Thursday, May 22, 2014

Election Fever!

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Political Editor Gerry Mander

Thanet is in the grip of Euro election fever! And with everything to play for, a host of eager candidates are pounding the doorsteps looking for your vote - and a ticket to ride the Brussels gravy train!

But who are they? What do they stand for? We've been to meet the area's election hopefuls...
President Jacques Chirac, 81 (UKIP). A surprising choice for UKIP, but Jacques doesn't see being French as a barrier to being elected on an anti-European ticket. 'I 'av retired from ze day job, and I need ze new challenge,' he told the Gazunder. 'Ze Sous East of Ongland is very close to France, I can be in my constituency at ze drop of ze chapeau.' And Jacques is promising to bring a taste of the continent to Thanet if he's elected. 'I will 'ave a stall in ze French markets selling ze pigs testicles. I 'ave ze stripey T shirt and everyzing!'Bill Watney, 34 (UKIP). Bill makes no bones about the love of his life - beer! 'It's chuffing lovely it is, magic, bloody magic. Bloody lovely,' he quipped. 'I love it, I really love it. Me? Can't get enough of it mate.' Asked about his position on drunken yobbery in the high streets at the weekends, Bill responded: 'Wankers the lot of them. I'd chuffing show them where to go. Soft as shite the lot of them. Wankers.'
Brittany Barker, 19 (UKIP). As if being a single mum to 33 little 'uns wasn't enough of a challenge, Brittany's now set her beady eyes on Europe. 'I'm fed up with Europe putting us single mums down,' she says. And she's got another bone to pick with the Eurocrats. 'Public lighting. There just aren't enough lamp posts.'
Barry Nutter, 62 (UKIP). Barry's claim to fame is that he once ate an entire suite of dining room furniture. 'I used to go in for these wacky eating competitions,' he told the Gazunder. 'I've also done a sofa, three armchairs and a bicycle.' He set up the Barry Nutter Party last year to highlight the derelict buildings in Cliftonville, but has since joined UKIP. 'There's an empty B&B in Dalby Square I've got my eye on. It should go down a treat with some HP Sauce!'
Wing Commander Professor Sir Rodney Joystick OBE, 87 (UKIP). Considered one of the UKIP 'new bloods', Sir Rodney was knighted for work on hush-hush government projects during WW2. Since then he's pursued a career in hairdressing. 'I've been persuaded to stand by fellow members of UKIP,' he says. 'Most of them are a lot older than me, and despite occasional help from their teenage Thai brides, they generally can't stand at all without the help of a Zimmer frame.' If elected, Sir Rodney has pledged to outlaw young people and nancy boys. 
(That's enough candidates - Ed.)

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wish real life was as funny as this ER (well of course it is when reading your blog)

Richard Eastcliff said...

Yes, it is sad fact that, round here, UKIP will undoubtedly clean up. Even Bignews Tony, who use to be an avid Libdem, has swallowed the Farage bullsh*t and turned purple!

Anonymous said...

It cannot be Southern Water shitting up the beaches yet again before the Bank Holiday?

Anonymous said...

it stunning, and I am wondering what it says about people when you ask the public as the reporter did on the news a couple of days ago when he asked café goers in Ramsgate in front of Farage, "do you know any of there policies other than the obvious one regarding Europe and immigration" short answer "No". how can vote for people, a group, or a party without knowing there manifesto, there proposals and policies they have?

Anonymous said...

Which has precisely what to do with election fever, 1:57, or are you suggesting that, in fact, Southern Water, being European owned, are deliberately fouling the beaches? Let us just hope it is not nasty Johnny Foreigner poo and is our own good Ramsgate stuff.

Anonymous said...

You should have added a picture of your old friend, Tony Flaig, who has finally given up his pretence of being a "liberal" and his membership of the Lib Dems - and is urging readers of his blog to vote UKIP. Actually he seems well suited to a Party that - whilst it whines that it is not xenophobic, racist or homophobic - contains lots of odd-balls who are all of those things. I am not suggesting Flaig is ALL of this things, either.

Anonymous said...

Will Macgonigal be counting the votes?

Anonymous said...

Is Revd Thomas Bayes standing ECR ?



Anonymous said...

all we need now is the Thanet parties to set aside their differences and agree with each other and we won't need to bother voting!

Anonymous said...

