Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Spam Makes Me Sick

Holy chopped pork shoulder meat with ham meat added, salt, water, modified potato starch and sodium nitrite! This flipping comment spam is giving me the irits!

Seriously, it's taken the fun out of blogging since my last comeback tour in 2012. So until Blogger, Google and all those nerds in Mountain View, California do something to stop the rot, I've decided to throw the 100% Egyptian cotton towel in. Again.

Be seeing you!


30 comments:

Richard Card said...
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Richard Card said...
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Richard Card said...
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Richard Card said...
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Anonymous said...

Why did you call her Natalie?

Richard Eastcliff said...

See! That's what I mean about effing spam!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps if you spam it the spam filter will work better.

Tom Clarke said...

Sorry to see you go again so soon but understand what you mean about spam. Mind you, even before the invasion of strange aliens with links to their weird sites we had Richard Card and still survived.

Don Wood said...

Richard you are a lite weight giving in to a little spam the rest of it digest it with comment moderation.

Richard Eastcliff said...

I'm more than happy with the description 'lightweight', Don. Especially as I've, er, maxed out a bit since my last incarnation here!

That said, I haven't got all day to sit on the blog and moderate. My alternative business interests, such as the Richard Eastcliff Book Club in association with John Menzies, and my range of bathroom products (e.g. Richard's Richards Remover), keep me way too busy.

I suppose I could divert to Facebook or YouTube along with all the other cat fanciers, but there's just not the flexibilty on those platforms to showcase my multi-media talent! And as for Twatter, well, can you imagine me being able to get it off my chest in 140 characters? I tried it once, but found the endless stream of slebs telling me they'd eaten a sandwich or drunk a nice latte at Carluccio's vomit-inducing.

By the way, I had an excellent coffee at Cabouse in the Millionaire's Playground the other day. Now that's fascinating!

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Tony Ovenden said...

Not wishing to appear thick after all I do live in fannit, but I had to think for a minute why a tin of chopped up cholesterol busting cooked pork has made you give up blogging.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Richard Eastcliff said...

Mmmmmmm. Spam! Actually Tony, I've always had a bit of a soft spot for the real Spam. You don't see much of it around these days, though, do you?

Meanwhile, here is an example of the sort of bilge you get from Twatter:

Richard Eastcliff, welcome back to Twitter!

We have one suggestion: follow more people. Yes, more. Following is how you build your home timeline. Building a great timeline is at the heart of making Twitter work. By building a timeline that reflects you and your interests, you'll see how quickly Twitter becomes an invaluable part of your life.


An invaluable part of my life?! I don't want Twitter to be an invaluable part of my life! Maybe, one day, when I'm old, decrepit and bedridden, and completely reliant on Mr Ceaucescu for all my bodily functions, I might be grateful to have some sort of connection with the outside world, albeit one that seems to revolve entirely around what other people are watching on TV. That may possibly be the future for our ageing population - having their bums wiped by Romanians while they watch Flog It! and Twitter-whitter to people they've never met about whether the presenter has been botoxed or not.

But I can tell you, while there is an ounce of strength in the old Eastcliff bod, and the ability to reach round to the old Eastcliff derriere with the Andrex, I will never, ever succumb to that kind of shallow, superficial, empty, miserable, soul-destroying life! Grrrr!

By the way, there were some awfully funny tweets about the new Pope Frank a couple of hours ago, weren't there?

Marky Warky said...

Dohh.. Its like you're an internet guru dude...
You have to expect spam; its part of your fate as a legend.. I'm spamming my website here, so there.. :P

Anonymous said...

Come back soon. Missing you already.

Anonymous said...

Real shame to see that the old Clifftop Mansion has shut its gates once again. Really used to enjoy reading his updates when stuck on the other side of the Wantsum and, thus, cut off from civilised society.

Out of interest, as these spam posts have been removed, would it be possible to see an example?

Richard Eastcliff said...

Here you go, anon 10.35pm. This is just the first ten of the 9000+ that are currently sitting in my spam box. Imagine trying to wade through that every day!

Enjoy!

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Richard Eastcliff said...

I'll leave that one there as it's a good example of how big firms like Nike are spamming the web in order to gain Google acreage.

Click on the link. Nike will be paying some poor tosser in Russia a dollar per thousand words to write that drivel.

So although they may (or may not) have got rid of the sweatshops that make their shoes, they are still running sweatshops - word sweatshops!

Anonymous said...

Those are simply bizarre.

Anonymous said...

the airmax page just seems to be completely circular

Anonymous said...

That is what the big global corporations spend millions on SEO for. That is why they are always top of the rankings. They pay lots of people very little each to sit at their computers all day populating the internet with this trash. The more links Google sees to things saying 'Airmax' or 'Jones's Lightbulbs', the higher it pushes them up its rankings. When will people realise that Google is a scam?

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