Angina Hits The G-Spot

Ooh I say! It all seems to have gone a bit saucy down at our luxury Granville Theatre and Cinem, here on Ramsgate's trendy East Cliff! Not only have they erected new signage which consists of a very large G with three spots underneath, but on 14 and 15 November they're putting on The Angina Monologues, 'a humorous, spirited and poignant look at the lives of 10 very different women featuring subjects as diverse as Cockney weddings, trips to Benidorm and Stolen art'.

Presumably inspired by the celebrated off-Broadway hit The Vagina Monologues, or even Thanet's very own Angina Monologues, or perhaps comedian Sol Bernstein's, er, Angina Monologues or maybe Canadian corporate therapist and former heart attack patient Lou Eisen's, um, Angina Monologues oh gawd I think I've lost the plot.

Meanwhile I hear a couple of bright sparks over in Margate are planning to strike a blow for masculinism with a plan to stage their new play The Denis Dialogues. And apparently they've found the perfect venue for it...

Private Functions Catered For

My very old chum Angina took a tumble from his Davros undercarriage on Sunday, and was admitted to the QEQM for observation.

He'd been to the 80s night at the Boredstares Pav, as is his wont, and had been careering home up the High Street in, er, very high spirits when the wheels came off. That's what he says anyway.

He's just phoned to ask if I can come and pick him up from the Discharge Lounge. Just like the old bugger to have headed straight for a club in Margate!

Old News

I bumped into that geriatric reprobate Angina on the way back from the Netto last night.

He's fuming because, he says, he predicted that flights to Nowhere, Virginia would be a dead loss when they were announced last year, but can't log into his blog to crow about it at the moment, having had several of his fingers amputated up at the QEQM the other week.

When I got home I searched his blog, and blow me down if he wasn't spot on the money!

Flight of Fancy

14 July 2006

I see yet more of our hard earned dosh is going to subsidise flights from Manston to Norfolk, Virginia, the home of the US Navy. Quite why we'd all want to go there, heaven only knows. I drove past it once. If you like big, grey battleships it might float your boat, I suppose.

And of course, all those US Navy ratings are just dying to get on a plane and come and see our newly opened Tudor house in Margate.

Next time I pay my council tax, I think I'll just get it out in cash, and go and stuff it straight down the nearest drain. It'll cut out the middle man.