Do people not realise UKIP are not fans of the NHS, Working rights of employees, Minimum wage, (so they definately dont want a livable wage), giving this lot any real power would take this country back 40 years, and that wasnt the best place to be in many ways, all UKIP are, failed, extremist, and definately kookie, former Tories. Look atvthe ones locally, a more wierd bunch you will not find. Put your protest vote onto lib dems if you have to, not UKIP, the Tories do enough harm when they are in power UKIP will lave this countries name in tatters across the world.

Anonymous said...

TDC and SW are only now issuing press releases on the turds etc. Same old crap as the last sewage leak. Unexpected rainfall blah blah. Doing our best blah blah. Not as bad as it looks blah blah. Urgent cleanup underway blah blah.The High Court described them as pollution criminals and that seems apt.

Anonymous said...

It's been 1959 days since Dr Steve Ladyman MP announced the 'imminent' launch of the Euroferries fast service between Ramsgate and Boulogne.

Anonymous said...

The more English politicians tell the Scots they would be better off sticking with the union, the more inclined the Scots have become to vote for independence. The more the political elite tell us we can't vote for UKIP the more likely we are to do so.

You see, it doesn't matter whether UKIP has any policies. It's not like the Libertives told us what they were planning to do before they went into government together. The issue here is that the voters don't trust politicians from the main parties. Consequently, it doesn't matter what policies they have. Nobody believes that they will do what they promise when they get into government.

UKIP, on the other hand, has had no opportunity, thus far, to lie and cheat. They say they will give us an in/out referendum on Europe, which we want. If we vote for them and they give it to us, we get what we want. If we vote for the other parties we don't. Simples.

Mrs Tara Plumbing said...

Mr TP and I vote at opposite extremes of the red blue spectrum but there are some things we both agree on.

1. It is a bit scary to see "vote UKip posters in windows in homes near our own - what sort of crazy people live in those houses.

2. We are not expecting UKip to do too well. Their supporters aren't too bright so they will probably be confused by the ballot paper, especially the one at the top of the page with a very similar name.
And they might be tempted by that "I'm English, not British, Not European, Not Human, not of this world party" Sorry if i misquote them, I am just going by memory. Loved reading the ballot paper today it made me LOL.

tony flaig bignews said...

I voted UKIP, purely for this reason no other political party offers or acknowledges that there ought to be a discussion.

I just consider how my fathers generation would come to terms with the way things panned out, I imagine in fairness they'd be pleased with the veneer of freedom in Europe , however scratch the surface and what have done surrendered sovereignty working people of this country actively discriminated against, by both labour Tory and lib.

I doubt I would vote UKIP in any other election, and I'm not sorry if I've deprived any mainstream politico there place in what is the euro pig trough, still at this point I must declare since I've previously accepted a mediocre cup of coffee and rather bland toasted cheese sarnie for which in hindsight I feel thoroughly ashamed from an MEP, FOR WHICH I NOW REGRET.

Just going back to that previous generation, I also think how would those who served in the ww2 to free Europe now feel since most countries in region have surrendered the ability govern themselves.

tony flaig bignews said...

Do you now have comment moderation , just spent ten minutes on a long winded comment

Anonymous said...

9.41, your right they have not had the opportunity to lie to us, yet. however it is important to know their other policies, Hitler was very amiable, a great public speaker, one of the people (loosely), promised and promoted nationalism, wanted a united Europe run by Germany, and freedom to do business (conquer) the world. some of his supporters soon tried to oust him once he got the power he craved from the people which supported him. any similarities are purely accidental, these comments are not based on anyone living and names have been changed to protect the inicent. all said, the "they have not lied to us yet is not good reason to give them such power, it should be based on knowing more about them and seeing how they cope firstly with the authority they are given, when you look at some of there membership, some really are extremists, as reported widely and many a bit off there heads, even if the remainder appear at least to resemble normal whatever that is.

Anonymous said...

Not surprising that a local Westgate con councillor is standing down before next years local elections. The emergence of UKIP last night up and down the country will oust many sitting TDC councillors unless of course they cross over.

Anonymous said...

"We are not expecting UKIP to do too well. Their supporters aren't too bright…". Might I suggest, Mrs TP, that your way-off-mark prediction makes you look the silly one.

Anonymous said...

Tony, I thought your parents were German? Or was that your grandparents?

Anonymous said...

Mrs Tara Plumbing,

In your view UKIP supporters, "aren't too bright so they will probably be confused by the ballot paper.."

Do you think this is a wise thing to say bearing in mind you are trying to run a business. Or maybe plumbers are so rich that they can afford to speak as they please with fiscal impunity.

Whatever the case may be Tara Plumbing has demonstrated a shallow and casual approach to the understanding of politics, which I trust is not reflected in their work? Other plumbers are available.

