Great Balls Of Fire

Reader Walter has copied me in on an email he's sent to the Met Office, following a close encounter of the unusual kind he had in the small wee hours of yesterday morning. Walter writes:

At 00:02 on Sunday the 16th of August I observed a bright red glow in the distance approaching from the London area and moving fast to Thanet. This object was glowing orange at the front and passed directly over Ramsgate and out over the channel. Was this a satellite re-entering (burning up) or an asteroid?

Many thanks for your help.

Walter adds that this was an 'amazing sight'. So, did anyone else out there witness it?

Of course this isn't the first time strange lights have been seen in our Thanetian skies, but quite what would entice little green men to travel hundreds of light years to Planet Thanet is a mystery to me. Unless they've heard about our large red women that is!

East Of The Wantsum

For those of you too mean, or poor, to cough up 60p for your Isle of Thanet Gazunder, here's this week's East of the Wantsum (click on image to enlarge). And if you want to see your idea turned into newsprint next week, just drop me a line at:

richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk.

Not that, um, I'm getting desperate for ideas or anything.

The paper currently appears obsessed with spooky goings on. The front page was devoted to Councillor Mark Nottingham's house being struck by lightning, and I see they're running a story on their website about a huge, triangular object spotted a mile off Ramsgate on Google Earth, thus cementing the island's place as the UFO capital of Britain. Not to mention the Stella capital, spliff capital, methodone capital and generally silly-as-a-bum-full-of-Smarties capital.

All this talk of UFOs gives me the perfect excuse to publish a hitherto unpublished snap which one of my lovely Thanet readers sent me back in February. Is it a star? Is it the International Space Station? And, more importantly, why is it tugging a banner with all those numbers on???

Creature Feature

Now that we've established Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula has the finest climate in Britain, what we need is a cheap attraction to replace all the burnt out attractions on our coast. And what better than to take a leaf out of the Kilties' books?

I therefore present to you - THE CHANNEL CREATURE! Yes, folks, there's something incredibly large and mysterious lurking in the water. And no, it's not that hairy, obese bloke who dives off Broadstairs Jetty come rain or shine. According to the 'Association of Marine Research' a 'gigantic' and 'extremely fast moving' creature has been spotted off our shores, and they've even got a rather murky video to, er, prove it.

It all sounds like a load of cods, but what with UFOs and panthers being spotted on and over the island on a daily basis (presumably by the sort of people who've just polished off their third slab of Stella for the day), we could have the makings of Thanet - Mystery Island here!

Is it a borrie? Is it a submarine? No, it's THE CHANNEL CREATURE!

Update: Thanks to a tip-off, I understand that this is some crappy ad campaign being driven by a bunch of oh-so-clever types at Unruly Media. Apparently they're offering 75 smackers to any blogger that carries it. So come on then, where's my 75 quid? Or you could just tell us what you're 'advertising'! Tossers.

News From Uranus

A report in this week's excellent yourfannitinnit (available free in the corner of all local stores, usually behind the twelve boxes of Haribo etc) that a US fighter pilot was scrambled from RAF Manston in 1957 to attack a UFO 'the size of an aircraft carrier' has prompted the following correspondence:

Picture if you will two young scamps out for a cycle ride in the late 50s. Let's call them Sandy and Roger. They are abducted by aliens. Having been given the usual rectal probing, which seems to be standard procedure in these situations, I would imagine the aliens accepted that there was no intelligent life to be found on Earth. So we have Sandy to thank for indirectly saving the planet.

However, I am worried there might be a trigger word that will activate his alien past. What could it be? 'Jobs', 'Axminster', or 'Tosser'? It might explain some of his erratic behaviour. I also wonder if Tiny Terry might not be of this world as he is unfeasibly small, and I think the dapper carapace might hide something the size of a hermit crab.

The Turner Centre could well be a UFO refuelling station as nobody really thinks it will ever hold any art, and it would explain the council's desire to get it built. And as any experienced time traveller will tell you the most revered alien group are the ANIHCs who require a time portal or GATEWAY to search other galaxies. Is it a coincidence that if you spell ANIHC backwards you get - CHINA? I think we should be told!

Hmmm. An interesting theory you speak. And while at it I am, how George Lucas millions can make, when only sentences ending in a verb can he write, another mystery it is.

Click here full UFO story in yourfannitinnit to read

Strange Cloud On The Horizon

Reader Marie, who's been spending a week on holiday here in the Millionaires' Playground, writes:

Did anyone else see the weird cloud formation that rolled over Ramsgate on Monday evening ahead of the storm we had? It looked like the condensation trail from an enormous rocket. Is there any explanation for it? I enclose a photo for your blog.

Well Marie, Ramsgate has seen its fair share of UFOs and other strange phenomena over the years. And as regular readers will know, a great deal of stale, hot air flows out of Uranus and drifts in a north-south direction over the island. My best guess, though, is that RAF London Kent Ramsgate Manston International Airport has been allowing the space shuttle to do training circuits again, but if any readers have a better idea do let me know.

UFO Sighting Confirmed By Pilot

Holy X Files! I thought the rumour I reported at the weekend of UFOs over the island was just a bit of beer talk, but according to today's Thanet Times a pilot who lives in Birchington thinks he may have been visited by aliens! He reports being woken up at 1.20am a few weeks ago by a 'surreal and weird' experience.

Probably not half as surreal and weird an experience as I had, though, when I accidentally clicked here!

Click here for full UFO story in Thanet Times

Strange Lights At Night - Biggles In Flight?

Carousing on the cool Croissette here in the Cannes of Kent last night with my millionaire chums, a strange tale reached the old Eastcliff lugholes. Apparently mysterious lights and UFOs have been spotted recently in the night sky over Birchington.

Lights? Mysterious objects? In the sky? Birchington? You don't think? It can't be. Surely it's not? There again...