Election Called - Nation Yawns

With all Nick Clegg's talk of a 'huge election' this morning, he must be hoping for a well hung parliament. Meanwhile Our Gordon Master's got on the fast train to go shopping with the missus in Kent.

As the proprietor of one of the most influential organs in the country, from now on I'm legally obliged to report the election in a fair and balanced way. So as I haven't yet mentioned the bum-faced Etonian, I'll leave you with this. Whatever you do, for f*ck sake don't vote Tory!*

*Although personally I will be voting for the lovely Laura Sandys as I didn't much care for Dr Steve Ladybloke calling me a liar during that Eurof*****s debacle last year!

Balancing Act

After that last item I'm legally bound to make an equal mockery of all the other parties that are standing for election on our septic isle. So here's the latest from those amusing chaps at mydavidcameron.com, based on the Tories' current 'I've never voted Tory before' poster campaign.

Click on the pic to go to the website and marvel at just how, with a little invention and humour, a multi-million pound campaign funded by a multi-millionaire tax condom can be rendered utterly worthless!

Night Of The Tory Plastic Knives

Yikes! That's scary!

I see from the What's On In Thanet section in my sidebar on the right that the local Blue Rinsers are due to meet later. The rumour is that there'll be a leadership bid to oust the current f*cking tossers, but then we've had these false dawns before.

Why they can't choose someone who, in the words of the old ad adage, is legal, decent, honest and truthful is beyond me. Maybe the Torysaurus gene pool round here is depleted. Even the 'young Turks' are in their 50s. So even if it does happen, don't expect a trendy toff like Dave to be taking over. More likely the beards will have it. Or we'll all be on Bayford Watch for the next two years!

Update: As predicted, the cutlery last night was the cheap plastic kind you get in BA Economy, and as a result our Sandy remains council leader. That said, there do appear to be plenty of Tories who are less than delighted with having a foul-mouthed petition-botherer, whose foreign trips come courtesy of local businessmen, at the helm. Maybe we should be taking a leaf out of Canvey Island's book, where 15 of the 17 councillors belong to the Canvey Island Independent Party? Anyone for IOTIP?

Challenger sacked, Ezekiel 'onwards and upwards' in yourfannitinnit

Deafening Silence

Oh well, there you go. My email to the top Tory toff asking whether it was his party's policy to condone paedophile bashing has fallen on deaf ears. Not a sausage.

So I've decided to have a spring clean, as you'll notice from the sidebar on the right. With 10,001 new visitors to this site in the past week, it's about time I had a tidy-up.

And if any of you local oxymorons find yourselves here by mistake and are looking for a way out, just hit the link that says Pond Life.