Anonymous said...

The acid wit of ECR strikes again. My mind is made up, if he's against them then it's UKIP for me all the way.

Anonymous said...

UKIP supporters are dumb - priceless coming from an overpaid pipe-fitter.

Richard Eastcliff said...

I never said I was against them. All I've ever said about UKIP is that I think they're a bunch of swivel-eyed, neo-fascist, xenophobic, homophobic, little Englander micro-brains, and that Farage reminds me of Adolf Hitler in his 'democratic' phase.

Mrs Tara Plumbing said...

What I have in common with UKip voters is that I hold a whole load of extremist minority views.
(I don't think people should keep pets, I know God doesn't exist, and Terminator is one of the best films ever made).
I'm not anonymous, I write them on my blog site and I don't mind being mocked for them.
If you don't like being laughed at then you keep opinions to yourself IMHO.

For goodness safe if you can't have a sense of humour when you have political disagreement then that is very sad and I don't think ECR's blog would be a comfortable place for you.

Anonymous said...

Tara Plumbing,

Who cares what you think other plumbers are avaiable.

Anonymous said...

Tara Plumbing,

Please guide me to the humour on ECR. As you say other blogs are available as are other plumbers.

Mrs RP said...

anon - If you think my comments make me look silly you should see me in person!

anon - Thank you for asking about business. Despite many hard working Europeans from outside of England coming to work here we still find business is thriving.

We are often up against very tough competition when giving quotes (good for customers not so good for us). I guess if we sent all the foreigners away that might push up prices. Getting rid of international labour actually has big implications.

Anonymous said...

ECR at 11:19,

And you ECR once again demonstrate that you are no wit but simply a twit with an overblown self regard.

Richard Eastcliff said...

'Guide me to the humour', 12.10pm? I see you've been sticking your head where the sun doesn't shine again. Although I guess that at least has the advantage of putting you in touch with what might pass for your brains.

Do me a favour old chump - make yourself a nice mug of cocoa and toddle off back to your recliner in front of the talking painting.

Anonymous said...

I see you didn't bite on the Revd Bayes comment ECR ?

As you know he invented a form of maths used in Intelligence analysis.

Basically a person makes a judgement. Later facts emerge that suggest the judgement was wrong. The more surprised he is to have his judgement challenged by facts then the more the judgement should be modified.

Sometimes the world presents us with characters who don't register surprise that facts don't agree with their opinions. They simply assume the facts are wrong. This is a form of megalomania.

This megalomania will eventually manifest as absurd paranoia. Even to the extent of claiming to be the victim of a woman PCC just because he ticked "Like" on a Facebook page. From accusing others of being conspiracy theorists full circle to presenting as a paranoid conspiracy theorist.

He is waiting to be asked to stand again. It is Thanet tories so they may well ask him.





Anonymous said...

I'm a bit of a EU sceptic so I should be tempted by Ukip but I just couldn't bring myself to vote for a party that's the political wing of the Daily Mail or that of Golf Club Man/Weatherspoons Man.

As for that Nigel Falange bloke: he's got the sort fo face you'd like to slap with a wet mackerel!

I voted for some Romanian bloke standing outside the polling booth with a 1960s Steau Bucharest shirt on instead.

Anonymous said...

I think with some cunningly placed extra 'runways' at now defunct manston airfield (or is that just field?), we could create a huge swastika so the roma's know not to come to Thanet/UKIPLand as they fly into booming Lydd Airport.

Anonymous said...

DCR your 1220,

When you feel threatened you always run to using the language of the yob, that you demonstrably are.

Anonymous said...

Anon7:57 pm

You're depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.

Anonymous said...

Mrs Tara Plumbing, here is a bit of advice. Don't go so anti on God for, if you believe and he does not exist, when you go you are no worse off than anyone else. But, and its a bit but eternity, if he is there a bit of respect and faith could see you set up forever.

Anonymous said...

12.57

Wow!

Just how I feel about Unicorns.

Solo Gays said...

I can see myself hitting it off with Brittany Barker lol

1 o'clock Rob said...

Nationally UKIP, compared to Lab/Lib/Con, actually saw their percentage of the vote drop!

Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

ECR,

You did not publish my earlier post in which I referred to you as a yob. This does not bother me for I posted it for you to see.

Maybe outside of your silly blog you are a decent and amiable person. But on it you come across as an uncultured, aggressive, rude, noisy troublemaker.

Pip, pip old bean.

Anonymous said...

