Bleak House For Sale Again

Blimey! This Bleak House saga has more chapters than one of Charlie Dicks' originals! Thanks to a commentator on the previous post, we now find that, as well as becoming a B&B, it's up for sale!

Tiny Terry, the island's diminutive developer and estate agent to the stars, is marketing it at a cool 2m smackers. But for that you get five receps, six beds, five khazis, a gymnasium and wet room, and, of course, a museum. Plus the chance to park your aris where the Master himself sat, juggling his bollocks as he knocked out yet another blockbuster. I must say, for a wealthy media magnate and scribbler like myself, it's very tempting.

Not so tempting is the fact that the price seems to have doubled since the Hiltons bought it off that actress woman in 2005. There again, they have apparently restored it to its former glory, using, if the photos are anything to go by, copious quantities of chintz and gilt. I gather their Margate shop is still on the market after a year, so who knows, maybe blings ain't what they used to be! Oh come on, it's late and I'm very, very tired!

Take a tour around Bling House

Tradesman's Entrance

Following on from my last story about Bleak House becoming a B&B, a Broadstairs reader has sent me the above photo of the backside of the place which was taken this morning. My correspondent adds:

The back of Bleak House needs a little work before the great and the good condescend to paying their hard earned wonga. Before Hilton the back was quite reasonable, this has all been done by Mr H and his delightful daughter, and this is the first sight a paying punter will have.

Crikey! I'm not sure if Wayne and Coleen will be coughing up their hard earned sponds to be living the Dickensian dream any time soon!

A Night At The Hiltons'

Thanks to the excellent Thanet Observer blog, we now know you can hire Bleak House in Boredstares for functions, corporate events, weddings and private parties. You can even stay there on a B&B basis for the princely sum of £150-£155 per person per night, including 'a fantastic full English breakfast'. The website boasts: 'Previous guests have included some of Film, TV and Sports most illustrious stars.'

Locals will know that the pile was bought by Thanet kings of bling the Hiltons back in 2005. And that they were up before the beaks last month following a contretemps over the mislabelling of a necklace as 'Tiffany', amongst other misdemeanours.

Fortunately there are no claims on the website that Bleak House is the 24ct gold real deal that Charles Dickens wrote about in his famous novel of the same name. That Bleak House was, of course, oop north. The Broadstairs Bleak House, where Dickens wrote the major part of David Copperfield, was at the time called Fort House. The name was changed around 1900, when locals saw they could make a quick tourist buck by cashing in on the Dickens name and, er, bigging the place up into something it wasn't. Plus ça change, some might say!

Book a night at the Hiltons'

Bling King Sell

Flicking through a recent issue of Jewellery Focus, as you do, I stumbled across an advertisement for Hiltons, the Margate jewellers in the crown. Apparently the shop is up for sale, complete with £85,000 goodwill price tag. Maybe they're retiring to concentrate on running the family home, Bling Bleak House in Broadstairs.

So I'd better snap up that little bargain I saw on their website the other day before they go. Patek Philippe watch, secondhand, a snip at £160,000!