennium Hedge' for access reasons. They say they'll restore it once they've completed construction so, er, watch that space.

And speaking of empty spaces, those nice Turnip people have announced they are pleased with the 153 visitors a day they've been getting for their latest exhibition at the Turner Contemporary Project Space, or the old M&S to you and me. What a load of pants. I must say, on the occasions I've walked past it's been completely deserted apart from the staff, with passers-by muttering: 'What a f*cking waste of money.'

Still, eventually it'll attract heaps more tourists than Dreamland ever did, I'm sure.

Click here for Thanet Earth story in yourthanet
Click here for Turnip story in yourthanet

Empty Space

The Veg Of Teh Known World

Cripes! A new company styling itself 'Thanet Earth' is set to build seven, eight metre high glasshouses on the Ile - covering the equivalent of 75 football pitches - and fill them with tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers. Construction of the glasshouses, and a 30,000 square metre pack-house, is due to start in March 2008. The first commercial crops, which will be grown 24/7 using heat and lights, will hit the supermarket shelves in autumn 2008.

Should make a pleasant change from the usual pot plants and fart bushes cultivated in these parts.

Full story

You Heard It Here First

Being a modest, retiring, bashful sort of fellow I wouldn't normally crow about beating the BBC to an important bit of local news. So I won't mention that they've only just caught up with my cauliflower story of last week.

Kuh! I don't know. Perhaps I should be charging you lot a licence fee!

BBC cauliflowers 'ere

Cauli Poor Show

Time for a quick round up of the trade papers.

Fresh produce news, and Kent's biggest cauliflower farmer, Robert Montgomery, is to cease production of the crop as it's no longer financially viable. Mr Montgomery, who farms at Upper Hale, Birchington, near Margate, said that the cauliflower acreage had dropped 35 per cent in the Thanet area over the past six years, and nationally it was nearer 50 per cent. 700 acres of caulis, and 30 staff, will now go from the Montgomery farm.

What odds am I offered that Mr Montgomery will be growing a bumper crop of 'executive homes' in the not too distant future? Although, given climate change, it would be terrific to see peppers, or even olives, replace the fart bushes.

Oh, and the BBC has lost Neighbours, almost certainly to ITV1.

There. Where else would you get brassicas and broadcasting on the same blog? Quality!