So the mahoosive Observer article is published and proves what exactly? That Ann Gloag knows how to run a business. The Manstophiles are now stooping so low and getting so desperate that they're talking about 'war graves'.

Only one part of the article, the conclusion, carries any weight and should be a reminder to the usual suspects that it really is game-over after a source privy to the Gloag-Council conversations stated the following...

"She could just keep on appealing all the way up to the secretary of state and she'd eventually get the result she wants."

Gale, stop using former-airfield for your own purposes. Be honest with those you've suckered in recent months. We know and YOU know that a CPO wouldn't get past first-base. Show some integrity and if you must keep your face in the local rags, do so as someone prepared to work with, not against the inevitable.

Anonymous said...

If I were Ann Gloag I would be seriously thinking about suing the "Save Manston Group." They are openly accusing her of asset-stripping. Of course, asset-stripping is a crime and, if someone has direct evidence they can legitimately make a complaint to the SFO. However, until the case is proven you can't go around publicly accusing someone without the involvement of m'learned friends.

We all know that asset-stripping involves taking a company's assets whilst leaving behind the debts. So, Pfizer has been falsely accused of asset-stripping in the last few weeks. Yes, they have taken company's assets and closed them down; but they didn't leave the debts behind.

In my opinion, Ann Gloag cannot be guilty of asset stripping in respect of Manston. Firstly, there were precious few assets there, and secondly because the assets needed to run it as an airport were there until the day it closed. No court is going to tell a businesswoman she can't close down a loss-making business and no court is going to criticise her for subsequently selling off what few assets there were to try to recoup some of her losses.

Of course, the biggest asset is the land, and Ann Gloag will be entitled to try to recover as much money as possible by developing it.

Those who are currently attacking her must ask themselves why any businessman or woman should be expected to continue running a loss-making business ad infinitum. After fifteen years of constant losses it was inevitable that Manston would close and, when it did, there was always going to be a problem of how much debt was left behind.

The one thing I'm pleased about is that the debts are Ann Gloag's problem and are not a problem for local taxpayers, as they would be if TDC were to give in to the idiotic demands to place a CPO on the airport.

Anonymous said...

The piece in the Observer proves just one thing.

That as usual, Gale the 'businessman' clearly didn't know which questions to pose. An asking price of £7m when Gloag had presumably taken on a further £20m of associated debts? Or did he know? That's what I'd be asking if I was a Manstophile.

With asset disposal underway, let's pray that they start digging up the runways this week as is rumoured.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe in Nigel Farage, but at least I know he exists.

Anonymous said...

7:33, that is not believe because you know he exists and see him regularly in the TV. Believe is about having faith in something unproven, say like your partner loves you. No actual proof is there?

Richard Eastcliff said...

Er, let's steer this away from theology, eh? Thanks.

Anonymous said...

With manston finished a cpo would be relevant only to spur on the pollution cleanup - leaving it derelict and contaminated like the hoverport is no longer an option

Anonymous said...

Or derelict like Pleasurama. What is happening with that site being cleared?

Anonymous said...

MANSTON HAS TO GO NO CPO

Anonymous said...

Manston is a former airfield site, it is closed, no licence, any assets which contributed to it being an airfield when it was open, are being sold off. Site clearance has begun. Its gone, safe guard the museums and begin building for a future with jobs in the construction of whatever goes on the site, as therd will be something for definate, which will help thanet economically on so many levels. A CPO is irresponsabe use of time and money and will not succeed, moreover even the investigation into a CPO is costing TDC and its residence. It has closed it is over.

Anonymous said...

Richard I do hope that I didn't start the theology theme by my mention of Revd Thomas Bayes theorem.

I see that our beloved Bayesian analysis defying PCC Ann Barnes is getting her very own TV documentary.

A tory member of her overseeing cttee feels it is a mistake as it shows her weak grasp of detail.

I had to smile at that one.

I can update you a little on the South Africa mercenary paedophile twins aspect of retrospective Thanet inquiry.

I am told that a man has been traced who was wrongly accused in South Africa of crimes allegedly committed by the UK mercenary paedos. Placing the pair in South Africa as mercenaries is in the bag I am told. Establishing whether or not they were amongst the lot despatched from Thanet may even be achieved shortly with luck.

Even better would be information about the nature of the Thanet support structure especially if it involved a gun range. A harbour and an airfield.

Matthew at Thanet Star is so far the only blogger to have messaged me he had no idea that UDA hit men and drugs importers were arrested in 1992 at their Margate base.

I take it that was a Bayesian surprise for him then.

I wonder why no inquiry to cross refer to the 1987 arrests of Thanet TA men including two later Thanet tory cllrs. Wasn't there UDA collusion involved ? And not to put too finer point on it wasn't that UDA arrest about the time police helped Sericol inquiry into suspected thefts of a solvent used in back street drugs factories. You know the one ECR Cyclohexanone. The theft inquiry discovered the massive scale of aquifer contamination leading to the immediate cessation of water abstraction in the area.

The tory cllr Sericol site safety engineer was one of the TA men arrested in 1987.

Were UDA drugs criminals active in the area at that time ?

Seem like reasonable questions to me ECR. I would hate to think that someone opened the valves from time to time to obscure any theft quantity audit inquiry.




Anonymous said...

A park for Manston to protect and clean the aquifer is the only viable and necessary and sustainable option. Unless you want polluted water?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for publishing that ECR as you know I am standing down a bit whilst I await advice on Met Counter Terrorism Unit position.

Clearly there is now a public record that I have fulfilled all reporting duties Common Law and Statute Law (Misprision and Terrorism Acts) And that means those few Thanet people (meaning one Labour cllr good man that he is) whose statement is included in my report are also covered as discharging reporting duties. Who stands with me will always be my brother.

I got a reply from Minister of Justice re the submission I sent to the Parole Board re Anthony Swindells the murderer of 6th Thanet Range member Ken Speakman. I am not publishing or disclosing the contents of that.

As you know with new information I raised retrospective inquiry last year about Dungeness A backup generators and the historical implications for nuclear safety if the IRA mains distribution attack of 1996 had succeeded. I think it is complete vindication for the position I have taken since 1987(when I first gave Kent Police a prima facie case of sabotage and of company fraud)

I have furnished Met with evidence of association between alleged saboteur and paramilitaries in Thanet dating back to mid 70s.

And dear Iris is at last looking at getting TDC a long overdue policy for compliance with the statutory reporting duties of Terrorism Acts. I have advised her that some prospective investors do actually look at this kind of thing. And I am pretty certain in the approaches made to me by some such prospective investors over the years I have probably stopped the creation of between one and two thousand manufacturing jobs in Thanet because investors did not like the report on Police, Trades Unionism in area, Council, Paramilitary history, IRA benefits fraud history and attacks that are still unsolved.

If Iris wishes to ignore my advice that is her call.

As I said in the email ECR I think that may be my duty done mate.

Rick








Anonymous said...

9.04
If we are to protect our water, it certainly cannot remain an airfield, but it can be developed with large green areas

Anonymous said...

If TDC move for a CPO funded or not, there should be a votevof no confidence in the entire council, the cabinet, the leader, and the chief executive, not to mention anyone else involved, the irresponsibility of all this, is very disturbing, what else is being done we do not know about or will hurt ftom as sn area and residents over the following years to come. Like Dinasours no vision, and old. Much new blood and ideas are needed.

Anonymous said...

Well done to UKIP - from Victoria Parade.

Anonymous said...

So who thinks that by next years elections that UKIP will be a spent force in Thanet? looks like sitting con or lab councillor will need to defect to retain their seat.

Last nights Thanet results saw UKIP top with 16,042 votes - more than double the Cons on 8016. Labour came third with 6,008 votes, with the LibDems training into fifth on 1104 behind the Greens on 2304.

Anonymous said...

ECR, Have a look at the actual election results and your forecasts. You and your shrill coterie of anons have got it wrong, once again. It will be the same with your tenuous no to Manston rants. Toodle pip old bean.

NB: Whether or not you publish this is of no concern to me for it is aimed directly at you.

Anonymous said...

Would tell any Cllrs to defect to UKIP all the anti establishment protest votes will fade if UKIP are ever elected to government, this is because they will bevome part of the establishment once in, as they are beginning to be now. More to the point, the public vote differently in general elections, ULIP will take votes, but once they see the rest of the policies, such as no minimum wage, more cuts on benefits, no NHS as they will privatise it, doing away with your rights to paid holiday and more, some of the new found UKIP votes may fade, as they do not speak for the peoples army of britain as they claim, but for a very far right almost nazi like polotic. As for Manston whats to be wrong about gone is gone, as are the assets being sold off, and much of the press with it, its no longer news, its ladt weeks chip paper and cat litter. Bring on the builders.

Anonymous said...

Lord Ashcroft's poll of marginal seats (late April) shows Thanet South predicted as 31% lab and con, 26% Ukip and 8% libdem for a sample of 1000 voters and when only including those that intend to vote.
So there is great hope for the young pretender.